Why do women reject me constantly?

I get dirty looks from girls, online rejection. . It feels like they don't see me as a man and I'm beyond depressed about it


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're just "approaching" online...

    I've heard that women who are considered "average" in looks get a LOT of emails from guys; many women get so many that it can be tough to sift through. Now, if you're going for above average women (as far as just looks goes), you're trying to compete against MORE men, many who are a bit "pervy."

    So if they don't answer, it's not on you. If they don't talk to you at all, it's not you. If they talk to you, and get to know you and THEN say no, then you could argue that it's that they are rejecting you.

    Sometimes online dating can be good. Sometimes it can kill a guy's confidence faster than a real life interaction (and "rejection").

    Not knowing you at all (I don't think I do, anyway), I can't give you much in the way of specific advice. However, the first bit of advice 1) Be interesting and fun in real life. Don't focus on just the women. This will help with confidence, and if not, you're still doing cool stuff that can make you forget about women (or not make them a huge focus) 2) Talk to women in real life as well as online.

    Good luck.

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    • Thank you

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    • But I already have friends. . I want a gf

    • You don't want to get what I'm saying... so I'll try to keep this short.

      The world doesn't owe you (or me) a babe because you're "nice" and have a job. Hollywood lies - Sorry. You won't always get great girls unless you're great yourself (sometimes it happens, but not very often).

      If you have a life outside of "women women women (or for some guys: "sex sex sex")!" then maybe more girls will come around; if you're working on living your life not for them then maybe they won't think you reek of desperation.

      I know I don't want to be "The end goal" for a woman, nor would I want to be their only reason for living. I don't want a desperate girl. I don't want to be a "place holder" a person who has everything planned and I'm the "flavor of the week." Maybe I'm wrong, but my opinion is that many healthy women might agree with that.

What Girls Said 5

  • Why do women reject me constantly?
    Possibly your looks, your personality, or compatibility issues (such as not wanting to date a guy your age as I find most 30s+ guys seek younger gals and many may not be receptive). For online rejections there's also the possible factor that you're pursuing gals much more attractive than yourself as there was an online dating survey OkCupid's Your Looks Your Inbox that showed 2/3 of guys go for 1/3 of the most attractive gals.

    "I get dirty looks from girls,"
    To me this suggests for those gals there may be something unappealing about your personality or approach.

    "It feels like they don't see me as a man and I'm beyond depressed about it"
    Likely they do see you as a man just not one they desire to be with and I don't see that as something to be depressed about as not every gal will want you. Perhaps not basing your self-esteem/worth on whether gals desire you may help with the depression

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  • Its probably all in your head, how you fthink of yourself shows on the outside on how you act and people wkll treat you accordig to it. Calm down

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    • but just because I feel bad about myself doesn't mean I'm a bad person it just means women don't like me

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    • Why would I want to be alone but wait I'll have my approval yay

    • www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrTk7BLFvsg

      Watch this video. This guy isn't that handsome to me yet id probley date him why? Look at what he has that you dont and do not say looks cuxpz if he was insecure he would look like a winey also look at how the girls react when he first arrived and near the end. Study it. Charm, charisma and confidence describes this guy to a tea

  • How are you approaching the women?
    Are you coming at them with conversation, or just saying hi... or what?

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    • I'm not approaching them cuz they don't want me to so when one gets near I lower my head

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    • I posted that in the wrong thread. Please just ignore it.

    • I've noticed some girls will reject you b4 u even approach them, but just try and deal with it 4 now

What Guys Said 19

  • Don't judge your character by the opinions of people on online dating. When people go online to find dates, they tend to be very superficial. They treat the users like objects in a magazine instead of a real human beings. Couple this with the impersonal atmosphere and you have a lot of stuck-up people who will only respond to their idealized match.

    I can't tell you not to feel insecure because we all have something we don't like about ourselves. You should, however, learn to accept what you have in life. This may not change your appearance but it'll change how you feel in general.

    Keep your appearance as clean as you can get it, keep up with the latest fashion and talk to as many women as possible. You WILL eventually find someone who likes you.

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  • You can't simultaneously complain they don't see you as a man while refusing to work on getting in shape or 'conforming' to things that would seem masculine.

    You want them to see the real you and appreciate you as something special? Maybe they are.

    That doesn't make them want to have sex with you though. They want to have sex with someone who conforms to their ideal of masculinity.

    If you want that then you need to do something about it.

    If your body isn't part of who you are then why not make it pleasing to potential partners? If it is part of who you are then don't complain about being judged on it.

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  • Man, I can completely turn your online dating game around. I wish I had more space to write. But it sounds like two me there are two things you need to work on 1. inner confidence. and 2. the way you approach a woman. Those two things would in and of itself take a year or two to develop but I can help you get started if you message me and are looking for great advice or even an online profile analysis. Best of luck to you my friend. Your pal baddy2shoos. Done.

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    • Thank you.. I don't have 2 years

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    • @ b addy2shoes I just saw the video you sent me, first off how could an introvert like me go to that way over the top? Another thingthe way he was talking to those women what's her Was harrasment

    • another thing I forgot to mention to it was fake confidence because the guy was having fun doing it and he already knew he already new he was thin

  • I think you know the routine. It's up to you to change it.

    www.amazon.com/.../191-0711096-4864916

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    • how do you know those women Weren't actresses.. he looked like he was 12

    • They may be actresses. He may have paid them a lot of money. He may get laid by all of them. The earth may collide with pluto. We can suspect what it may be for a long time.

      But I can guarantee that if you do nothing, you won't get any results you want. It doesn't matter how many times you make this thread the results will be the same. You'll get nowhere and feel sorry for yourself. The choice is yours.

  • the problem is that you're doing online dating, people can act like @ssholes and batches here *coughs wildly* anyways, stop doing online dating and get ur ass in the real world to those night clubs... and if they piss u off, make sure u piss em off and flash em ur penis at them

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  • been there, done that, still in the same boat. It sucks. once you reach a certain age, it stings more

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    • I've had a fiance before even though it was through online dating but I don't know why I can't approach in person. I just freak out

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    • think what you want. Im giving you references to work with!

    • give me one of your examples, experiences

  • I don't know y just look for more girls, nicer girls would help. for some reason a number of girls seem to be like this, but there is a number of nice girls to

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  • How would you typically approach a woman?

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    • I don't know I never have except for online

  • online dating is puke awful for most men, so forget that.

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    • The vainist women on the planet

  • Because you do not try.

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    • And give them the pleasure to hurt me

    • 1. Those women do not get 'pleasure' from hurting you.
      2. That is like an unemployed person not looking for a job, because he just gave up.

  • Fat? Skinny? Skinnyfat? Short? There are a lot of possible reasons.

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  • I know how you feel. Women and girls take one look at me, and they would rather take a rusty spike and jam it in their eyes then look at me. Some guys have all the luck especially with women that's why p*rn was invented.

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    • Believe me port is not like the real thing

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    • Very true.. it's sickening

    • Glad you agreed.

  • Just get a tattoo on your bicep. Girls will automatically want to hook up with you because they are obsessed with tats. Get something that is both artsy and masculine in a very stereotypical way.

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    • I don't conform. .

    • You are rejected because you don't conform.

      Women value social status more than men do. We want someone that's hot, they want someone who looks like they're part of an easily identifiable pack or even better the leader of one.

  • I think the better question is why do you care? Or what else could I be doing with my life? Or what can I do to make myself a happier person on my own? In short build some self-esteem. Tip number one always remember eventually everything changes

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    • I'd be happier with a gf

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    • I had a girlfriend before and there was nothing like it, the companionship, sharing your life with them

    • Well good for you. But she's gone now. So cry it out and try to keep pushing that's all you can do. You're a human being and sometimes shitty things happen to us but you're not a victim. At least not anymore. Right now the only person treating you badly is yourself. The world's not here to treat you kindly. The world isn't all great and wonderful but unless you stop focusing on the bad things and start to learn how to appreciate all that you do have you're not going to change anything. I'm not going to sit here and stroke your ego and tell you everything's going to be okay. It's your life so take responsibility for it. Start being happy. Start being proud. Start being you and if you don't know how go learn. You have the Internet at your fingertips use it. Something tells me your own of those people who keeps complaining until people get fed up with dealing with you then you complain about that when they do. Don't be that guy. No one wants to help someone that refuse to help themself

  • Maybe you are rejecting yourself and they see that. Try to stop finding faults in you and others. Try to focus on the well being of yourself and others daily instead of looking at what is missing. I want a million dollars but if I always feel less for not having it, I will suffer and it will cause others to see my unease which causes them unease. Direct your intent towards love, kindness and compassion and the world will appear much more accepting.

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    • They reject me by their dirty looks or they act like they are looking at their cell phone

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    • What does that mean confidence in yourself? I hear that a lot

    • Be aware of when you are thinking judgements of yourself or others. Give compassion to yourself. Allow yourself to be imperfectly you. Once those negative self thoughts lessen, you mood will brighten. Smile at people throughout your day and catch the smiles you get back as a complement and the ones that don't smile back have understanding they might be feeling like you did.

  • Online dating is crap, but as for in person, just be unusually happy and cheery and if women REALLY DO give you dirty looks everywhere you go, then move the hell away from where your at.

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    • Then they win

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    • Anyways I think he was asking their numbers to fast

    • He totally was, also it was bull cuz he looked 12

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