Is she just using me for attention?

I will tell the facts in short: this woman (over 20) has been staring at me in class from the very start of this year and has been almost nothing but friendly in an exxagerated way that only girls do when they're in love. I can tell these sort of things 'cause I get hit on a lot (I don't have a girlfriend nor am I a fan of one night stands if that matters. I have lots of principles lol).

There were pictures on her FB-page (she added me, ofcourse) that indicated she had a boyfriend, but no hard proof (no overlapping date with the period she met me). And when all she did the months before New Year, was staring at me with this vulnerable eyes and becoming shy like a teenage girl whenever I was near to her, there was no reason to think she had.

However, turns out she does. Which left me puzzling (and devastated for a few weeks) to this day. 'Cause I was already mentally picturing a future together.
Right now, we're heading towards the end of the second semester (it's a one-year specialization course and after that year there's a big chance I can't see her again)

And I tried to be mad at her for a long period. At first she looked sincerely upset when I ignored her looks and even looked at her with despise. She looked hurt even. (she has these eyes, which make it so easy for me to tell whenever she's vulnerable or not) But then there was this trip to a foreign country to do some field work and I helped her a lot (she was uncomfortable in some unspecified situations and I felt obliged as the gentleman I am) and now she's been talking to me over FB for these two hour sessions this last week. I feel guilty about that, picturing her boyfriend.
She basically tells me about her future professional aspirations (applications) and really wants my opinion about these things.
To be honest, I'm now getting a little tired of this. As much as I like to help people, she values my opinion a little too much.
OR: is she just using me for attention, to make her feel good?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • BFs can be "in name only"
    serving to keep other guys at bay
    having one foot in a comfortable, yet unsatisfying nest
    while she continues to shop around
    and you- buddy - are her shopping goal
    so take her out on a date of two and
    eventually ask about that FB guy - a BF?
    Then listen carefully to how she describes him
    then this drama is over, no more games afoot

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    • I won't ever take her on a date while she's in a relationship. It's just immoral to me.

    • Show All
    • maybe Inquisitive?

    • Yes =) . Confrontational was the wrong word here.

What Girls Said 1

  • If she looked upset and hurt when you ignored her, then she's definitely not using you for attention. She cares about you, and she needs you in her life. But if she was seriously into you, she'd break up with her boyfriend by now. She just probably likes you for being a gentleman, and giving her good advice. She needs you in her life, but from as much you've written about her, it just seems you're like a friend, or an elder brother to her.

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    • This makes sense, but why is she so shy in front of me (and her eyes get really big). And she's laughing at the silliest things I say.

    • In that case, maybe she does like you...but why didn't she break up with the other guy yet?

    • I'm not exactly 'pushing' her away from the other guy. I feel like that's not my call to make, I don't want to be that guy who ruins a relationship. I don't know, it could be that. Thanks for your take on the matter =)

What Guys Said 1

  • Just ignore her and see how it goes. And the next you catch her staring at you, just ask her if she finds your body sexy or is she just a stalker.

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