Toilet scenes in fiction?

I wrote this story about a 13 year old boy called Peter, a smartly dressed, mature schoolboy in love with a pretty girl called Rachel. There's a scene in it where he's in the school toilets with his two friends. His friends are peeing. Peter's sitting on the toilet and his friends are teasing him about it. They say they will tell Rachel that Peter's having a poo on the loo. Should the scene be removed?


0|0
2|4

Most Helpful Girl

  • no. it sounds pretty realistic lol.

    0|1
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • Too be honest unless its important to the plot there isn't really a reason to put a scene like that in, and I've never heard of someone getting teased for going to the toilet haha.
    But hey, its your story. If you think it fits then leave it in.

    0|2
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • Unless it causes a later scene just remove it, it sounds a little awkward lol.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 3

  • It should only be left in if Peter, as a retaliatory gesture, fills both of his hands with his own feces, and smears it on the faces of his moronic little friends, laughing at them as they gag and vomit! Now your story is beginning to take form!

    0|0
    0|0
  • No this scene sounds like total bullshit, first off it doesn't matter whether you keep it or not this isn't a story your gonna be selling or that anyone's gonna care about from the simple synopsis you gave it sounds rather dull, but if you really care about it then I would say remove it because what friends tease people about having a shit. You phrased having the last sentence very weirdly having a poo on the loo hmmm are u a troll, is that u pol.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Probably everybody poops it's a fact of life

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...