How can an ugly guy get a girlfriend?

It is natural to want your other half and to experience that kind of love that they can provide but for ugly guys like me it is pretty much impossible. I feel that if you are not hot, have money or outgoing or adventures you may as well just give up right now and not even bother trying. I have only been with a girl for four weeks and I am 31. :( How much of a looser am I. Please no mean answer I am only trying to be honest to get honest advice.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Lots of ugly guys do just fine with women. How do they do it? By accepting that there's only so much they can do about their appearance, and focusing their energies on things they CAN change and improve.

    Girls are attracted to CONFIDENCE and to success and strength (physical, emotional, managerial, etc.). Your looks don't prevent you from being or having those attributes.

    Do you have a talent? If so, develop it, and be proud of it, and sooner or later, other people will be too. Find leadership positions and do well at them (read books about leadership, and learn the techniques).

    If you are a good, confident leader, at work or at your hobby/sport/pastime, or are just confident and can make people laugh, feel relaxed, and have fun, then most girls will forgive your looks.

    Sitting in the corner of the room, being afraid to talk to anyone, isn't going to get you anywhere. You have to learn to take the initiative: keep a smile on your face, laugh out loud, and "include" people in YOUR good time, and soon people will want you around, and you'll gain popularity and friends.

    It's really easy to make excuses and to talk yourself out of approaching girls, but most guys who are good with girls have approached a TON of them, and most of the time, got shot down. The reason they're good is because they DIDN'T CARE about the rejections - only about the successes. And by gaining so much experience, they greatly improved their rate of success, just like a baseball player who has to go to batting practice a bunch before he learns how to hit a Major League slider or curveball. If you never practice, how can you expect to perform well in the big game, when it really counts?

    If you are too embarrassed to "practice" talking to girls on your "home turf", then get in your car, drive a few towns away, and talk to girls there, until you've done it SO MUCH that rejection doesn't bother you anymore. By then, you'll have learned a TON, and will have some game.

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What Girls Said 6

  • "Attractive" and "ugly" are subjective terms and like the other opinion said all we have is your own word that you're "ugly" or a "*loser"...
    Point being you get what you give into this world... if you've given up already and have a pessimistic attitude about it, that's not going to attract people romantically or otherwise.

    So like I said what is attractive is subjective. Something I may find attractive could be completely repulsive to another girl. Not all women care about money but I'm sure most like someone with some ambition and goals for their life... of course being outgoing or a personable person is attractive. Its more difficult to get to know who you are if you don't put yourself out there. If you're too closed off that can be off putting because it may come across as lack of interest.

    There are just too many things to it for it to be summed up in a short answer. You just need to focus on your good qualities and start putting yourself out there more. Like the other opinion said, maybe branch out of normal. Give a chance to girls you wouldn't normally go after. If it doesn't work out realize that she's one in millions of other women in this world.

    If YOU are unhappy with anything about YOURSELF, be the change you want to be in your life. Change what's in your control and accept what isn't. That's all anyone and everyone can do.

    I personally think there are good qualities in everyone and I also think most men have an easier time finding an accepting woman than the other way around. Obviously everyone needs to be attracted but what they like varies and obviously men are much more visual creatures.

    TL;DR
    Don't give up.

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    • Thanks for you help. Don't think it's easier for me than it is for girls tho. I am 31 and only ever been with a girl for four weeks.

  • Since you're anonymous and have no picture, I can only take your word on this and assume what you say is true. If you are "ugly", there are plenty of "ugly" girls in the world too that are looking for love. Or simply girls similar to you in attractiveness. If you don't want these girls, then maybe you can understand why an average/above average girl wouldn't want you?

    The best you can do is take what you can get, or work on your looks. Anyone can be attractive with work.

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    • Yeah sorry I went anonymous because of spamers and if I added a link Girls ask guys would remove my question.

    • Ok thanks, girls probably have to go to the toilet to vomit after seeing me... That's how ugly I feel. :(

    • Asker, everyone feels like they have a face that could break a camera. "Ugly" and "plain" are not interchangeable, which I see a lot. I have never seen a truly "ugly" person.

      At some point we all have to throw our insecurities, or at least leave them numb in the background, deciding that "Hey. Today I'm not going to leave my hair in my face and hide. Today I'm going to have fun." It is easier said than done, I know.

  • If you lower your standards or offer stability to somebody who wants that then you have a chance. Try approaching a girl who doesn't usually get hit on.

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  • How can an ugly guy get a girlfriend?
    Possibly by choosing an ugly gal or by increasing your wealth, status, and/or personality to compensate for your looks if you want an average or attractive gal.

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    • This is mean but very practical advice.

    • Show All
    • @Swag-is-Sweet
      Amusing logic more amusing is how 'because I said so' is seemingly quite a common male logic.

    • @udolipixie

      So?Why i waste my time elaborating all things.if i can express my self in a few words.

      -Swag-is-Sweet

  • Well let me tell you something about us girls,, ( we do not like a guy that call himself ugly , ) we like a confident man ,

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  • Find a girl that is just as ugly? Nah I'm just plying. Just be confident and put yourself out there :)

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    • I have always looked at blonde girls. Must be my problem I am too ugly for them.

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    • Yes. What you put out there is what you will get back.

    • mmm... so do you think those nasty, mean girls that are like that to other girls and us men get it back?

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