If the guy I'm seeing feels like a brother, is there no chance of a healthy steady long-term relationship?

Quite soon after we first got to know each other, he told me that I'm "basically almost like [his] twin, just in female form". At first I denied it but in past days I've started to think: he's right. I do feel like he's my "twin". Ever get that feeling with a friend of the opposite sex? I feel like he could be my sibling, that's how emotionally close I feel with him, but also that's also in a weird way if I can compare him to a sibling.

We've f***ed, but it wasn't fantastic sex, it was just sort of the "next step" after cuddling and him getting me to give him a b***j**, so we've now become f*ck buddies, and yet the truth is, even though I claim not to want it, deep down i >do< badly badly deeply want a boyfriend and I'm now wondering if he'd be a viable option.

He hugs me lots (and i feel like it'd be the way best friends hug their best friend), and I too feel like jumping on him and being basically a monkey (charming). (I just haven't felt uninhibited enough to do that yet but I'm dying to and surely will end up actually doing that soon.)

Can good friends, i.e. goofy best friends, give rise to a long-term meaningful pairing? Apologies for sounding cheesy but I wouldn't mind landing up with him for keeps.

I'm just wondering if our relationship is too childish.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, they can, provided you feel mutually attracted to one another. I noticed you wrote that "deep down i >do< badly badly deeply want a boyfriend" but you didn't say deep down you really wanted HIM as a boyfriend. You two could make a great couple, if you want HIM as a boyfriend and he wants you as a girlfriend.

    • Haha the reason why I made such a generic statement is because to tell the truth, in the beginning, I thought to myself that he's a conventionally attractive guy, but not my type. Not that I really know what my "type" is but I guess he didn't fit in my idea of a relationship. But truth be told, I've never had ANY healthy relationships all my life. So maybe the reason why I didn't say I want HIM has a boyfriend is because my idea of relationships has always been unhealthy...if that makes sense... I don't know I'm so confused about what's healthy and what's painful. :/

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    • No, no! Not cheesy. That's a worthy sentiment. Very tender, I think. If you are attracted to him, why not take a chance that he will be the man who makes you happy the rest of your life?

    • gawwwd i hope so, haha. this evening he looked at me and nonchalantly said, "you're very pretty." Talk about a feather in a cap lol but I went to the bathroom later and realised my hair made me look stupid. it's just completely not making sense to me that he'd currently finding me attractive lol.


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What Guys Said 3

  • It most certainly can turn out to be lifelong. But do you really want it to last that long? Or would you rather remain the best friends as you stand? That's what you have to figure

    • It most certainly can turn out to be lifelong. But do you really want it to last that long? Or would you rather remain the best friends as you stand? That's what you have to figure out. To me, if you play your cards right, he could very much become your lifetime lover. My advice would be to actually talk to him about it. Ask him what he wants to do about your situation. (sorry I misclicked submit :P)

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    • Or...lifelong friend with benefits? haha. For some reason the very idea of boyfriend and girlfriend freaks me out. (Even tho i said I want a boyfriend.) The thought of potential breakup makes me SO scared of losing him! :(

    • I meant life time lover as in either marriage or acting as a married couple but never getting truly married. But all situations are different and the idea of marriage may not be ideal for you and you might just prefer a friends with benefits. Take it how you slice it

  • it is actually good that you are that emotionally close. They say the best couples start out as great friends. It is not too childish

  • I'm not sure


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