How do people cope with dry spells?

Hi everyone. I've been single 8 months and only been on 1 date. I'm taking my chances with girls I'm attracted to and am not afraid of rejection but for whatever reason I'm struggling to get a date.
I've joined dating sites, go to the gym and meet new people everyday as part of my job. But for whatever reason girls are eithe already taken or not interested.
This is stripping my self esteem daily, as I've come to the realisation that it is incredibly hard to get a date. As a result when I do find someone I like there feels an added pressures get it right because if I don't then I'll be stuck waiting for ages to get another chance with a girl.
Post break up i convinced myself that my self worth wouldn't be related to whether I was in a relationship or not. However that was under the assumption that i would be dating regularly and at least have a shot of meeting someone. I'm struggling to enjoy being single when I have to accept that I might only get a date once or twice a year. I'm doing my best to accept it but it just seems wrong. Any advice on how to adapt to this?
Thanks


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Simply start taking each day as it comes. Meaning, don't put too much pressure on yourself and just have fun. Dating is supposed to be fun. Most people will sense you being high-strung which can be a turn off in some cases. And don't let the lack of dates get you down. I'm sure you'll find a date sooner or later, you just have to keep looking.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Sorry to hear that, but I understand completely. I haven't dated in 3 years. I was in an extremely long...relationship and don't really know how to go about letting guys know I'm interested. I would say just keep trying and don't be over eager when you do find someone.

    KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.

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    • Hi thanks for the answer, yeah re learning the rules is hard isn't it!

    • Yes it is. :-(
      I also think that I seem unapproachable; which sucks

  • Welcome to the club been the same for 7-8 months myself.

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  • What do you look like? What are you hobbies, if you have time for any?

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    • Hi thanks for the answer, I kickboxing, go to the gym and I'm go to the cinema and read a bit too. I'm tall athletic as far as look go I've been told I'm good looking although I doubt Ill be on any billboards soon lol

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    • That's a good idea, maybe I'll try yoga and join a book club

  • Not trying to be rude but: Deal with it. I've been in one for about 17 years.
    You'll survive, I'm sure.

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    • I was in your shoes once. I was single up until I was 18. You'll see just how much your opinion of what you just said will change once you are in his shoes. You are right, he will survive, but will he actually enjoy himself? Some people need others to be happy, others do not. Its just how people are.

  • Just masterbate and work on being the best you can be so that you are READY and open when you meet that awesome lady.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I enjoy working and focusing on goals. That sucks though man. I doubt this a personal thing though. You're probably just not meeting many people.

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  • I feel ya man. Accepting it is one of the hardest things to do. I try and just avoid thinking about it by playing sports and video games. But that doesn't work whenever I'm out in public. Whatever you find out works for you, you should definitely let me know. I could use this advice too. I like that you actually try for dates actively. It shows you are determined. Maybe one girl will surprise you and say yes!

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    • Thanks for the advice. Yeah I'm the same as you I generally keep preoccupied with Xbox DVDs ( game of thrones) and kickboxing but as soon as I'm in public places my situation kinda hits home. What helps is to keep telling myself that I'm doing everything I can and it's not my fault. I also remind myself that I've got a good life that's full of things I love doing. The most important thing I tell myself is that if I am going to meet someone it could happen at any time. It could be a cute girl that serves me coffee, someone introduced by a friend or maybe someone I meet through my job. I know I'll meet someone and I just think to myself yep it sucks now but it won't forever.

  • Its not too fun I know. I don't know what to tell you other than hang in there, it will get better.

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  • I feel ya man, I've been single and dateless for a little over a year. If you discover some way to make it not so horrible and lonely, let me know. lol...

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