There's a girl I met through the ex of my best friend. As far as he conveys to me through his ex (who was both our classmate, so we are kind of friends, too), this girl has a crush on me. While she does have some extra weight, I honestly believe her face is very attractive, she is great in personality, shy as I am, and we also have some common interests that I've never found in a girl. But to be totally honest -and no, this doesn't have to do with her body- I don't feel in love with her.
Last time I saw her was 6 months ago - my friend was still with his ex then. Recently, we somehow got into that topic about the girl that likes me. Since my friend knows that I've been very disappointed by all the girls that I've been with so far, he pointed out all those positives of that girl and said I should probably give it a chance, bringing into perspective the fact that he wasn't very enthusiastic about his ex at first, but he then fell madly in love.
Since they do have friendly relationships, he arranged for a meeting between the four of us. There, I saw she was still interested and decided to not be uptight and ask her out, something which she gladly accepted and gave me her number. I don't have any problem going out with her, but I do have some moral concerns. I don't want to be some a-hole, but if I'm to respect myself, I can't get into a relationship if chemistry doesn't develop in our dates, something that I know will deeply disappoint her. So, I'm torn; I don't know if it was a good move to reignite things. Furthermore, my friend's ex confided to me that she is very enthusiastic and I should handle it with care, something which puts even more weight on my shoulders. Of course, there's the chance that we'll click together, something I'm actually praying for!
What's your opinion?
Most Helpful Girl
I think this is the problem when friends get involved in your love life. Your friend seems to be pushing the relationship without letting you decide for yourself. That's what it seems like to me, at least.
Here's the thing: when you start dating someone, there's always the chance that it could backfire or it could just not work out. Just because you knew of the girl and she's a somewhat mutual friend doesn't mean you shouldn't treat her like any other girl you'd date.
And by expecting chemistry, you're not being an asshole, you're being realistic. If you don't feel anything, it's not just going to magically appear. Sure, maybe it will some day, but if it doesn't, that seems like an unnecessary gamble to put you and the girl through.
If you want to date her and see where it goes, go for it. She should realize that that's what dating is…getting to know each other and see if it's something worth building on. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. She needs to be mature enough to handle that.1