How do you feel about online dating?

A friend just pointed out that all my long term relationships have been with girls I met in person. Considering all the time I've also spent doing the online thing, none of those dating situations have lasted longer than a couple months. It was a very powerful observation and may have changed how I feel about meeting girls that way. What are your experiences with online dating? What are your feelings about it in general? I'm curious about both guys' and girls' perspectives!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I tried online dating for a while.
    It's just another way to meet people, no different than meeting them in a bar or club, or at the store. You talk, you connect, you make date plans... on and on.
    I found dates and relationships with online dating. Yes, I'm single now, but that's not because I met those guys online, haha!

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    • That makes sense, and it's how I viewed online dating prior to what my friend mentioned. I can meet just as many people in person with issues as I can online, haha! Maybe quitting cold turkey isn't a good idea, but I wonder why I've had such better luck in person?

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    • What's interesting is you and I have opposite views on how initial attraction works online. Let's be honest...the first thing people look at is your photo (s). Your personality is showcased only by your writing. In person they get more of a "total package" version of you and your overall demeanor. Some people photograph better than others, and some simply post unrepresentative photos. But if you're naturally more shy I certainly understand why it's easier to put yourself out there online.

    • I agree with you there... but what I mean is that, without putting myself on the line with that particular person, they can see what I look like and learn a little about who I am and what I like... just by visiting a profile online, BEFORE even exchanging the hello.
      In person, ALL they know is what I look like BEFORE the hello. They know nothing about what I may be interested in, what kind of personality I have, etc.

      Yes @doctorwhofan23, shy people tend to feel more comfortable with online dating, depending on the person, of course.

What Girls Said 13

  • Honestly...I've dated only girls I met online for the last 4 years or so. So, it's been a while since I met a girl in person. :O But where I have met girls hasn't really had any bearing on how long the relationships last.
    Online dating really lets you work around your schedule on when you "scout" and you can immediately weed out girls that you know you wouldn't like. Unlike meeting in person, you get a chance to quickly judge on a slightly deeper level (depending on how much info they provide on their profile). Overall, I think online dating can be a great thing. But some people love it, some people hate it.

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  • I met my ex online and we met in person after a year of online dating I guess and we were together for 3. At one point I thought I wanted to marry him, but I think it's definitely possible to meet a really great person online. However, I wouldn't go back to it. Too much drama, too much missing someone that you can't physically be with, and you don't realize how powerful a hug and kiss from you significant other can be until you know what it's like to go from having them around all the time, to not at all. Unless you are 100% positive that this is the person you want to live the rest of your life with, it's not worth it at all. I love love love that my boyfriend now lives less than 10 minutes from me, and I can go over and kiss him whenever I like. It's a great feeling, and it's so much better than loving someone on the other side of the country.

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    • Wow...yeah, that sounds like a very frustrating situation. I'm glad you're in a better relationship now! By choice I've only pursued girls online who live near me. Just as you experienced, distance is too difficult to overcome most of the time. I just wouldn't want to go through that.

    • It's a really frustrating and heart aching situation. Missing someone like that all the time is not healthy. I wouldn't advise someone not to do it though because the heart goes where it wills and you can't help that ya know? So yeah, everyone is different. But distance just wasn't for me.

    • I can only imagine. I've only been in one long-distance relationship, and it was with someone I already knew, not anyone I met online. She was an incredible person, but I couldn't do it again. It's just not realistic unless one person is able to move and eliminate the distance.

  • I tried it and it was a gongshow. I will never bother with it again. Online dating is a total scam. My take is this: you can meet people online, you can find them attractive online, you can realize you have shared interests with them online, you can discover that you like chatting with them online, but you can't figure out if you have any chemistry with them online. That magical spark. That je ne sais quoi. The way they smell, the way they move, they way they look into your eyes that makes your mouth dry and your knees weak, etc, etc. Whatever part of our brains that evolved to help us select a mate needs to function in reality. In real life you wouldn't even bother with someone who you don't have any chemistry with, no matter how stimulating the conversation, no matter how attractive, no matter how many things you have in common. And let's face it, we have no chemistry with most of the world, online or real. In real life your brain automatically passes over and rejects all the people who don't spark for you. When you meet someone in real life, the chemistry is fairly instantaneous and the other things come later as the relationship progresses. Not saying you can't meet someone online and happen to find you have chemistry with them. But you usually start building a personal connection with them first, and then meet them (and usually discover chemistry is absent). So why waste the time and the heartache cultivating a relationship with someone you (chances are) have no chemistry with? No chemistry? No relationship. End of story.

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  • I met a handful of good people and a ton of jerks but it was worth it cause the good people I met were really good.

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  • It all depends on the site and how you screen the users. You have to weed them well before meeting in rl.

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  • Well! with me, i do not do online dating at all hah that's like my rule! and if i do, it somehow feels un-real or like its just "playing around" and not actually meaning it to be real. ya know? haha. I know it's weird but i feel like that talking through online chats is a great way to meet people, and you are being yourself and expressing and feeling comfortable talking through the internet, Hey i feel way more comfortable and my self through the web, because in person im shy, quiet and insecure. So, you can date online if you want but the best way for me is meeting people in person. :D

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  • It's terrible

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  • I hate online dating with a passion.

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  • I think it is convenient for a lot of people.

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    • Convenience is a definite positive, as is casting a wider net than you otherwise could in everyday life.

  • I'm doing it at the moment and with the distance.. Its not so easy. But you don't have to touch someone to know that you love them. Of course it depends on if you are able to survive no sex for a little while XD

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  • I have met a lot of different guys online. I've never dated anyone (I'm in my mid teens) but I have had "things" with some guys I met online. I have nothing against it and as long as you can be open with them, and stick with them, deal with long distance if it's necessary, and definitely remember not to hook up with any other people. Sorry if I didn't help. Goodluck!

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  • It's not for me and I've tried it.

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  • I've been with someone for two years that i met online, and I have a friend who is engaged to someone she met online three years ago, both the same website!

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    • That's great to hear and definitely restores a little hope for me! Dating is a process, and most won't be right. Maybe I just need to be more patient, haha.

    • i think so, I think it's worth it. More and more people are dating online and it's becoming pretty normal, so more normal people are attracted to it:)

What Guys Said 5

  • to me dating sites are a sausage fest, where girls are generally pissed off by blunt sex offers, while gys who are looking for a relationship are ignored.

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  • It's never worked for me.

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  • i have no problem with it.

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  • I liked it. I met my wife online. 4 years married and going strong.

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    • That's awesome! Hearing these stories definitely helps. I think I just need to keep at it.

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