Should a guy pay for the first few dates?

When you first start dating a guy should he pay for the first few dates. Why and why not?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Whoever asks or organizes the date should pay. As a guy I make sure that I can pay for at least the first few as I would have asked her out and organized the dates. I've dated some girls who insisted on splitting or paying for our dates. It was always a good feeling that they wanted to impress me as much as I wanted to impress them

    If you want to take initiative then and to plan a date so that you are in an environment that you feel most comfortable in and would like to show him some of the things you like then be prepared to pay

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What Guys Said 11

  • The guy should at least pay for the first date. Beyond that I see nothing wrong with it being more of a team effort.

    For women: if you could, imagine for a second what a role-reversal would feel like here. Imagine if you were expected to pay for all/most of your dates because that's "what the woman does." Doesn't it seem silly and antiquated to you? (And I totally understand that there's PLENTY of times when men would benefit from walking a mile in a woman's shoes, too. Believe me, I get that)

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  • I'll say yes but not because that's how I think it should be all the time. If I want to get a girl into bed, I have to make her feel special. If I have to spend money on her to make her feel special then so be it. Means to an end really.

    I did, however, spend money on a girl I liked. I took her out and everything. Then when I went to pay I got a serious bitch-face from her, as if I was doing something really wrong by paying. It sorta sent the wrong message that I shouldn't be paying, but I don't know.

    Anyways, it's a very polarizing issue because, on the one hand, girls want to feel provided for. However, on the other hand, guys tend to feel like their wallets are being abused in doing so. We've all heard the stories of girls using guys for free stuff. I don't think most guys would have a problem spending money on a girl if he knew she wasn't just using him, leeching off of him, and that his efforts were appreciated.

    The key for you girls is to differentiate yourselves from these money-grubbing women.

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  • Yes, always, forever. The guy should pay for all the dates. That shows the girl he is serious about taking care of her and can provide down the road.

    In the guys defense, girls should show appreciation, he is loved more than his money, and he is treated with respect if you are dating a great guy and not some jerk with money.

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  • All I'll say is that any woman who expects a man to pay and then complains about inequalities and sexual double-standards is a hypocrit.

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  • He should pay for them all, the man should provide for his woman

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    • Have a nice life with a gold digging wife, they love guys like you

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    • Obviously he can make women happy, they love suckers like him.

    • Srry "swagswagswag" I'm giving no fu*ks bout what some chump change loser feels bout how I treat girls

  • I believe, It should be who ever done the asking out. If the guy asked the girl out than he should pay for the first date, and if the girl asked the guy out than she should pay. After the first couple of dates it doesn't really matter who pays, as long as people are happy.

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  • Sure as long as you don't demand equal pay for equal work.

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  • If the guy should pay for the dates, then the woman should make sandwiches and wash the dishes.

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    • My bf likes me to make fancier meals than a sandwich...

    • Not a literal sandwich, but rather a metaphorical one.

      What i mean is that expecting more traditional gender roles is ok, but it goes both ways.

  • A man should always pay for all dates

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  • No, each pays their share always

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  • I am consistently appalled at the hypocrisy of women. They complain about equality and gender roles but then insist the guy should pay for dates. Look at all the females answers here thus far. Unreal.

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    • An you got a downvote for that lol...

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    • no, not at all.

    • OK, then you're not a hypocrite. It's the women who "say" they want equality AND to have men pay for dates who are hypocrites.

      You really should get informed on the pay thing. Your facts are very outdated. It's something I have studied pretty extensively and the facts show that women are not paid less than men when all factors are equal (education, hours worked, etc.). At least read the first few paragraphs of this link so you're not completely in the dark...

      winteryknight.wordpress.com/.../

What Girls Said 11

  • I don't think so. I think it depends on what you're doing. I don't think it's fair to say that if a guy doesn't pay for you it means he doesn't care about you? When did caring become about money?
    In this day and age where a girl can actually earn more than a guy how is it fair that he should pay when you're perfectly capable yourself?
    If a guy offers to pay for me ill offer to split if they insist upon paying i'll let them, but i'm perfectly ok with splitting it. I don't see how there's this big thing about a guy taking you out means he has to pay. Imagine if the date went badly? He then has to pay for your food and your shit company. How is that fair?

    I think if we want to live in a 'girls are equal to guys' world then we can't just expect a guy to pay. I earn £7.20 an hour whilst the guy i'm dating only earns £2.68 because he's an apprentice. How is it fair that i should expect him to pay fully whenever we go out on dates? Not would it mean we would go on less dates because he can't afford to pay for it all the time, but it's also not respectful to him. Why should i make him broke? Does that show i care? Is that what caring is for a girl?

    I don't think so. If a guy insists on paying then fine, but no way should a girl ever expect it. It doesn't mean they care about you more if they pay for you, it just means they have the money to spend. Measuring how much someone cares for you by whether they pay for you or not makes you just as bad as a gold digger.

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    • Beautiful answer.

    • Completely agree with what Chanelxoxc has said. Unfortunately, in our American society, we're taught otherwise. I'm sure there are women that share the same opinion that you do, but trust me when I tell you that when it comes to paying for a date, the majority of women in America could care less of she was making more than the guy. He'll be paying for that date no doubt and he'd better not even think about asking her if she could split the bill with him. It would be over if he did that.

  • YES! a man should treat a woman out and take her out and show her a nice time. if he isn't willing to do that then he really doesn't value ur time.

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  • I'm going to get a lot of shit for this, but I think the guy should pay for MOST dates. Not all but a good 3/4 of the time. Hate if you must but I like being taken out and he usually makes more money than me.

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    • I like the honesty:)

    • I've been in a relationship for 3 years and he still almost always pays. We both prefer it that way. I think he feels too embarrassed to let me pay if it's at a restaurant. If it's coffees or a movie I'll pitch. I think his pride gets in the way and I'm not complaining.

    • I'm with you here :)

  • Whoever asked out should pay for that date. Most of the time it is the guy who asks the girl out first, so that's why most of the time the guy will pay for the first date. I think they should alternate after that. It's only fair - no one person should be forced to pay for everything all the time.

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  • Yes! I think that if a guy pays for you it means he cares!
    but later on if you guys have been dating for a while then well just split it

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  • I think for the first date the guy should always pay, but after that, it all depends on the situation. If you guys are going out to a fancy dinner, or doing something romantic, i think its best the guy pays, it always seems more gentlemen like. But if its a casual date like mini golf or fast food, i think either of you could pay and it would be acceptable.
    Whatever works for your particular situation.

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  • How about everyone just splits the bill or pays for their share? Causes less confusion and frustration.

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  • Yes he should. I'm going to admit that I am kind of old fashioned when comes to this matter.

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  • I go by who asked out who and I've asked guys out. So, for example if a guy asks me out I think he should pay for the date then on a second date I'll pay. Third date him, fourth date me. etc etc

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  • I think you should split the bill. What happened to equality?

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  • He's the man

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