Not kissing after 4 dates cause him to lose interest?

I'm 22, he's 28. Been on 4dates, on dates 3&4 he tried to kiss me but I'm haven't gone with it yet. He asked if I'm shy, but it's more because I'm not ready. However, I'm alright with him kissing me on the cheek. At the end of Date 4 he kissed my cheek and hugged me goodbye. I pulled him close, whispered "I'm not shy. I'd just like to get to know you better first" and kissed him on the neck. Will not getting a proper kiss cause him to lose interest / get discouraged?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly probably yes.
    It is not like you need to be in "full makeout mode" with him. But I would expect a couple of goodnight kisses on the second date and if more dates happened then maybe a few throughout the date. it doesn't have to be super heavy, but a nice kiss. I don't know your past so maybe something traumatic happend. Because kissing really isn't a "I'm not ready" kinda thing. It is not "sex" but it is "sexual". But it is just kissing. Kissing is fun and can fill a lot of time.
    Again, never do anything you are not ready for. But you might want to reconsider dating until you can get past whatever hangups you have on kissing.

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What Guys Said 9

  • If you hadn't said anything i would be fine for sure. (Probably after third)

    There's a pretty high chance i would be gone anyway. It's not like I can't live without a kiss. It's just that i would be thinking you weren't remotely physically interested in me enough for what I want in a partner.

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    • He does know I'm interested bc I told him so. However as we've only known each other 1.5 months, I also told him I prefer to know someone better before actually falling for them.

      Doesn't getting to know someone for their person before getting to know what the inside of their mouth tastes like seem reasonable? XD

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    • What do you mean by 'if you hadn't said anything i would be fine for sure'

    • That was an autocorrect error. I meant *gone*

      Note I'm not trying to advise you on what you should do just saying how I'd react. There are some men who would probably view it as you having good self control etc. Depends for them - like me - what relationship baggage and experiences they are carrying.

  • It might. However, your telling him that you want to get to know him better first might go far in helping him to understand. I commend your honesty there.

    When you say you need to get to know him better, what exactly do you need to know? This isn't rhetorical or sarcastic, I'm really curious.

    By the way, a person's style of physical affection IS an attribute I would want to get to know before proceeding.

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    • We've known each other for 1.5 months, I think that's pretty brief. I'd prefer to know someone better before falling for them.

    • When I say I need to get to know him better, I mean in terms of his personality / character, spending more time together in person, understanding his likes / dislikes, establishing a proper friendship.

  • A neck kiss always gives me a ranging hard on. Most of my gfs said they got really wet from neck kisses. I'd always lip kiss before neck kissing, given the intimacy and sexual response. I don't get your reluctance for a traditional kiss, but that's your call if they make you uncomfortable.

    Don't neck kisses make you wet?

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  • Yes. After 4 dates and no kiss, I'd start wondering if she was just playing me and/or wasn't actually interested.

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  • it gets discouraging if you are really into someone, and as Lady Antebellum sings "just a kiss goodnight"

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  • Not going to lie I would start to get second thoughts and be less likely to want to go on more dates

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  • I admire the guy's patience. I would have moved on if there was no sex after the second.

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  • He will probably discourage him

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  • Yeah it will. He, like me, probably thinks you are the prudest woman alive.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Definitely yes

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  • It can but it depends. It's not like sex. It's good you respect yourself but some guys might just think you aren't into him if you won't even peck him.

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