What to do when a guy won't commit?

I feel stuck. I do like this guy but he seems like he is hiding something because things are starting to not make sense. We have been dating for 4 months. He said it is exclusive. Basically I am made to act like I am in a relationship but I am technically not in one. So i basically pretty much strongly hinting I want to make it official because why not..It has been 4 months and I am sick of "dating" I want the title If I am to act like I am in one..if he is not prepared to make me his gf how can he expect to control me so much. I can't date anyone else and yet I feel he doesn't really want me..Never met his friends etc. I feel we need to take a step foward it is not enough anymore and I feel he keeps amking up excuses to keep us going nowhere and yet claims he wants me its just not ready. I dont knwo what to do I feel stuck and I feel he is maybe keeping me on a string until he finds better..how do i know if he is doing this. what do i do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • First thing you need to do is to figure out what you want in the relationship. There's no need to feel that you are stuck when you can make the decision yourself. What do I mean? If you're eager to have the title of being his girlfriend then you need to approach him and tell him this. If your guy is still beating around the brushes, then you need to give him in ultimatum. Let him know that life is too short to be playing these mind games. If he wants to be with you then he's going to be with you. If he's not, then move on. Women in our society always feel the need to wait on the guy to make the first move. If you want something, go get it instead of waiting for it to come to you.

    • I think he does keep beating around bush. if i gently say something like what are we doing..we act like we are in a relationship so you know..he doesn't take me seriously..then when i have a strong reaction at him as to why he won't committ he says i need to calm down and im being irrational and i think he uses that as further excuse that its not ready yet. but i mean i can't keep going this way. its like he manipulates me to just go along with things. i have tried to give ultimatums but then i back down. so i feel stuck


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What Guys Said 2

  • Your choices are 1 accept it as is. 2 wait around and hope he commits. Or 3 find another guy who is willing to commit.

  • I'd be careful. It sounds as though he is keeping his options open. You should tell him that there are other guys ready, willing and able to give you exactly what you want from a relationship. If he doesn't want to be that guy then that's his loss.

    • I basically have done that. He knows there was someone else and he basiclaly got me to delete them from my Facebook and have no contact with him. If i gently insinuate I want a relationship he doesn't take me seriously, when I have a strong reaction as to why he won't commit he calls me irrational and to calm down and that he does want me and no one else but no matter how i raise the topic it gets nowhere. so i feel stuck.

What Girls Said 3

  • You have 3 options:
    1) You ask to DTR (determine the relationship)
    2) You leave him alone because it seems he's not ready for the relationship your prepping him for, because he is not stupid, he's dragging you along because your letting it go to far
    3) Decide to be friends with benefits.

    *I like #1&2
    it's up to you

    But no man that wants you will make you go this long without an answer. Men are animals, they go after what they want and will go very far and hard to get it.

    Think about it./

  • You leave.

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