I've been with my boyfriend almost 2 years. It is long distance so we only see each other once or twice a month. In the begining, he did cute stuff, held my hand whenever he could, hug me, even spontaneously kiss me. It made me feel special. Like he wanted me. I knew he truly loved me because of his actions. Now, I feel that he is losing interest in me. He hardly gives me affection. And its not like I've tried. I have spontaneously given him a hug or a kiss and I get no reciprocation. Its been going on for months, but I just shrugged it off. But even though he tells me he loves me, he hardly shows it. And sex does not count as affection to me. I just see it as something a guy always wants and he will take who ever is there.
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Unfortunetly I was this way for much of my marriage. You learn how to show affection from your family of origin. We didn't have it growing up. Because I thought that I didn't need that affection I didn't think she needed it. even though she asked for it a lot. I thought I was giving her a lot of affection. but my idea of a lot was not her idea of a lot. I love her very deeply, that was not the issue. I regret not getting into couples therapy to truly figure that one out when it was first an issue.
You really need to sit down and be very up front with him. Explain what your feelings are. Explain very explicitly what he is and is not doing. Make sure he understands your feelings. had my wife done this I would have been very different. I just didn't know any better.0