How to date an attractive woman when they have a lot of in's socially?

Attractive girls have tons of options and social "in's." Often times multiple groups of friends, including at least one that they grew up with. That on top of having a lot of guys after them constantly, it's just hard to imagine how women would be open to someone like me, when I'm just some random nobody that is potentially attracted to them.

Best of intentions or not, I'm not "in" with them. So how does a guy make a great enough impression to earn a date with an attractive woman? I dress nice, am quite savvy when it comes to money and work, and am very friendly but shy. It takes time to warm up to people sometimes, but as I get older I getter better and better about socializing with people. What can I do to give myself the best chance?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just keep asking them out. Eventually one will say yes. I know it's not a magic answer but it's just how it is. All attractive girls are different and are looking for different things in a guy. If they go out every now and again then you might find it hard to find a single one. The more you go out the more guys ask you out. But on the flip side if the physical isn't high on her priority list then she'll likely keep rejecting until she meets someone who fits the bill and that would not necessarily be the most attractive guy.

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What Girls Said 12

  • Another answerer wrote, "The real issue is a lot of the attractive girls know they're wanted in a [physical] manner" -- this is definitely accurate, and depending on what the girl wants in return, it can make or break your interaction with her. I'm always skeptical of men who seem to focus on my appearance rather than who I am, simply because that's not what I'm looking for (though that's different for every girl). If you make it clear that you want to get to know her, and not just hook up with her, that alone will help you distinguish yourself. Don't focus on her attractiveness if you're intimidated by it... we can often tell!

    In terms of shyness, I actually like shy guys because their interactions with me are typically more sincere than guys who just approach a bunch of women hoping one of them will take the bait. I also talk to less shy guys, since they're shy, which makes them stand out. If you're confident in your shyness and aren't awkward about it, that will make an impression. She'll probably think you're mysterious and want to know more. Make your intentions clear, though, and flirt - I've had a lot of guys hang around for weeks but they were too afraid to make a move :/

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  • You walk over and start a conversation. It's not that hard. Don't make assumptions about attractive women. Don't assume they constantly have guys after them. Treat like more than a pretty face and you might get somewhere.

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  • Try to get her away from her pack of friends, or approach her when she's by herself. That's your best way of getting her attention.

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  • be her type in the ways that count.

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  • More confidence will give you a greater chance.

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    • But what is confidence? What makes a woman respond to a man where she feels or thinks, "wow, that guy is confident"?

    • His body language, the way he speaks and his overall comfortability with himself and his surroundings shows he exudes confidence. Confidence is key to so much in this life.

  • You need to have things in common with her that make her feel drawn to you. Otherwise, yeah, you're just another guy who wants to score the hot chick for his own gratification and status.

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  • Does it really HAVE to be an "attractive looking" girl? Does it matter that much? Is it that big of a deal?

    Well, I kind of misunderstand the point, but you could just ask them out and see where it goes.

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  • The best way is to approach her and maybe invite her to date;)

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  • Be different! Not like scary different but be or do something she's not expecting. Watch the romantic movie Keith, it shows what a lot of girls end up doing. AND BE CONFIDENT

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  • That's the consequences to dating a hot person.

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  • You make so many assumptions about attractive women. You mustn't do this.

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    • Why not? This is all true, and even if I was assuming, I don't see how it would cause any harm in this context.

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    • Ok so even if it isn't true, no harm done. I don't see how assuming these things would harm my approach.

    • I agree with this girl. As an atfractive woman myself you shouldn't assume.

  • Hmmm I have 2/3 groups of home friends, 4 main groups of uni friends (including the people I live with). In terms of guys i've dated, usually they are either a friend of a friend or I don't know their group at all.
    Currently the dude i'm seeing I met at a club and kept seeing him again and again at other random times and places (chance). He took my number one night, and the next time i saw him he said he'd message me. I agreed because he was interesting.
    The guy before that I met also chance few years ago and reconnected through both having wattsapp. I agreed because he was hot, but also seemingly sweet.
    The guy before that by chance at a club we just started talking in the smoking area. We danced all night and things went from there. He wasn't shy, but he was a quiet man. I agreed because his mind was fascinating and also a very good dancer.
    The guy before that i met through a friend, we just got close and things went from there. I agreed because he was cute.

    In terms of meeting all these guys (and i meet a lot frequently) I play and active role in allowing myself to be approachable/approached. I don't snub a man off who's confident enough to start a conversation with me. I try to avoid traveling in hordes in situations where i could be approached (if i feel like meeting someone new). I provide proximity, and leave the guy to with it what he will.

    For me, I don't like games. If you want to go on a date with me, just straight up ask me out and you'll get an answer that'll be it. If it's a yes, waheyy! If it's a no, move on. Guys in between who asked and i said no to dragged it out because of shyness when we both knew what was going on. Other dudes obviously liked me but just never asked because they were too scared to.

    I am seeing a guy, but I also have a thing with another guy, and a thing for another guy all together. I'm not committed to anyone, i don't see any of them as long lasting. But if I find a guy that is i'll drop 'em in a heart beat.

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    • Why would you throw away a good thing like that? :/

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    • "He took my number one night, and the next time i saw him he said he'd message me. I agreed because he was interesting."

      What made him interesting?

    • Usually i'm the type of person to psych people out in terms of remembering who they are, where i met them etc. He reversed that on me when i met him for a second time on a night out (probably months later). I was surprised because that was my talent lol.
      Furthermore most guys when i go out are trying to get as far with me as possible if they meet me at a club. If they're good looking or have some kind of charm I don't mind, but our night is in that club. I don't go home with them and as soon as I leave i'll respond to nothing else from them. He walked me around to a quieter area to get my number, we talked for a bit, he could have done/tried anything but he didn't. He was super chill, and very polite. That was interesting, and to be honest quite refreshing.

What Guys Said 8

  • You just gotta have something in common with them and be attracted to more than looks. As a guy who works out a lot I can tell you that a lot of attractive women out there are just that, attractive looking and nothing more. If all you have is physical attraction, all you will have is a physical relationship. Sure the guys want to make out with her, but outside of that, they have nothing in common.

    The real issue is a lot of the attractive girls who know they're wanted in such a manner, can take different directions with this. The truly nice girls just ignore the guys but there are other girls who take advantage of these guys, and then other guys who aim to take advantage of the girl they are after. Looking at the way she behaves overall is critical. If she's constantly trying to act like "she needs help" and wants you to "rescue her," it's very well an attempt to manipulate you.

    I also don't recommend doing anything "out of you way" to attempt to woo an attractive girl. If you have something in common with her, she'll see what kind of guy you are and go from there and you will not have "lost anything" getting to know her.

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  • If they wanted to be dating one of the guys in their social group, they would be.

    yes, attractive people have more choices, and have constant new choices, and you need to have a package of traits they consider the -best- of those on offer.

    Forget -earning- a date. You can't earn a date. Either you're the kind of guy she wants or you're not, either you're compatible or you're not, either you fit together or you don't. When you talk to her, don't think about earning anything, get to know her and decide if you're a good match or not, and let her worry about if she thinks you are.

    What does she have to do to earn a date with you? Nothing. You date people for who they are, day in day out, not what they did to earn the date.

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  • You're making a lot of assumptions - they aren't all exactly the same e. g. many will be more introverted and won't have such a huge social circle, won't be constantly partying etc.

    However, you're right about them having a lot more options. You have to stand out in the right way - come across as a man who also has options.

    Most guys act like pussies around attractive women. They're either afraid to show any kind of interest so they play "gay best friend", or they do show interest but they kiss her arse too much. A woman like this can easily manipulate and dominate these kinds of men - women don't find this attractive at all. They like the attention, sure, this is why many will tell me I'm talking shit and they'll encourage you to do so, but in reality they also see it as pathetic behaviour so it makes their pussies as dry as the Sahara desert. The most important thing is not to put her on a pedestal. She's nothing special, she's just a person. Be the one guy who doesn't treat her as though the Sun shines out of her arse - if you're decent looking, she'll probably be a little curious.

    Don't be too available, and don't take any shit from her. You must have heard the nice guy vs. asshole/jerk argument over and over. There's some truth to it, however, the so-called "assholes" are often only called assholes for the simple fact that they don't do exactly what the girl wants them too. "Nice guys" call them assholes because they suck up to women and will do anything for them, and obviously think that if a guy doesn't there must be something wrong with him. Women call them assholes because they won't do what she wants him to do. But like I said earlier, they aren't attracted to guys who they can easily manipulate - now can you see why women supposedly only fuck "assholes"?

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  • I've read that a lot of really attractive women don't get all the dates you might think, because so many guys are intimidated at the idea of asking them out. Easier said than done, I know, but simply being self-confident enough to make the leap and ask this gorgeous girl out may be all it takes. All she can do is say no. And that's not the end of the world.

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  • Attractive women are too much of a hassle.

    Sleeping with them for the short-term is nice, and visual appeal doesn't last long.

    I also mean that literally, as with time their appearance will decay.

    Conversely, character does not.

    In short: Girl with decent appearance, good head on her shoulders > Hot girl.

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  • You have to just "jump in" and just go for it dude. Mention something involving the situation to her (a foolproof one is to ask what she's drinking) , introduce yourself, and let the situation roll from there.

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  • It's a numbers game... If u ask out 100 girls one is bound to give you a number, that's why you see average dudes with hot girls

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  • remembering a girls name certainly would help, LOL. that has been my downfall many a time. im terrible at remembering names unless iam around you on a constant basis. but thats just one thing among many, MANY things

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