I feel like I'm never going to get a boyfriend?

Hi there, I'm an 18 year college student who has never had a boyfriend. I have had guy friends and went out on a few dates before, but nobody to actually call my own. It always seem like these 3 scenarios for me, its either: 1) me and a guy seem like we're getting along great at first, and then we slowly drift apart, and then poof! There's nothing there anymore or 2) there's a guy that adores me but i just don't like him back that way, he could be the sweetest thing but i just don't feel a spark or 3) the guy who is a player and just wants to have sex with me. I can never find that right guy for me or maybe I'm just too picky? I don't know >.< I am pretty shy and introverted but i open up once you get to know me. I think I'm nice, funny, smart, and have a good head on my shoulders. I think I'm pretty attractive but sometimes I don't think so because guys look at me but they don't actually say anything so it makes me think I'm ugly. I don't know what to do, i just feel like at this rate, i will never get a boyfriend :( sorry, this was more of a rant than a question


Most Helpful Guy

  • Are u sure the guys in scenario #3 are players?

    Just because a guy wants to have sex early in the "dating process"... doesn't mean he's not monogamous relationship

    I know this from first hand experience; I've been presumed to be a player before because (I've been told) I'm a charming and cute guy... that does like to pursue sexuality early in the meeting process. If I'm into a girl personality wise and find her decently or more attractive, I want to be sexual with her (and not just in a selfish "my needs only! " way either).

    I truly feel that I'm a great catch, however some paranoid females shelved me as a "non relationship guy that can't stay faithful in a relationship " guy, and missed out on a good thing.


    Truly assess every guy that u considered category #3 . Said guy could've truly felt into you overall as a person early in the meeting process and wanted to connect with u on a physical level.

    Don't let the paranoia of getting "played" overwhelm you and make u miss out on a good thing!

    • I mean, I understand what you're saying, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with a guy wanting me sexually, but when it seems like he isn't even trying to get to know me and the first thing he talks about is sex, then yeah, I don't want that :p

    • Makes sense. I'm just making sure you're not just writing off every sexually open guy as a player! :-P


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What Guys Said 3

  • Unless you're a beastly, hard-headed goat of a woman on the inside, I don't think you have anything to worry about!

    • Haha nooooo, I'm nowhere near like that palek, but thanks for the answer :)

    • I didn't think so from reading your post. So ya got no worries!

  • other then the fact that i probably dont look the best, from your description it seems like we are sorta alike, and i used to feel the same way about getting a girlfriend, but just to let you know all you are going to get here are people telling you "just give it another try, you will find the one." or "im sure the right guy is out there for you, just keep looking" and my favorite "there are always more fish in the sea!" dont worry, I've heard the same things too. Look, when you think that you need to find a relationship and all you think about is wanting one but not being able to get one then you will just make yourself depressed. There is no need for you to have a relationship right now, focus on important things and let it come naturally, trust me when i say you will start to feel much better.

    • I mean, I'm not really to the point where I'm like "omg I NEED to find a boyfriend", but it would just be nice to have one, you know? But yes, you're right, I just need to focus on my studies, and hope that it will just come naturally one day

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    • Thank you so much, I wish you the same ^_^

    • thank you!

  • no need to be melodramatic. relationships are hard work. sounds like being single is your option right now anyway with you being in college.


What Girls Said 4

  • All I can say is when it's right it will happen. I was 28 before I got my boyfriend... and it was worth the wait.

    You probably just haven't found the right guy for you... have faith that it will happen... I never ever thought I would have a BF right now... so I get how you feel... You are a step ahead of me though... because I didn't date before my BF... so at least you have some experience and know what you like/don't like.

  • You gotta stay positive. I'm 22 and never had a boyfriend.

    • Yea you're right, positivity is always the best, thanks for the answer :)

  • Just be patient, everything has its time. Focus on other things and try to have fun.
    I'm 21 and I also never had a boyfriend.

  • First of all, you are Gorgeous and a total hottie.. if that's you in the pic.
    Maybe dudes are shy or intimidated by your beauty?
    I understand where you're coming from though, maybe you could just take charge and ask the guys out?

    • Yea it's me in the pic and aww thank u ^_^ I'm just so shy though, I really think I have social anxiety, it's just not with guys, but people period, I get really worked up when it comes to certain social situations, I get really shaky, my hands get sweaty, and my heart starts beating really fast, it's hard to talking to other girls sometimes, let alone guys >.< but i would like try to put myself out there like u said

    • Aww :( I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with that. You need not be nervous though.. You're a 10, girly and you should own that. You sound like a nice person too which would only add to your appeal. Keep working at the social thing but always remember that you are insanely beautiful and have nothing to be shy about ;)