Ex girlfriend dating again

well, we were together for 2 years and it was the most important relationship I have ever had because we started as friends first.(we also did and do work together) we both had issues, tried to work through them and ultimately it ended up that it "just didn't work". since the breakup I haven't dated anyone, just worked on myself and have improved many areas. she on the other hand for some reason ACTS as though I was the one with the issues even though she SAYS it was both of us. she SAID she would be open minded to us dating again, but during conversations during our FWB stage after the breakup she said NO WAY...even admitting the FWB thing was a second choice, while mentioning "its sad that we can have this kind of fun together but couldn't make a relationship work. (even though our 2 time friends with benefits stages WERE like a relationship)...that is until she told me "I've met someone" (over the goddam weekend, dated him 3 times in a week and decided THAT was more important than what we were doing.)

since we broke up almost a year ago it shouldn't hurt, but by working together and now doing the relationshippy/fwb thing twice, it KILLS and has really hurt my self esteem...i compare myself to this guy, and that's not a god thing. I am very very angry with her , not for living life, but for hurting me and for being so stupid to fall for a guy so quickly.

I told her specifically if this thing with him didn't work out do NOT expect to come back to me, she agreed. (I refuse to be a door mat anymore just because I love her)

we both still love each other and she wants to be friends. we left it that "i would call her" and let her know if we were still on for our plans for the weekend...it ended up that SHE cancelled them because "she was uncomfortable"(which I can assume she was seeing the new douche bag and blowing me off)

Ive been told numerous times that I am a good looking guy,m and for the most part I like to think I have something to offer...i've been great at flirting with women and picking them up, I just haven't mastered the relationship sides of things. what do I do to TRULY move on? how do I stop comparing myself to the "new guy"? ho do I stop the hurt and believe in myself? should I get revenge? I am so confused and FULL of emotions, I would really appreciate any help, but please be gentle

ps: now she's even telling one of my closest friends (older than both of us, kind of a father figure" "i met someone" even though she told ME she was just 'dating'...3 dates in one week = seeing someone? WTF!?
thank you Shiei3, I just wish others would give feedback also!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't beat yourself up too much. Often times when we have a significant relationship that has gone sour we tend to remember the good times and not the bad times. We remember how it once was and we find that we want that back.

    Your only mistake was doing the whole FWB thing. This can really mess with one's head if feelings are involved. I would cut all sexual contact with your ex and if you must contact with her for a while. Any normal person would feel hurt and question themselves if their ex dropped them for another person so quickly. You are not defective.

    So what can you do now? Don't get revenge (it's not worth it at all). However you can decide to do some emotional reparations for yourself.

    1) Stop talking to her for a while: This will allow you to have time to focus on you and heal. It's too hard to heal if you keep talking to her.

    2) Work Out: It is so great to work out because it will get you in shape and clear your mind up. Exercise releases endorphins (the bodies natural prozac) which will boost your spirits up.

    3) Pick up a new hobby: Cooking is great because not only will you have fun but you might find a hidden talent. It's an amazing feeling to eat your own orange glazed chicken and know that you did it all on your own.

    4) Go out with your friends: Not necessarily to bars but dinners, movies, bowling, sports...etc. That's fun.

    5) Stay busy and allow yourself to feel the hurt every now and again (it's normal) just don't wallow in it.

    All of these things will help you to boost your self love and self trust. It takes time so don't expect it to get better overnight. I am sorry you feel so down but know that you can pull yourself out. :) Life is beautiful.

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      Don't let her get to you. You could put this question as a featured question by writing the editors. You'll get more responses and you won't have to ask it again.