Newly dating, how do I offer to pay when we go out?

I would like to pay for myself when we go out, but not sure what's the appropriate way to do it.

my view is:
1-if we're going for lunch, I can ask for separate check.
2-if we're going for drink, what do I do?

3-if we're going somewhere where I can pay first, I'll just pay first.

what else?

  • I pay first
    33% (1)20% (1)25% (2)Vote
  • I give the money to my date
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  • I ask for separate checks
    0% (0)20% (1)12% (1)Vote
  • any other ideas?
    67% (2)20% (1)38% (3)Vote
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Most Helpful Girl

  • If it's a restaurant where you pay first, you can do that. If it's like most places where you pay after you eat, don't ask for separate cheques. That always ends in a quick disagreement between the two people something like "oh, can we get separate checks please?", to which the guy quickly says "no no, it's my treat" and then you either accept it and let him pay for you or continue arguing. How about when you guys are getting close to finishing your drinks or meal, excuse yourself from the table. Go to the front and just ask the waitress to bring two separate cheques. Problem solved. :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • If you wanna pay your own way and it's important to you, then just tell him so. I don't think it's a big deal. Say it with a smile on your face and you'll be just fine.

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  • I always pay if Im "dating" them, if its a casual date, hopefully its a split bill, but usually I pay.

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    • dating versus casual date?

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    • 1st offer, if he pays..then all well and good

    • lol I meant how do i figure out if we're in a relationship or friends with benefit.

  • Give the money to your date if you really want to, or after the date if it went well you think you could be like "next date is on me" or something haha

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  • tell ur date to pay for everything, but look at his facial reactions. If he's distressed or angry, ask him how much you should pay.

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    • tell my date to pay for everything?

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    • but I don't want him to pay for anything. I mean he can treat me once in a while but I don't need him to pay for me. is that what you do? and how old are you?

    • *smacks head* of course you want to be nice, i understand that. But to be honest, i have never been in a relationship before. but my ultimate and last advice would just to be NATURAL. Let everything happen and enjoy

  • If I can afford I will always prefer to pay for my girl. But if she insists on paying, BlueEyedHipsta's approach sounds good to me. And if she still wants to pay her share then she can let him pay and then split it later.

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    • so it's better to split afterwards? I think that's a bit awkward... any other ways we can do this?

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    • The reason I said to split afterwards is keep his male ego. If you are really not comfortable with the idea. Be frank to him before hand and ask him how would he like to split it. Though direct, if he is like me, he will appreciate your frankness.

    • oh ok, I just don't want to imply that I want him to pay it all which is why I wanted to split it at the scene. thanks

What Girls Said 6

  • Just be honest with him at the start, just simply say "I don't know what your plans are, but if it's alright with you i'd like to pay for myself". He'll appreciate the honesty and if he insists on paying then let him, thats a real gentleman

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  • There are many opportunities to inform him that you want to pay or pay halves. On the way there, you could say "I feel bad for you paying, so I'm going to pay for myself". If he keeps insisting that he should pay, then you could ask for separate checks, but I don't think he'd be very happy about that. You could always sneak your money into his pocket if you can which may give him a cute little surprise later on. Or when the check comes, put some money down before he does and be persistent.

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  • In all honesty you should expect him to pay.Not because you can't afford it, but because its the gentlemanly thing to do, and it shows that his intentions with you are just.He can provide.But always say that you appreciate the gesture, always...If its casual dating, just tell him that you are only trying to get to know him better, that you are not using him for his money and would like to pay your way.

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  • if he asks me out, i expect him to pay. If i ask him out, then i'll pay.. or at least try to

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  • I think that what BlueEyedHipsta said is right. Honesty is the best policy. Just be straight up and tell him that you don't mind paying for yourself if he insists let him pay but tell him next time its on you.

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  • It's up to you and how comfortable you feel with this guy but it's best not to assume he is going to pay for you, most men don't do that now days.

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