im his girlfriend but feel like im friends with benefits?

we've been together for 4months but didn't make it official since last month. we usually have sex weekly, but sometimes i feel like i'm just friends with benefits, even though he does message saying how you doing etc etc, and he has told me he likes me etc etc, we cuddle, do all those coupley stuff however i haven't met his friends yet. the sex is good cause we're pretty intimate and i do like him even though we don't talk 24/7, maybe im just over thinking, i mean i do enjoy the sex, and we've spoken that only around 30-40% of our relationship is about sex which i think is a healthy amount. he's also said that since its 30-40% we should set a time where we're going to have sex then the rest we'll do other stuff like watch movie etcetc, so maybe im just paranoid?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say that you're not being paranoid but at the same time keep in mind that different people see relationships in a different way and it's not healthy to try and force your own beliefs of how it should look onto the other person but rather try both to find some middle ground the key to witch is communication.

    And I'm not trying to say anything like you're trying to force him or that your idea isn't the right one because in reality what ever works in the end for both of you is the right one.

    I learned this the hard way in the last couple of months. I was trying to push my head trough the wall trying to get this girl to be in the relationship with me the way I though it should be and all I achieved was her running away from me and pushing me away. But now I'm trying really hard to listen to her she's trying to talk to me and let me know how and what she feels and somehow we're trying to take things easy and making it work. For now it's really great and I hope it keeps. :)
    It's weird for me too to not hear from my partner for more than a couple of hours but I can now understand her being busy in a different way than me and can understand not having time to text all day and other stuff. But it's really interesting in the end.

    Good luck to you two. :)

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    • ahh fair enough, thanks so much i guess ill just casually bring it up then. yeah i dont takl to him everyday i mean, we're both pretty busy etc he needs space etc etc i respect that so yeah, ahhh thats awesome for you!!

What Guys Said 1

  • Totally see why you feel this way and honestly it seems like either you him or both are not doing other things together. You two might need to find common interests that don't involve being inside all day.

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    • yeah..i was thinking that...we're always inside...but like he's always so tired from work cause he's a bartender so i dont want to like force him to go out and do activities you know?

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you are not paranoid... you have to talk to your boyfriend if you feel that way. even if others say otherwise, it is your relationship with him. So.. if you feel like you are treated as friends with benefit, instead of feeling like you are having a relationship, then you have to talk to him about it, if you cannot talk to him about how you feel about stuffs I think that's not a good relationship. Good luck!

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