I'm 24, female, forever alone, what do I say when people ask me about my 'ex-s'?

Hi all,

I'm 24, female, virgin, forever alone and it seems like it might stay that way till I kick the bucket. What is more disturbing to me is that I don't even want to meet guys because I have this strong mindset that guys are mostly taken, gay or single for a good reason.

Some background: Went to an all girls school environment till 16, didn't interact with guys much until I entered college. I used to be really socially awkward (much better these days) and so I didn't make much friends till the past few years. I've had guys who liked me but they were way too young (>4 years age difference) and I felt it was just because they thought I would be easy to catch.

I've been burned very badly by one guy friend. He did the "we are more than friends but...", citing that I was too fat and not pretty enough so he would never hold my hand in public. That was a huge blow to my self esteem. This guy was a complete player, different girl every other week, and I was the 'pal' who hung out before I got too close. Thanks to that, I can spot dating trick wayyy in advance, and it just makes me laugh cynically (i.e. the younger boys). I have a few other close male friends but I'm always the 'bro' since I like football and video games. Among the girls, I have a really pretty good friend and I would be the one that walks to the side whenever a guy comes to ask for her number, which happens pretty often.

So I am currently in the process of losing weight because I've been told that I'm pretty and I would like to look my optimum before my looks fade in my late 20s. The crazy thing is that boys are nowhere in my consideration and I don't even feel like going on Tinder because I simply do not care. I'm not sure if this is a good development or will I become less jaded one day. I'm actually kind of embarrassed that I'm forever alone and a virgin and it's reaching the point where I meet new people, they ask me how many ex-s I had and I don't know how to respond. Any tips?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Lose the weight because you want to be happy and it makes you feel better. Look for someone that fits you well because it makes you happy and you want to have a happy life. And well know what you want to give you a happy life. For most its a best friend so go about things that way. Look for a friend and don't look at them as a potential marriage mate because I lost my virginity at 23. I was wanting to wait and marry the right person and well its hard to do. Relationships have to have friendship so look for that first and relax and improve your health because that draws us in. Its a good personality that seals the deal. Dont let em push you around but look for someone that actually has your and their interests together for a happy future or experience. Remember being overweight lets you and them down. And they can let you down by not being thankful to have a friend that would actually enjoy them for the right reasons.. If it gets serious keep them with love making and passion but its all about your personality and you not being miserable to be around. Dont carry chips on your shoulder they dont suit you. Instead if they seem to be too insecure to appreciate you talk to them and see how they develop. Anything else just ask.

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    • Thanks for the advice! I used to be a real pushover (see male friend described above), which another male friend coined the fat girl syndrome (pretty girls can be bitches but fat girls have to be nice). It is indeed about what type of partner would be good for you which I'm still in the process of finding out!

What Guys Said 9

  • I am sorry, but you're intelligence level is too high. Please take a number and get in line for old maid certification.

    As to the ex-'s thing, the best response is "Its none of your business."

    I might add, that it is *actually* not their business. Nosey bastards.

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    • Hahaha! Yes, I will join the legions of old maids with tons of godchildren. It's usually girls who ask questions like these and the real answer gets me looks of pity. Oh well. I will have 10 cats and be the cat lady of the neighbourhood.

    • Don't be so hard on yourself :)

  • Q: How many exs?
    A: I will NEVER tell - it's just too embarrassing; maybe someday to my husband, who HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW

    Face-face dating during a weight loss always works best; on line masks and players too many

    I need to lose this belly, as well.

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  • Stay patient. Most guys want fit girls, and soon you'll find yourself getting hit on frequently, for whatever it's worth!

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  • GUY: "Tell me about your ex's."

    YOU: "Experience has taught me never to talk about past relationships. Besides, it's not very classy."

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  • Dont rush things you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, and the best thing is your only 20

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  • We'll I personally give good advice but I don't listen to my self because I'm too scared lol but I think u should step up and ask ummm take a morning jog eat a fruit every day but I'm just scared to ask if someone is single or not

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    • Haha the thing is that it's usually other girls who ask and then I get the dreaded look of sympathy

    • Oh then try to get his attention but dont look so creepy with a huge smile just do what you do best that kind of came out wrong lol

  • are you implying you have never had a boyfriend either?

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  • I actually read this whole thing. I have no tips, just wanted to tell u I read this whole thing

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  • I am quite similar like you. Only gender difference.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Hey, I feel bad for you. It would be hard having a pretty friend always get numbers and feel like you're constantly being played by boys. I felt like this with some of my friends, and every guy I dated seemed to not want a serious relationship, which was hurtful and I was sick of the lack of commitment and being played. So I went online, dated some weirdos until I finally found a really great guy. You might need to go looking, but yes, a lot of guys are single for a reason, but others aren't, they're waiting for a lady like you, hopefully! Also, working out will be good for your self esteem, will make you better looking and definitely help. Good idea.

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    • Thanks so much! I find that working out does boost my self esteem and mood, if only i can just drag myself to the dastardly gym!

    • Haha, yeah it's hard:) I just go running and sometimes work out in my room. I'm too lazy to go to the gym and don't know what I'd do there to be honest!

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