Does he think of me as his gf?

I'm very confused as to what kind of relationship I have with this guy. I was just rereading my previous texts and he said he's not looking for just a piece of ass, but a relationship. The first night we met we had sex but we both had talked about it and wanted it and so I just assumed it was a friends with benefits relationship but after the past few days I'm not so sure. I've spent the last 4 nights at his place and last night he left the door unlocked for me and set out a towel so I could shower and he was telling me about some online stuff he spends doing Saturdays and that he wants to show it to me. Almost every night he cuddles up next to me and puts his arm around me, it's usually in the middle of the night so he thinks I'm sleeping but I know. I love spending time with him and listening to his stories and just hanging out with him, it's like when I'm there nothing matters but being with him and spending time with him. I never even think about anything and after I leave I realize how happy I am with him but I don't want to get hurt so I've been preventing myself from opening up to him because I don't wanna get hurt again but I want to spend all my time with him now and I'm trying to fight it but should I just give in and open up to him more and see where it goes.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If he has not officially told you that you are his girlfriend and he is exclusively your man, then you are not his girlfriend. Bottom line. Don't trick yourself into believing you're his girl if he hasn't vocally, blatantly agreed to that because that's how women get themselves into the whole "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" theory.

    Personally, I believe it's in the best interest of women all over the world to exclusively reserve certain behavior for boyfriends and BOYFRIENDS ONLY. This diffuses painful disappointment and feeling like you've been taken advantage of if a guy basically tells you that you're not a girlfriend candidate for him. This just seems like the wiser way to go. Choosing the other route is where you have played a helpful hand in putting yourself in a situation where you do get hurt and used. You have to be realistic about that group of guys who don't want the responsibility of being someone's boyfriend nor do they want to make actual sacrifices, yet they still appreciate what the role of a girlfriend can bring to them. They want the sex and the cuddling and the cutesy little side-actions but they don't want commitment and if YOU do, that's where you get inevitbly hurt. So they may not be scheming to take advantage but that's essentially what they are doing. They're not all that interested in who you are as a girlfriend, yet they want to enjoy the perks that you are ready and willing to give away. So unless a guy actually makes it clear that you two are exclusive and you are his girlfriend, you are fair game for falling into that messy situation.

    What to do now? Open up to him about how you feel and see if he's interested in progressing into something more : ) Good luck!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yea sounds like he cares for you a lot and it sounds like you two have a good thing going! You want to spend all your time with him and it seems as if he tries to squeeze all he can out of every minute with you :) going to sound cliche but you should follow what your heart is telling you. If your really like this guy, then according to his actions you've described here, it sounds like he likes you and is trying to prove it so I'd say it's worth a shot :)

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What Girls Said 3

  • yes open up to him you mean more to him then just some girl he really likes you this might lead up to something quick but might end resulting to something that makes you happy i see you guys moving in with each other and possibly having a life together go for it

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  • sounds like he's pretty serious about you, but maybe unsure where you stand, I say talk it out :)

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    • Should I open up more to him and be passionate sorta toward him, like hold his hand more and kiss him more etc this types of things.

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    • I'm going to try it, this is all new for me and I don't want to mess this up because I really like him. I mean ill do little things like I offered to help him carry his groceries in, help make dinner the two times he made it, last night I made the bed while he showered so we could get right to sleep but it seems I should do more.

    • Just take it one day at a time, but make sure communication is involved. people can easily get misled in a situation with lack of communication. and by communicate i mean also to approach the situation, when you feel the right time is.

  • Never surrender yourself to anyone completely.. that will always lead to disaster. Trust me.

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