Ex won't talk to me :(

We broke up about 4 months ago without even a proper explanation why we broke up at the time. Since then he hasn't spoken to me at all, I've text him a couple of times just friendly texts to ask if he's OK but he never replies. I see him at work all the time and all his friends are fine with me but he just looks through me. Sometimes I see him looking at me and think he walks a different route through work to see me and looks when I'm speaking to another male colleague though. We broke up after 9 months, he is 24 & I am 19 with his 25th birthday coming up next week. We spoke about having a baby in a couple of years and were looking for a flat together the week previous to the break up. I also met all his family and he was extremely happy. We had a huge argument one night and after this he text me saying it was over. No closure, nothing. Can anyone help m as to what to do next, I see him everyday at work. I love him to bits but it just seems hopeless. Men's opinions please? I really want to try anything to keep him...well get him back xx

argument was just about something silly, very silly. I text him today asking for some advice on something I knew he would be able to help me with. it was the first time he text me back since the break up but VERY straight to the point texts.
he text me this morning asking 'hows sam?' (this guy that my ex knew liked me the whole way through our relationship) even though nothing will ever happen with this guy. Surely this means he's thinking about me in that way, ?

he's replying to my texts but I don't seem to be saying the right things and he's just being sarcastic/rude back. maybe its time to give up! thanks for the advice :)
he text me today saying 'ok il be civil' then asked me about a guy there has been talk about me seeing since him. he was quite chatty and then went cold. is this a really silly sign or positive? :) xxx
we've been texting again today and I said to him 'why can't you just be civil' and 8 hours later he replied saying 'OK I will be' and he said I hope iv realized how much I was a d*** to him. then asked me lots about guys he thought iv been with. opinions?xx
he text me this morning saying 'forget it, I can't be bothered to be civil to you' I know he's being a d***, do you think he's just pitying me or just being nasty or feeling bad?x
since the last update, we have been talking and he wants to be friends. I didn't hold my breathe but I'm just going with it for now. Now we've agreed to friends with benefits, which is good for both of us as we know what each other likes.advice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmmm. That doesn't help. I figure if it was enough for him to break up with you, it was enough to mention. I know that an ex broke up with and still wanted to be together, but she would say stuff like "I hope you're doing ok." which didn't mean anything to me. To me it meant she was happy she found someone and just liked giving me some pity.

    My point is, he may very well like you still. I needed more info to give you better advice. But from what I little I do gather, he's resentful. I don't know why. Resentment goes away though, but if not tended to, can just become this permanent bitterness. He may want you to fight a little for HIM. Again, I don't what you guys argued about. If he didn't want to text you back, he wouldn't. It's not hard for guys to not text. It's not natural to us lol.

    Be direct with guys. You more or less get a direct answer in return. Tell him you still have feelings for him and you wanna know what he thinks about that. If you are sorry for something that you may have done, apologize. Tell that you will let him decide what to do, but your gonna stay outta his way until he has made a decision ( because he can't just drag you along, just because you want him. You gotta show you are worth having again.)


What Guys Said 8

  • What was the argument about?

  • He's too scared or overwhelmed or lazy to deal with you, so he avoids you because that's easier. That's what he means about "can't be bothered."

    Whatever the explanation, I'd give up on him. Regardless of whose fault it is (if anyone's), there's no point talking to someone who refuses to communicate with you.

  • hunnire you haven't been a d*** to him he has been a d*** to you and now he's got you right where he wants you.

  • sorry hunni but unless you can find a way to replace the argument he isn't going to love you anymore. you need to win back his trust that he won't be hurt again because at the moment he is very insecure.

  • I think the term "friends with benefits" signifies a relationship based on B.S. It is bound to fail.

  • Whatever the argument was about, obviously wasn't just "silly, very silly" to him. Perhaps your attitude to consider something silly that was important to him had something to do with the break up. You should tell us the argument -- let's just see how silly it really was. What is silly to a woman is not often silly to a man and visa versa.

  • With regards to you willing to do anything to get him back, makes you look desperate and vulnerable to being taking advantage of. When someone knows that YOU REALLY NEED THEM or WANT THEM they will start taking you for granted (MOST of the time) or even start using you. Don't let him know that you will do anything to have him back or beg him to come back...

    • I agree...dont look so deseperate...only way you can not do to move on is play his game too...IGNORE HIM!

      dont even mention his name to his friends

What Girls Said 6

  • yeah...friends with benefits AFTER a serious relationship sounds like a recipie for heartache and spite.

  • IGNORE HIM! If that is what he said to you, he is trying for a reaction. The BEST reaction to give him now is the silent treatment. I know it will drive you crazy, but it will drive him even CRAZIER!

  • tell him that...say I'm just gonna give up then, I was trying but I don't need this. I'll wait till you are ready to talk

  • i had an ex like this who was just a d*ck to me ...

    he would text me nd stuff but just to keep me on a leash . I feel dumb now.

    but here is the lesson learned:if you want him back, don't show it. act as tho you have moved on. cus clearly he is always wondering who ur seeing. he won't know what he has til its gone. and if yu stik around forever he's guna get tired of you trying so hard.

  • if you want him back, then you gotta let him go first...simple as that...cuz if you continue this right now with the way you are with eachother, it won't really solve much becuz obviously, its just arguments the whole time...break the pattern, say some good words to him, don't be mean to him...and then let him go. meaning don't look for contact with him...if he contact you, be polite and nice...but end the whatever communication first, say bye politely...just leave him alone, what's the point in this if you are both getting worked out over "this"; argue, hurting. let him go, soon the good memories should be catching up on him...stop it before things can never be fixed.

  • Same as mine hun, after being together for 8 years he broke up with me over the phone! and his only excuse was that we weren't getting on.

    I pestered mine for a while on text only and he barred my number so please try not to contact him - it only makes things worse.

    The reason he's ignoring you is cause he's gutless and he really needs to grow up. He was too gutless to even give you a proper explanation why yuo broke!

    Yeh again same as mine we talked about a future together but guess what he found himself a girl a couple of weeks later and they are still together now.

    The thing you have to remember is you can't make someone love or want you and the more you pester the more your pushing him away and he things he got the control.

    Your more than likely a brill girl so concentrate on you and try your best to forget about him.

    One day you will realise he's not worth it x x x x x