Is it bad to ask her to go dutch from time to time?

I'm together with my first girlfriend ever for four months now so even though I'm 23 I'm not really used to the etiquette in dating.

I'm not poor and I try to be good with my money and I also have taken jobs beside school but our frequent date nights and gifts for her have been kind of draining my savings.

I don't want to be cheap but it's kinda getting hard for me to pay for us, do you think I could ask her to get her half sometimes. How would I do that?

I'm a bit scared :) because she's been telling girls about how much she likes being spoiled by me. My problem is though to be able to afford this I would have to take another job and consequently would have no time for her.

Thanks for helping out!!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hahaha Of course it is okay to ask her this! Don't ask, one day just say -"Hey, hun, could you pay for this?" pointing to the two coffees or something...
    It should become normal for you two to sometimes pay - sometimes you should pay, sometimes she should... It's not fair that it should always be you!

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What Girls Said 3

  • If you have to take another job just to spoil your girlfriend, that's not good. Does she have her own job? If she does, only pay for when you two go on dates, nothing more, nothing less. You don't need to buy her so many gifts and if that's what she expected when she met you, then you should really evaluate your relationship with her. It's good to be frugal with your money, but you don't need to support her and her expenses.

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  • First- most girls like when guys make home cooked meals. Stop taking her out so much. 4 months isn't long, so stop buying her gifts. Save gifts for birthday, holidays and crap like that

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  • Tell her that you need to save more money and would like to go dutch next time.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It's hard to keep going out with someone you aren't completely comfortable with. Of course you need to be civil and be good/polite with her. But don't take it to a level where you have to 'pretend' to be someone or as a kind of person you are not. It is costing you a lot, and I'm not just talking about money.

    If you are having problems with a certain aspect of your relationship, the natural way is to talk it over together. If she then changes her point of view towards you over something so trivial, then that means she's in this relationship with you for the WRONG reasons.

    Also, you need humor in your way of communication. It is not good that you find yourself always so stiff and unrelaxed with her. Try to joke around a little bit. Because this would not be a problem in the first place if you guys are at a much level playing field.

    Remember, your date is not your boss. Relationships happen when both of you cross the bridge and meet halfway.

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  • Damn, dude. You're eating through your savings just to show this girl a good time?

    You're going to have to cut back on that considerably. Better to do it right now rather than later once you're broke.

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  • It is right and proper for a well-brought up girl to insist on going dutch.

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