I need closure! I'm going crazy... please help.

I will try to keep this short.

I dated this guy for almost a year, I was 18 he was 19. We started with sex and later he asked me to be his girlfriend. We had sex all the time, it was really good, but it happened so fast, I became so emotionally attached... but started to have feelings like he was using me and didn't love me (he has never told me he loved me) the thing is he did things to make it seem like he did care about me, like introducing me to his friends and his parents(his mom even gave me a Christmas gift!). We would do bf&gf type stuff, cuddled, watch movies, lay on the grass and watch the stars, go to the beach . Towards the end of the relationship, he become more and more emotionally distant and it was just about the sex, I started cheating on him and never told him, eventually I broke up with him... He took it really hard and tried to get me back multiple times, he showed up to my house nearly in tears.. I never thought he would have reacted that way! I thought he wouldn't even care! I am 20 now, in the years we've been broken up we met up a few times both confessing we really missed each other, we would have sex right away, but I would always be the one to stop seeing him... I can't really say why, it was just too painful, I have panic attacks sometimes when I think about him... Like right now... I feel so sick.. I want to be with him but I don't think he even cares about me anymore... When we were together his ex used to drunk text him, it drove me crazy I would feel so jealous... I never truly trusted him... I feel like contacting him again but that will probably just bring me into a deeper hole... Why does he do this to me? He always asks to meet up when I text him and then we have sex then I feel like sh*t... he doesn't love me, why can't I get that through my head and move on...sometimes I feel like I'd do anything to be with him again... someone please help :(

 

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What Girls Said 3

What Guys Said 2

  • Surround yourself with people you can talk to and start emotionally detaching yourself away from this guy.

  • He only wants sex and nothing more

  • :( he's a buttface. He used you. But you have to trust yourself with this: if you really think he cares about you, you should tell him how you feel, because he might be feeling the same way. You might both be not sure how to approach each other. If you really aren't sure, ease your way back into his life. Pretend you're becoming friends with him all over again.

  • Selected as most helpful

    it appears like he loves you, perhaps in his own imperfect way, or perhaps no hard enough, but he does has feelings for you, at worst you can say he MAY love you and be doubtfull, but, sorry to say it, but it seems you don't love him, love requires trust, it wouldn't have hurt him when you cheated if he hadn't had, even if only a little, put his trust in you, you can't betray a trut that was never there, but like you said, YOU never trusted him, so IF that's true, then you never loved him, and don't love him now, yo kiss someone when you feel she is ready, you take her hand when you think she is ready, perhaps he never said "I love you" because it would have been like sexually-touching you WAY too early

    • if it is "only words" you can say pretty much anything and there'll be no problem, if you actually mean it, deeply, then saying "I love you" can be exposing yourself even more than nakedness, that's way I say, think how would you feel if a guy who you are not that much into suddenly kisses you, or hugs you, you'll feel quite uncomfortable, but this si more intimate, that's why I compare with touching you TOO early, it may have made you react badly, like he was crossing the line

    • "perhaps he never said "I love you" because it would have been like sexually-touching you WAY too early" can you explain this more?

  • Okay, this answer keeps getting shorter, because every time I try to input it, by he time I'm done GAG logs me out.


    Short answer:


    Get help with anxiety - yoga, tai chi, that sort of thing.


    Respond to your own thoughts that upset you. Under react to them.


    Think about why you cheated, and imagine smacking him in the head with a large dildo.


    Every time you think about going back to him or being his booty call, imagine a big outrageous looking dildo flopping around in your hand, then coming down across his face while he has his biggest sh*t eating grin on.


    That'll be $50.

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