What makes you put a certain girl in the "friend zone"- guys?

I think the question is pretty self explanatory...

But basically my question is: Guys in YOUR mind...what seperates a girl from being seen as just "one of the guys" or a "buddy" and a girl being the type of person you would want to date?

Are there any things a girl does *specifically* that can automatically make you put her in the "friend zone" or "friend category" to you?

*Obviously I'm asking because I DON'T want to be put in the "friend zone" lol!

Ladies...feel free to chime in too! :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Mentioning other guys -- "that (name) is so attractive" -- this kills any interest I might have in her. Instant friendzone for me, period.

    Providing INTIMATE details about the relationship she used to have with her ex, even if you didn't ask. Huge turn off as well. Please, I don't want to hear that sh*t.

    If I see her flirting with some other guy. Not just chatting or laughing, but clearly flirting: making eyes at him, acting coy or mischievous, touching him playfully, anything like that. Another instant friendzone there.

    Tries to play games with me -- obvious attempts to make me jealous, or get me to fight for her attention; or playing hot n' cold; or any other stupid little game women like to play. For me it's a clear sign of immaturity, so the most she will ever be is a friend. Probably not even that, though.

    She has issues. Of course, everyone has their own share of problems, but some are deal breakers and no-no's for dating: a strong resentment / spite towards men; still in love with her ex, or has a thing for some other guy; is very, very sexist and tries to enforce that in her relationships, making the guy pay for everything and take her anywhere anytime, because he must "provide" for her; and other things I forget atm.

    Finally, if she lacks a fundamental quality that I consider... well, fundamental. Like being level-headed, trustworthy, sincere. And of course there must be some degree of attraction.

    Hope this helps. Good Luck.

    • Wow...GREAT answer!

      I'm glad you went in-depth and provided some real clear-cut examples as opposed to just "the girl is not attractive" or "I'm not attracted to her".

      This makes a lot of sense, thanks.

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    • Haha thanks! I live by these little rules so it all comes to mind easily. :)

    • Well, I do say other guys are hott but that is because my guy friends say that other grls are hot. The same thing go for girls they do not want to be with a guy that is gonna say that outloud. This puts the guy in the friend zone.

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What Guys Said 16

  • the main reasons I would put a girl in the friend zone are:

    1) she doesn't act/dress feminine enough

    2) she just wouldn't be a good match for me in a relationship, personality wise

    3) I'm not physically attracted to them

    4) she doesn't flirt with me, even if I initiate

    5) she pays more attention to other guys in the group (if she only hangs around me when I'm with the guys, I assume she's not interested or just wants to, as you say, be one of the guys)

    • Oh wow...okay, that's great info you provided.

      I want some more clarification though lol.

      4) So, when you say a girl isn't flirting with you, what specifically are you looking for? Because sometimes some girls may be shy and may not be able to be blatantly flirtatious even if a guy is flirting with them. They may only be able to laugh or giggle.

      5) Ohhhh...wow...okay so if she's paying more attention to OTHER guys you assume a girl doesn't like you and so you put her in the fzone?

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    • @beerYY3: yes, I prefer feminine girls

      act - I don't want ditzs or the barbie attitude, but I want sweet / caring / cuddly

      dress - longer hair, takes care of her skin and shows some of it off, if she looks like a guy that's a turn-off

    • I'm glad you said #1.

      I get so sick of my girlfriends that don't understand why I like to dress girly.

  • Good question. To be honest, I don't really believe in girls as friends. It's a relationship in which they get everything they want, ie to be friends with someone as awesome as me, and I don't get anything I want, ie anything sexual. It's pretty much a waste of time haha. Despite that, I do have two friends who are girls. Do as followed and you will never be looked at as a sexually viable candidate again:

    1. Don't take care of yourself. If you don't shave your legs and point out hey I don't shave my legs and I'm hairier than you, you will never be looked at as a sexually viable candidate again.

    2. Don't have any sense of etiquette and be rude. If you take a dump while hiking in the middle of the rainforest instead of walking to an outhouse five minutes away and then go and brag about it and tell your friends on the trip with you to go and see what you did, you will never be looked at as a sexually viable candidate again.

    3. Be loud and obnoxious. If you go to a black tie event and tell a story about how you were gangbanged in Mexico during spring break while simultaneously yelling WHAT UP BITCH to every person who walks by you, you will never be looked at as a sexually viable candidate again.

    4. Tell him you have a penis. And it's bigger than his.

    Avoid these four simple rules, and guys (since we're all pretty gross) will still probably want to hook up with you.

  • if she is in my friend zone, I have not attraction to her from the beginning. She's just not my type.

    • what if it is a grl you are f*** buddies with and then realize she is a your best friend but you are still having sex with her.

    • It would never happen, I have no want for a "F*** buddy". your my friend, my crush or my love. I have been offered and turned them down with a "if your going to be mine and I yours, I want us to be everything, something I can tell my parents with pride, not shame."

  • Maybe you should ask why do married men check out the booty and boobies of girls walkin on the street in the summer heat with less clothing. I have that right because I'm single, but if I ever get accepted instead of rejected, I will not even take a first look at another girl.

  • I have friends I think are hot but I would never do anything with. I know it would never work out because we aren't compatible. It would require too much effort to keep things together. She doesn't have a lot of the qualities I am looking for in a partner and vice versa.

    Usually with women a guy has a one way pass to the friend zone like it's a holding cell in a county jail. Guys typically allow free passage from 'intimate' to 'friends' with little effort. Guys can act casual if one wild night happened with a friend.

    • When you say not "compatible" what exactly do you mean? Are you talking about her personality? You guys don't have anything in common? What is it?

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    • I'm fairly confident that if I pursued my theater friend that she would have been mine. Unfortunately I would have wanted her for a long term relationship when all she wanted to do was have sex. Then she lost weight and that ended it for me.

      Aloof was the wrong word so strike that.

    • Wow! That's very commendable of you bcause it seems most guys usually just want girls for sex anyway. Usually it's the other way around lol!

      But that's good you recognized that the two of you wanted different things and didn't go further with it.

  • If she's

    -too young

    -not free

    -not interested in more than just drinking a coke together.

    If I'm not free

  • Girls make terrible "friends". I only talk to women who I have some sort of romantic interest in.

    • Lol okay so are you saying that ANY guy who goes out of his way to hold a conversation with a woman is somehow romantically interested or attracted to her in some way?

    • In most cases, yes. Sure, there are some men that hate the company of other men or just prefer to be around women and so they tend to associate more with women.

  • if she is dating one of my friends, or has dated one of my friends.

  • When she's my buds girlfriend. Only other thing that can keep off a girl is if she has some serious issue I wouldn't want to deal with. One girl whose a friend of mine is gay, another is a weird girl who is just... weird. Another is a whore but keeps it really to herself, but everybody knows. I don't have many female friends but the ones I do have have issues that I keeps me from wanting to date them.

  • I'm gonna be completely honest, I don't speak to girls that I wouldn't have sex with, I think I speak for a lot of guys also.

    • lol if chicks did that to you you'd be one lonely SOB

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    • no. she's not insecure. she just knows how to be a friend without thinking with her genitals.

      not everyone wants to bang every one they talk to, who is attractive.. I have lots of guy friends and sex is the last thing I want from them.

    • I was joking for christs sake.

  • it's only guys that get stuck or put in the friend zone, not girls

    • So not true!

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    • Not true! I've been stuck in the friend zone.

      Plus I'm very out there and let guys know when I like them, so its not always the guys that initiate everything.

    • really? are you serious?

  • sexual attraction. that's it

  • if we aren't attracted to each other or have already gone out

  • if she calls me "dude" or "bro"

    and also I just the chemistry right away, I either feel it or I dont.

  • lack of attraction due to familiarity or anything else.

  • I'll be honest I put all girls in the "friend zone" because I'm not interested in that type of relationship. I've done the dating thing in the past and it sucked, so I've decided that I'm now perma-single but that doesn't meant I don't want friends in fact it means I only want friends. (except the TV series which sucks a royal one), but that's just me, I'm sure most of my fellow men on this planet have other ideas, and more power to them, but I am what I am, and I am who I am nothing more nothing less


What Girls Said 5

  • Girls are rarely in the friend zone, unless the guy is blatantly unattracted to her or she is the turn of one of his buddies. Girls get put into the "friends with benefits zone" where he likes to hang with her and wants to sleep with her, but wouldn't date her for whatever reason.

  • I agree with some other answers that say it has to do with their attraction towards you, you know, the way they see you. If you drink like one of the guys, curse like one of the guys, talk like one of the guys, and pretty much behave like one of the guys, then you'll be seen like one of the guys. On the other hand, if you act like a lady, then they will see you as a lady, respect, and possibly see you as girlfriend material...good luck!

  • if you're too much of a tomboy they might get uninterested. also if he's like a ladies man and you're a little innocent girl. they don't wanna trouble with that. they don't want responsibility. so they just treat you like a friend and that's it.

    dont you change yourself to get a guy like that. if he's not interested in you, you deserve a better man.

  • That has happen to me. It only has gone as far as friends with benefits and calls me his best friend. I wish one day I would not be a friend.

  • awesome question! I'm in the same situation!