It's not like I try to be standoff-ish, I just come across that way since I'm shy. People have told me, 'just put yourself out there', but that doesn't really seem to help me. I'm on 2 sports teams, in 2 clubs, and in ROTC, so one would think I would meet enough people, but nothing's changed. Am I just too busy, and they see me as unavailable? I really want to have a boyfriend for once in my life, especially when I see all my friends being happy with theirs. So I guess my question is really more of how can I find a guy that I like that likes me back? I mean, there are guys I like, but they're completely uninterested in me as anything other than a friend. It's gotten to the point where they'll even sleep in my dorm room if they're having problems with their room mates. I can't just tell them that I like them. I just can't. I don't have the nerve, and I'm afraid of what will happen after they find out. I's just weird to tell someone that you like them when you know they don't like you. But at the same time, what if there's never someone who likes me? For the poll: Should I tell them anyway?
- Yes, tell them. (Please tell me how)50% (1)67% (2)60% (3)Vote
- No, don't tell. (Please tell me why)50% (1)33% (1)40% (2)Vote
- Other (Anything like telling friends, etc. Please tell me what and why)0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
Most Helpful Guy
"I can't just tell them that I like them. I just can't. I don't have the nerve, and I'm afraid of what will happen after they find out."
That's what the guys feel too, until they get over it and just do it.
What you're feeling is not specific to you. Or even girls as a gender. It's all you youngsters who have never asked someone out before. Boys and girls.
Because we've all felt it, we typically have a lot of sympathy for the ones who put themselves out there and say something. I don't think it's harder for girls. I think it's just hard for first timers, and guys get better at it because they are forced to do it more often.
So just say something. Tell them. You'll find that nothing in your fearful imagination comes to pass - the ground doesn't open up, the world doesn't end, no one laughs at you. Regardless of how the guy reacts, you'll have learned that you are braver than you thought and that is a lesson we can all do with learning.0