Who should pay in a relationship?

In a relationship, who should pay for dinner/taking her out, her shopping expenses, vacations you go on together, and other bills?

The guy, or 50/50, or take turns paying?

In my opinion, the guy should pay for everything. To me it comes down to respect and chivalry, taking care of her. I was raised that way, but admittedly that's just my opinion.

What is yours?

  • The guy should pay for everything, including her shopping expenses and vacations
    0% (0)8% (1)4% (1)Vote
  • The guy should only pay when you go out for dinner or something similar
    40% (6)25% (3)33% (9)Vote
  • Always split the bill or take turns paying
    60% (9)67% (8)63% (17)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can understand why some people make think the guy should pay for dinner etc at the beginning of a relationship but paying for everything for life is not how I could live.

    My s.o take turns, kind of, informally I suppose we don't say it's your turn etc. I pay x bill he pays y bill. We'll go somewhere on a whim and either one of us could pay. Its like you've stated "taking her out", what about taking him out. We're together 12 years and at the end of the day its really all coming out of the same pot but I could never have him pay for everything, my shopping, hair etc even at the beginning I insisted on paying for dinner etc

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What Girls Said 16

  • Date: Whoever did the asking/whoever's idea it was.

    Ex. I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years now. If tomorrow I decide seeing a movie sounds like fun I intend to be paying for both of our tickets. If he decides after the movie that dinner is a good idea and takes me there, he will be paying for dinner. Make sense?

    My shopping expenses: First, I don't shop lol HATE it. But I have a job. I make money. If I find something I like I should be the one to buy it, no? Likewise if we're out and he sees something he wants he should be the one to buy it.

    Vacations: I would assume we'd split 50/50 on that one seeing as we're both going and the vacation destinations we like to visit are kind of expensive. Like...2 grand a piece :P

    I appreciate when he pays for me, of course, but I am fully capable of paying for myself lol. I always bring money along even if he's the one who did the asking.

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  • Im a firm believer in taking turns. I mean, when you first start dating its nice when the guy pays but after a while I feel like I'm taking advantage of him even if he insists on paying. Paying for an entire vacation I would feel so guilty and also sort of disrespected, like the guy doesn't think I can earn/save my own money for something. It also, like everyone has said, depends on how much you are earning individually, who can ACTUALLY pay for things more often.

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  • I voted C. It's the only sane option. A girl who expects you to pay for her food, drinks, shopping, or vacations has most likely gold-digger tendencies and is someone you want to run away from really, really fast. This isn't the 1940s anymore where a woman was dependent on her man's income.

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  • I always want to split the bill or take turns paying. I start feeling REALLY bad and stressed out if a guy constantly paid for everything. I hate not being able to pay for things, especially when they're my own things. I don't like feeling as if I'm using people (even though I'm not and they're just being nice to me). I always always always return the favor. Otherwise I'd start hyperventilating or something. I pretty much have an OCD when it comes to this.

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  • I don't understand option A. Why would a guy pay for shopping and vacations? I wish haha. I mean if the guy makes way more money and wanted to take me on a vacation, I suppose I would let him pay. But if I made way more money, I would pay for him.

    I voted C. I think that if it's a first date when they guy asked me out, he should pay. If I asked him out I can pay. If you're in a long-term relationship, I think it you should take turns. Splitting is too much trouble, but that's pretty much the same thing. That's what I've always done.

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  • When you just start dating I would say that they guy should pay, unless I of course ask him out. I usually offer to pay just to see what he says. I'm pretty old fashioned. Anyways once we are in a relationsship it's 50/50, my shopping expenses and so on is not something he has to pay for. I would do it like this he pays for his shopping I for mine, if it's something for booth of us then it's 50/50. So bills, vacations etc is something we have booth have to pay for. I like a protective man and so one who is willing to support me, but I don't want him to do it. Haha I know. Mind fucked.

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    • "I usually offer to pay just to see what he says."
      And when he refuses and wants to pay for you, it's a plus, and if he lets you pay, it's a minus? :-P

    • Yes, but that's only if we are dating (only 1 and 2 date). If we are in a relationsship (or going on more than 3 date) I don't want him to pay, then I would probably say: hey now it's my turn.

  • Both should contribute. I voted C.

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  • When I'm on a date the guy pays, hands down.If we go 50/50, I automatically exnay our time spent together as being considered a date.That's just how it goes!!

    I've never been in a position to say how I'd handle the guy paying for my shopping expenses and vacations spent with him, in all honesty.But I have allowed boys to get me books, and it made me so happy ^.^ Always!

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    • I agree with you that the guy should pay when on a date. Would you consider that as a rule only during courtship or does he also have to pay for dinner etc when you're well into a relationship?

    • Are you not still dating while in a relationship?:p Honestly, at that point, its all the more reason for the guy to pay.It shows some bil

    • Gah, didn't mean to send yet.Anyway, it shows that he's capable of providing on some level.Plus, when you spend so much on someone for so long it can show that you're pretty serious about them.I don't oboe know many people who just throw money away on girls for nothing...Gah can't back spa ce

  • We take turns with my boyfriends. We're not counting who's paying what. Though the next time we go to a nice restaurant, he wants to pay to make it romantic but, in the end, we both pay and it's normal :)

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  • They both should

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  • Guys should ALWAYS pay for the first date. ..especially if you asked her out. Like. DUH. But aftera while you both should ssplit the bill or alternate. Also depends on job status

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  • We take turns paying. But I don't think that it needs to be one certain way.

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  • Go dutch (he pays).
    Then after that, split the bill.

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  • I think it is nice if the guy chooses to pay for the girl but it is not mandatory. When he does pay for her, i think she should appreciate it and not take it for granted.

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    • Sounds great. So you'd be OK if the guy pays for everything, including your shopping and vacations? Because I have come across women who don't like that at all.

  • Definitely take turns! You obviously don't want a gold digger girlfriend!

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  • 50/50 it is just

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What Guys Said 7

  • The guy should pay, ya take turns, or split.

    Also I think anyone woman who expects the guy to pay isn't worth a grain of salt.

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  • 50/50 unless maybe one of us has significantly more money. Are you rich?

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  • How does few bucks make a difference? I think any of em can pay and can care less. Hell I pay for all my frats beer supply usually and I dont ask em for quids back aha:-p

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  • Alwayz pay for the food, sometimez pay for the shopping, vacation can be a split.

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  • Well, i like pay when i go out with a girl, but not for her shoping or... !

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  • I would only date girls who voted C.

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  • Definitely take turns! It's only fair for both parties to contribute equally to the relationship!

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