I am 35 full time single dad of two they want to their mother house for the weekend I have been living in Janesville since 2007. I have made no friends I feel like every time I talk to someone I am being judge by ever one wither it's my weight, lack of good looks, lack intelligent, no money, any way I just can't deal with this anymore by myself all my life I have been told I have to stand on my own two feet I don't have the skills to do it I was the fat, dumb, slow guy that know cared about. Please is there any normal people out there that still care I would like to meet some people that care just to talk to hang out with if not maybe I should go away permanently
The people you call normal are using technology to improve their so called "features" which seem to be holding back their lifestyles. Yes, there are people that you are talking about still in existence. It's not like everyone who is "real" (in my words, similar to what you are talking about) have up and vanished.
My advice is to focus on areas of your life that need improved. I recently learned from a friend that seeking help isn't as bad as it's made out to be. You can get food / financial assistance, maybe join a gym to improve your looks, or even continue your education to further your intelligence level.
Does that mean that currently you "cannot" make friends for life? No. The thing that you've already understood long before others on this site, especially myself, is that drama can push the people who care about you away. It's hard living in this world because of all the negativity. But it's also your mind playing tricks on you. This "Deep dark world" we live in, isn't really all that bad. It's that we as people have made it out to be some type of chore - where all we are meant to do is be worker bees for some hive. But if you change your perspective, you have the ability to reverse and improve the destruction that has happened inside your lifestyle. Maybe reach out to new friends, increase finances, send your kids to school. Whatever your goal is, it IS possible.
Dude, what you are seeking is genuine love from someone, regardless of your faults, 'lack' of possessions, etc. To be honest, no human being can give you that. Nowadays, everyone seems to like someone only because of some 'great' attribute that person has.
Jesus Christ is the answer to your question. You probably think I sound cliché, but I am dead serious. I have personally gone through many hard times in my life and I can confidently say that if I didn't have God, I'm scared to think of what would have happened to me.
I really want to help you with all sincerity, so I just had to tell you about Jesus :) He helped me and is still doing so!
When I moved from my hometown just last year after living there my whole life I lost ALL of my friends! When I moved to where I live now I didn't make any for at least the first 2-3 months at the new school I was at. People often tell me I'm attractive, but that didn't help me make friends any faster. But people think I'm funny so I thrive at that! I bet you're a great dad so let that be your defining factor, but no matter what have something positive you're known for. It just sounds to me you need some positive vibes and the only person who can truly change your outlook is yourself! And about your weight and looks, if you don't like something about yourself change it! Go for a walk with your kids after school while you talk to them about their day, exercise + bonding!
Wishing you luck and Happiness!
You possibly come across stuck up to people. To make friends you don't need to be thin, attractive, intelligent or rich. You just need ti loosen up a bit, go down to the local pub to watch a few games or what ever your interest are in. And you will meet people who have similar interest. Make small talk at first and over time you'll make friends.
In your head man. If you're talking to people and you're feeling judged by them, you probably unconsciously act in a way that will push you away from them before they reject you. Kind of an ego self preservation mechanism.
Its f***ed up, but it's not hopeless. There's 3 things you wanna start changing:
1- Your thought patterns -[start thinking positive things, I know, it sounds super corny, but it actually works. Stop all your negative thoughts, just interrupt them and think of something else]-
2- The way you percieve yourself -[stop seeing yourself negatively, and see your qualities, whenever you think badly of yourself, stop and think of the good you've done and your qualities]-
3- See a therapist -[there's no shame in seeing a therapist like there's no shame in seeing a doctor for a broken leg, they might be able to help you feel better]-
This will allow you to feel better. It will transpire in your speech and interactions and people will respond better to you and you'll make friends because people want to be around other people who lift them up. Be that guy :); it's hard, nothing in life is easier, but you've made it this far and you've probably gone through waaay tougher stuff than simply changing your thoughts. So it's not impossible, good luck :).
It could be a matter of improving your self image and how you appear to others. Studies have shown that when you dress nicer, people treat you with more respect than when you dress in casual, or working clothes all the time.