Girls, tell us about the dreaded Friend Zone?

Let's say you have feelings for a guy, but then you put him in the friendzone because you're just not entirely sure. What's the motivation behind this? For example, are you just letting him down easy? Is it possible you're feelings might change down the road and don't want to mess things up now? Will you ever place him back in the "I want to date him" category? Just let us know how this works.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When I'm friends with a guy I'm not attracted to, I'll put him in the friendzone. It sounds so harsh but if I'm not physically attracted to him I can't see me and him in a relationship, so friendzone it is.

    When I AM attracted to him, and he obviously has a good personality otherwise I wouldn't be friends with him, I won't friendzone him. I might make him feel like he's in the friendzone, by playing hard to get, but I won't ever determine it; I would act weird about it and never give a clear answer. If he'd say "you friendzoned me didn't you" I'd say "look at the weather" but then in less obvious ways ofcourse.

    The friendzone is not that bad, I think, it just means I don't like him back. But I will not let that ruin the friendship. Not again..

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What Girls Said 3

  • First of all, the friendzone doesn't exist, not to go all "feminist" on you but it's not a thing.

    What you're talking about is a girl who isn't interested in a guy sexually, just in a friend way. If you're friends with a girl just so you can eventually get into her pants or get into the "date him" category, then you are just not a good guy at all.

    Girls aren't machines that you can put kindness coins into until sex falls out, that's the basis of the friendzone argument.

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  • Umm I put guys there that I don't know what to do with like when one of my best friends started flirting with me I didn't want to think i him like that because he already made me awkward and I didn't need more of that.

    also we may be sorting out our feelings for another guy. Girls can have multiple crushes at a time but we always have a "favorite" per say.

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  • People get put in the friend zone because there is no sexual attraction.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Why are you asking girls this? This isn't a conscious decision process, and most of them can't tell you what they're doing.

    Your initial statement 'you have feelings but put him in the friendzone because you're not sure' is not generally what happens. The odd girl who has never dated before might do this, but 98% of guys who are in a girl's mental 'friends' category she simply doesn't find attractive enough to want to hook up with. Its that damn simple.

    And he can be the bestest friend in the world for years and that won't make her suddenly feel lust. He is in the 'friends' category because he's nice. Being more nice won't make him hot.

    Does a guy ever move into the 'want to date' category?

    It happens, though not often. Lose the fat, add some muscle, dress better, become a more confident guy, flirt better, fuck other girls and get on a good career track.

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  • If a girl puts you into the friend zone, one of the biggest reason is u lack of MASCULINITY and therefore she can't open FEMININITY to you because she doesn't feel safe or trust you. Perhaps you're acting weak, poor decision making, negative-thinking, possessive, all these stuffs that quickly turns women off!

    Once you are put into the friend zone, I'm not saying no chance there's almost NO CHANCE for you to be attractive anymore in her eyes, if you really want to, you have make very big change to yourself.
    Eg: Start investing yourself into passions, make more female friends, be more sociable.

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