Should I go meet this guy I met online, in person?

I met a guy online from another country. He's real and we video chat and know plenty of personal info. He's very open with me. If anything, I've kept a few things private just because I feel more comfortable that way. Like I know his address but I haven't given out mine.

Anyway. I don't think we would be good for eachother because I think he's hung up on an ex, and he's got terrible work ethic. Also he sort of relies on me in a way that says I may not be able to emotionally rely on him if need be. He's kinda dropped the ball there.

But I think it would be fun because we absolutely click. We talk for hours and hours. He's told me he has feelings for me. We are openly attracted to eachother. We are so similar in lots of ways.

I don't have the money to see him at the moment (well technically I do, but I should have more in savings first)

I really want to just get together and have a date or something. We have talked about this. But it sort of seems crazy, money wise and the fact that I see red flags. He has even said he's not ready for a relationship anyway. I'm not looking for one. I wouldn't "hook up" with him, maybe just a kiss. That is how I am, so there's no danger of sex or anything.

Just seems sort of silly, lot of money and effort to sort of satisfy a need of him. I want to meet him.

He also tries to get me on the wagon to go over there rather than he come here. He knows out of the two of us that I have the money. He probably wants to satisfy the same craving but have me do all the work.

So I'm really not sure. What would you do? We have been in daily contact for a year now.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't date anyone online that wasn't local or within 30-45minutes tops from me. It's seriously a risk and the chances of it going anywhere are so slim. Some people have some crazy stories but there's so many more cases of stand ups, it just being a hook up, and so on. Plus he's "not ready" for a relationship and hung up on his ex. You could end up throwing money out the window for a date of him doing nothing but talking about his ex. Plus, you're expected to do all this spending to see him and say you don't see any effort on his part. It sounds lazy.

    If you're looking for more, it's definitely not him.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You did not provide enough info. Given what you have said and described I would say don't go.

    Women do not have rights in all countries and the reputation of many American women abroad is similar to the men on sex vacations.

    What you are thinking and what he is thinking is 2 different things. If anything he needs to come here and the reason is if he needs a visa and can qualify you can feel safer. If he is from a wealthier or reciprocity country you may have a problem if he has diplomatic statute stay away.

    Learn the rules before you play.

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  • Well it sounds like you have already decided he isn't for you so why string him along just tell him it would not work. plus it isn't financial feasible just to scratch a itch

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What Girls Said 4

  • In another country? I saw human trafficking movie and sure other people have. Be sure to take a few friends, don't go anywhere with this guy unless they're with you, know how to defend yourself and let others know where you're at all times.

    If you have red flags and your gut tells you no. Don't do it or give you more time to think about it. Sounds like he's both thirsty and probably looking for a type of friend to curve his thirstiness.

    I've had similar situations but guys that wanted to be more than friends and gents about the situation. They all made a point that if I was ready they'd come see me first. Which it makes sense bc I think men can defend themselves a little better and women aren't generally out to abduct them in cases.

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  • Since there's already some red flags now, things won't get better later on down the road. Since the two of you have urges, I would reconsider spending a lot of money to go and see him and wait longer. If he starts acting inpatient, forget him.

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  • thats a tough one. I say wait a couple more months and if its ready to happen, it will.

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  • If it were me, I wouldn't waste money on such a huge trip when I don't even know the guy THAT well and have red flags about him.

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