Approaching someone you find attractive - one size fits all or tailored?

There's thousands of articles on this topic on the internet, probably on here too, but I want to ask from a more personal point of view.

For the ladies on here, what's your best or worst experience being 'approached' by a man, in a club/bar etc - did he succeed or not, why/not?

For the gents, do you believe in the numbers game or do you even 'approach' many women successfully?

Can the 'shoe' be on the other foot 2014 or do women still prefer the more 'traditional' methods i.e. man makes the first move.

In my experience my most 'successful approaches' were merely organic and spur of the moment - no chat-up lines etc.



Most Helpful Guy

  • The 'successful approaches' still need some 'game', but all needs to come with the place of 'giving', rather than 'taking' values from the person. If you want to approach a girl just to want to have sex with her in your whole mind by giving her compliments? What's the point? by the way it's taking values rather than giving values.

    I think men should make the first move no matter what, if we still wait for the women to act, we already died in loneliness, this is my personal point of view, women really scare rejections furthermore compared to men's perspective.

    This is numbers game, the more numbers you have, the higher the chances you get better with women. Perhaps you are having a good interactions with a woman, and she gives you a reason''oh..I have a boyfriend'' kind of excuse. Do pass her test, she might be testing you. So it's all about numbers game.

    For my part, honestly I have never approached many women successfully but I'm working on the social states.

    Best Regards,


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What Girls Said 4

  • Here's how I told my crush I liked him, bought a pack of crush gum put i've got a crush on you and I like you on the package gave it to him walked away.

  • I don't think a girl asking out a guy is wrong. definitely not. Personally though, I would want the guy to approach me :)
    The worst : I was travelling in a crowded bus and this guy was constantly rubbing my hand and he was like whats your name , which college do you go to , etc
    Yea i think most are spur of the moment. They are often the most endearing because most of them are hilariously cute :D

  • personally, fearlessness when guys approach me is very attractive. :)
    Not cocky, but, just unafraid to be vulnerable.

    Answer mine :)

  • Well, for starters, of course the shoe can be on the other foot! I've approached and asked out guys myself when I was single. If I'm interested in him, why not?

    And I agree with your last statement…I think the best "approaches" are ones that are organic and honest.

    The best and worst "approaches" I ever experienced were by strangers in a bar. One guy (who wasn't particularly attractive, mind you) came up to me and said, "I just had to tell you that you are gorgeous." I could tell he was so nervous when he said it, which made it all the more flattering. I knew it took a lot of guts for him to do that and I felt bad I wasn't attracted to him, but his honesty was definitely appreciated.

    The worst "approach" happens all the time…the drunk, good-looking douchebag that acts so in love with himself and like god's gift to women that he thinks he doesn't even have to try. The most recent time was when I was standing at the bar after just getting a glass of water (long night), and some guy comes up to the bar with all his buddies. He looks over at me (a bit glassy-eyed) with a drunken smile and says "just water, huh?" as he slowly moves toward me. I fake smiled (lol), grabbed the glass and walked away.


What Guys Said 1

  • I'm not to sure what the numbers game is, but I approach women all the time it's how I've always done it and yes there is TONS to tailor it to the kind of girl you are going to approach. I've yet to be told to Fuck off, some girls are very open to it but the worst ones are the ones that don't look shy are really are becuase they are the ones who act like uhh huh what what's going on? It seems like they don't get hit on or approached very often so they get in the flight mode and get to steppin. One girl (lmfao) I approached and she was still talking to me as she was walking away I was hella confused... Sooo she was interested but shy to the point she needed to leave. I know she wasn't busy because she said so herself. Shy girls act really weird when they get approached. I personally think that women need to start taking charge, I've had girls approach me a few time even though it was only a few dates and sex the whole girls approaching was a really great turn on to me at least. Organic and spur of the moment...I don't think those are too often for me because I go on the prowl a lot. Most of my approaches I think are organic and spur of the moment so that's why I act on them to begin with. This is just how I got about doing my thing others may disagree and not relate but everyone is different.