Is it ok to not want to text a guy every single day?

There's this guy I am friends with and we text every single day. He lives a few hours drive away from me.

He's expressed having feelings for me. I do for him too but I know we would never work out. We are similar as in we like the same things and feel the same way about things, but he won't apply himself in a job and is kind of a "loser" (I use the term "loser" a bit loosely, and for lack of a better term to help describe his ambition in life. He is a wonderful guy.)

Anyway, I feel bad but sometimes I just want to not hear from him. I get like this when I can tell he's toying with me. Like purposely leaving my messages. Due to distance we use texting. He IS a "texter".

I find myself so interrupted and preoccupied by him. When he doesn't respond, it's on my mind. When I am having a quiet evening or a quiet morning I have him tugging at my sleeve for attention when he's lonely. He has said he is lonely at times- many times in fact.

We aren't dating... And I have freedom to enjoy. No, not seeing or texting other guys or anything like that. I mean regular good old fashioned freedom.

I told him I was going away and wouldn't have phone reception this weekend. (I'm not though.) I said I'd be going right when I sent the message, and I turned off notifications from him.

I feel so free. I almost want to celebrate tonight. I can't believe I feel this way. It makes me realize he must be dragging my spirit down or something.

What do you think? What should I do? I hear from him everyday and I love talking to him. But we are living in this pseudo relationship thing I think. It's too much contact for two people that aren't in a relationship, don't you think?

When I pull away he tends to come on strong and we get back into fantasy land. Don't know what else to do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, This question has just made me realize something. I have been texting this girl for about a month, almost everyday. Recently though she's been sending way more, "Yups" and other one word responses. Also the time it's been taking her to respond has been increasing slowly over the past two weeks. I told her if I text her too much she can tell me, and I'll slow down. I think she doesn't want to say it though. I think I'll lay off the texting for about a week or two and see if she starts responding differently. Thanks for the wake up call. Anyways, to answer your question, If it where me, I'd want the girl i'm texting to tell me by saying something like, "Hey, Nothing personal, but if you could slow down the texting for a little bit I would greatly appreciate it. It's nothing personal, and I still enjoy talking to you, but I just need some time to myself." If he doesn't do what you asked, just start taking longer to respond, and he'll eventually ween off of texting you. Hope I helped!

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What Guys Said 4

  • Sounds like you should slow down your guys' conversation habits. If it's gotten so bad that you actually felt like you had to lie and tell him you'll be gone for the weekend, that's a clear sign that you're craving distance and separation.

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  • He wants you, you sort of have feelings but don't want to be with him, but you are having a virtual emotional relationship with him. And being broken up appeals.

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  • I don't mind honestly when ever the girl wants to chat is fine with me especially since I have a lot of time consuming hobbies that require me to be alone and in peace like when I body build, paint or write.

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  • Yeah texting someone every day is crazy. Even for boyfriend and girlfriend I think.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Communicate with him how you feel in a very gentle way. Continuously telling someone you're lonely is definitely annoying. But I would say something to the affect of,"I'm not much of a texter and I'm super busy most often." That might get him to slow down on contact and get the message. Follow that by taking hours to get back to him on a text.That way he will hopefully slowly ween off of messaging you all of the time.

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  • You need to communicate with him in this case I see why you do not want to talk so much. I would not either.

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