Unsure of relationship potential?

I've been seeing this guy (I'm 23 he just turned 32) for about 6 months now, and it started off as us just being friends and getting to know each other better. After about a month we did have sex and continue to do so (not every time we see each other). We've already told each other that we care about each other and have feelings for one another, and we talk on a daily basis with it being a pretty even 50/50 split as to who initiates contact. We see each other about 1-2 times a week because I work 40+ hours a week and his work schedule changes throughout the week (his weekend sometimes falls mid-week and he alternates between day and night shifts). He always makes time to see me at least once weekly (again, sex isn't always involved). We get along great and can have a good time doing anything or nothing at all and I don't doubt that he cares about me. He also makes jokes about me marrying him and moving in with him (he owns his own house), but I haven't met more than one of his friends yet and that was a while ago.

Problem is I'm not sure what we're doing and if I'm just some sort of booty call and I'm afraid of all the uncertainty. I'm not sure if I should just go with it and let things happen. Shortly after we slept together the first time I asked him what was going on with us, and he told me he had just gotten out of a relationship not long before he met me and wasn't ready for another one yet. At first I was fine with that because I'm still living home with family and don't want to deal with the drama of all of the usual new boyfriend/girlfriend questions and wasn't sure what I was looking for myself. But now that he and I have been doing this for a while and I know we have feelings for each other I'm afraid something isn't right because I keep hearing if he really wanted to be with me he would've gotten over his past relationship real quick. I can't tell if this is going to get stuck where it is and fizzle out or if there's a chance for progression?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It entirely depends on how his past relationship was, and how he handles it individually, as to when he will get over it.

    No one is going to be able to tell you if it will "fizzle out" or if it will keep going. In fact, no one can be certain of that at any point of your relationship. This doesn't change depending on what he says, on what you say, on what happens, on anything at all. Love can unexpectedly die. That's just something you are going to have to live with. "Can" doesn't mean "will", it just means there will always be that chance.

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    • Meant to + vote, sorry about that. Thank you for your opinion, I've never thought about it that way. I'm more of a science brain so thinking in terms of grey areas and not just black and white answers is probably why I have this question in the first place. Yours is an insightful opinion. Much appreciated.

    • That's fine. You are welcome, good luck.

What Guys Said 1

  • You're only 23 for pities sake. Just enjoy it. It doesn't have to be going anywhere.

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    • Good point. Not sure how I got stuck in the mindset it had to be something with a name.

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