What makes you put a certain girl in the "friend zone"- guys?

I think the question is pretty self explanatory...

But basically my question is: Guys in YOUR mind...what seperates a girl from being seen as just "one of the guys" or a "buddy" and a girl being the type of person you would want to date?

Are there any things a girl does *specifically* that can automatically make you put her in the "friend zone" or "friend category" to you?

*Obviously I'm asking because I DON'T want to be put in the "friend zone" lol!

Ladies...feel free to chime in too! :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Mentioning other guys -- "that (name) is so attractive" -- this kills any interest I might have in her. Instant friendzone for me, period.

    Providing INTIMATE details about the relationship she used to have with her ex, even if you didn't ask. Huge turn off as well. Please, I don't want to hear that sh*t.

    If I see her flirting with some other guy. Not just chatting or laughing, but clearly flirting: making eyes at him, acting coy or mischievous, touching him playfully, anything like that. Another instant friendzone there.

    Tries to play games with me -- obvious attempts to make me jealous, or get me to fight for her attention; or playing hot n' cold; or any other stupid little game women like to play. For me it's a clear sign of immaturity, so the most she will ever be is a friend. Probably not even that, though.

    She has issues. Of course, everyone has their own share of problems, but some are deal breakers and no-no's for dating: a strong resentment / spite towards men; still in love with her ex, or has a thing for some other guy; is very, very sexist and tries to enforce that in her relationships, making the guy pay for everything and take her anywhere anytime, because he must "provide" for her; and other things I forget atm.

    Finally, if she lacks a fundamental quality that I consider... well, fundamental. Like being level-headed, trustworthy, sincere. And of course there must be some degree of attraction.

    Hope this helps. Good Luck.

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    • Wow...GREAT answer!

      I'm glad you went in-depth and provided some real clear-cut examples as opposed to just "the girl is not attractive" or "I'm not attracted to her".

      This makes a lot of sense, thanks.

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    • Haha thanks! I live by these little rules so it all comes to mind easily. :)

    • Well, I do say other guys are hott but that is because my guy friends say that other grls are hot. The same thing go for girls they do not want to be with a guy that is gonna say that outloud. This puts the guy in the friend zone.

What Guys Said 17

  • If she's

    -too young

    -not free

    -not interested in more than just drinking a coke together.

    If I'm not free

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  • the main reasons I would put a girl in the friend zone are:

    1) she doesn't act/dress feminine enough

    2) she just wouldn't be a good match for me in a relationship, personality wise

    3) I'm not physically attracted to them

    4) she doesn't flirt with me, even if I initiate

    5) she pays more attention to other guys in the group (if she only hangs around me when I'm with the guys, I assume she's not interested or just wants to, as you say, be one of the guys)

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    • Oh wow...okay, that's great info you provided.

      I want some more clarification though lol.

      4) So, when you say a girl isn't flirting with you, what specifically are you looking for? Because sometimes some girls may be shy and may not be able to be blatantly flirtatious even if a guy is flirting with them. They may only be able to laugh or giggle.

      5) Ohhhh...wow...okay so if she's paying more attention to OTHER guys you assume a girl doesn't like you and so you put her in the fzone?

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    • @beerYY3: yes, I prefer feminine girls

      act - I don't want ditzs or the barbie attitude, but I want sweet / caring / cuddly

      dress - longer hair, takes care of her skin and shows some of it off, if she looks like a guy that's a turn-off

    • I'm glad you said #1.

      I get so sick of my girlfriends that don't understand why I like to dress girly.

  • Maybe you should ask why do married men check out the booty and boobies of girls walkin on the street in the summer heat with less clothing. I have that right because I'm single, but if I ever get accepted instead of rejected, I will not even take a first look at another girl.

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  • if she is dating one of my friends, or has dated one of my friends.

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  • sexual attraction. that's it

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More from Guys
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What Girls Said 5

  • Girls are rarely in the friend zone, unless the guy is blatantly unattracted to her or she is the turn of one of his buddies. Girls get put into the "friends with benefits zone" where he likes to hang with her and wants to sleep with her, but wouldn't date her for whatever reason.

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  • I agree with some other answers that say it has to do with their attraction towards you, you know, the way they see you. If you drink like one of the guys, curse like one of the guys, talk like one of the guys, and pretty much behave like one of the guys, then you'll be seen like one of the guys. On the other hand, if you act like a lady, then they will see you as a lady, respect, and possibly see you as girlfriend material...good luck!

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  • if you're too much of a tomboy they might get uninterested. also if he's like a ladies man and you're a little innocent girl. they don't wanna trouble with that. they don't want responsibility. so they just treat you like a friend and that's it.

    dont you change yourself to get a guy like that. if he's not interested in you, you deserve a better man.

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  • That has happen to me. It only has gone as far as friends with benefits and calls me his best friend. I wish one day I would not be a friend.

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  • awesome question! I'm in the same situation!

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