Pretty girl ignored by a guy, why?

I'm a waitress at a cafe & there is this one regular who comes in who I have a crush on I haven't spoken to him before because he just gets a coffee to go so the barista serves him

I have a crush because he is so good looking & I overhear him chatting to the barista & he's so nice and talkative (as a waitress I always appreciate it when people are so lovely to serving staff and considering our barista is in the beginning stages of learning English , it just seems like an extra nice thing to do. It seems like he goes out of his way to be lovely)

I'm a very pretty girl, tall, blonde, slim, buxom, big blue eyes & bee stung lips. I don't mean this in an arrogant way, I understand & agree looks are subjective.I'm just trying to give u honest details because I am hoping for an honest, helpful answer

It feels like this guy INTENTIONALLY avoids eye contact with me. Which seems strange because he's so sweet to our barista & as a waitress, it's a part of the job to be warm and friendly towards customers. I hope this doesn't sound too narcissistic but it's a small cafe and he has definitely seen me, why is he avoiding eye contact & not smiling?

I have theorised a couple of possible answers

He has a girlfriend or isn't interested for whatever reason so doesn't want to give me the wrong idea But this seems unlikely since he is so kind to the other wait staff
He's awkward/shy & avoids eye contact because of that

Do u guys have any other ideas? The more details the better, help!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because he's always just ordered coffee he's never had a reason to talk to you? Maybe he only gives attention to people he talks to so if he ever came in to be served he'd talk to you if you were his waitress

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    • I think that's a good point. It would be really difficult for him to strike up conversation since he orders his coffee around ten feet from where I work. Maybe I'll just be near the barista next time he comes in

    • Yeah...that's what I was going to suggest...or talk the barista into letting you wait on him next time he comes in

What Guys Said 3

  • He just doesn't like you. Maybe he heard something. Maybe he has a connection to you that you are unaware of. Maybe he just doesn't like you for no apparent reason.

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  • He may think your looks have corrupted you and he has moved past that and finds it annoying. If he's happy he is probably happy with someone else. Move on and leave him be. Otherwise if he is not happy then well go from there. Dont be a homewrecker is all im saying.. Otherwise he's playing you and will hop in and have fun with you and leave you. PLAYA PLAYA!!!

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  • you're the conventional hot, but not necessarily "hot"

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    • OK. But based on the other things I've said do you think he is definitely not interested or is interested but is just avoiding eye contact for a reason I'm not aware of?

    • dk, i dk him

What Girls Said 6

  • You should know by now that not all people see others in the same way. What you call pretty, he may call average or plastic barbie-ish... Maybe you're just not his type and he obviously sees that you want him to pay attentions to you (because girls like you really can't stand it when someone doesn't pay attention to them), and he doesn't want to 'play your little games'...

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    • I don't think I'm playing any games. I wanted to get to know him but wasn't sure how, since eye contact is usually the very first thing people who are attracted to one another do.

      I do understand that looks are subjective, I believe I put that in my question.

      This answer is very spiteful and condescending. I'm not sure what I've done to offend you but you managed to blatantly insult a stranger several times in your answer.

      All I was wondering is if I have a shot with this guy or if I should take this as a sign that he is not interested.

    • Well, if he hasn't spotted you yet and/or given any sign he might think you're the least bit interesting, I doubt you have a shot there.

  • Maybe scared to converse with you...like females males are terrified of rejection too...wpuldnt do his ego good if you ignored him...maybe its you that has to get to know him...

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  • just because you think your pretty doesn't mean other people do

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    • I agree with you and actually put that in the question. For the sake of the question though, lets assume he does think I'm attractive (I know it is a very real possibility that he doesn't find me attractive). Why would he be doing this?

    • maybe he likes someone else.. or is in a relationship already.. or maybe he's gay.. or maybe he's just not interested in anyone there

  • Don't take it too personally, you could remind him of someone he really does not like for all you know. And if he is just not one to show interest, then that is no fun in a relationship anyway!

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  • Maybe he just doesn't think your that attractive no offense

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    • I agree with you and actually put that in the question. For the sake of the question though, lets assume he does think I'm attractive (I know it is a very real possibility that he doesn't find me attractive). Why would he be doing this?

    • He's shy and thinks you would reject him because he thinks you're attractive and have better options.

  • Maybe he likes brunettes.

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