My ex girlfriend slept with my best friend--how can I get over her?

so the girl I wanted to marry slept around on me with my friends, its been years and I still love her can't get over her. She has long since moved on and is engaged with two babies. I've never had the same feelings or bee as close to any of my recent gfs , starting to believe I wil never get over her. what should I do ?


Most Helpful Girl

  • What a bitch or a bitch move. Which ever one makes you feel better. Since, you do have feelings for her still. XD Seriously, who does that?

    She's moved on...what's keeping you from doing the same? mmmm...It seems as though you're still in love with the part of her that you wanted to marry. I think you need to sit down and figure out why you are still in love with her because by her actions it does not seem as though she felt the same. There has to be something about her that you're still holding onto.

    Let go.

    You're just chasing your tail by going out with new women and you're also wasting their time especially if you've been in a serious relationship since then. It's not fair to either of you. You are not giving yourself a chance to be happy with someone else who deserves the time and love you have to give. You need time to heal. AND! Stop thinking about how you may never feel the same bout anyone else again. First of all - you're setting yourself up for a pain in the ass trip. You probably will start believing that and hinder your chances at a new love and you may even start comparing her to future gfs. As in, she's not like her in this way or she will do the same. Not something you'd want to deal with or go through.

    How are you going to move on if your heart/mind and still focused on a past love? Maybe she meant something to you but why hold those feelings for someone who could do that to you? She obviously isn't the woman you thought you fell for.

    Throw away anything that reminds you of her - Photos, belongings, number, FB/Email. Do what it takes and deal with your emotions. You can sing sad songs, cry, even write a letter (don't send) lol but write a letter to get all your feelings out and let go.

    Hope it helps.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Your situation is extremely difficult. It is not only her (your ex) that you must move on from but the friends that also betrayed you by allowing her to cheat on you with them. A genuine friend would have ignored her advances and spoken to you about her behavior .

    Having never found myself in a situation quite like yours and, for the record, never wishing to. I can not even begin to fathom the hurt you went through. I do however, as with many others, know the pain of someone you dedicated so much of your time and energy towards moving on and loving someone else the way you wished they had genuinely loved you.

    The only advice I can offer here is to take this energy, time and care that you had for her before she hurt you and invest that in your future relationships. Also be upfront in any future relationships let them know you won't tolerate being cheated on (again) and emphasize the importance of trust by engaging your moral compass. Let them see that you can be trusted and in turn want to know that you can trust them. If you feel you can't trust someone new in your life then sit down with them and express your concerns in a calm manner. Do not allow paranoia, which may have haunted you from your past relationship, to be the cause of hasty accusations as this could end up hurting those who genuinely care about you.

  • Do you still keep it contact? Since you have kept updated on her life, it's implied you still know her somehow. I'd suggest cutting off any contact. It would be difficult if you still love her, but it's kind of necessary by now. She cheated on you, and is now with someone else - it's not impossible that things could change, and it's true that people sometimes just make stupid mistakes, but if it hurt you that much the first time, imagine how much it would hurt if it happened again.

    Time does heal, but sometimes it takes longer than others. Try to keep her as out of your life as possible, and continue to date and give other women a chance. You may find someone else who makes you feel even better just when you least expect it.

    Have you considered seeing a therapist at all? You would have someone to talk out your issues to - some people find that that helps them recover. Even just finding anyone to really talk to might help. If you ever need an impartial stranger, feel free to message me. There are people out there who will let you talk out your feelings.

    • I really thought a female perspective would help, but that was pretty brutal. We have no contact, thank god, and I have tried talking to counselors and stuff but they are all pretty useless, hence why I'm here, believe it or not the guys seem to be the ones with the best advice on this issue so far.

    • I'm not sure if you're insulting my advice/support or not so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here... It wasn't my intention to be "brutal" - there's no easy way to approach stuff like this. Having been through this myself (from the cheating to the baggage to the memories), really the only thing you can do is try to get over it, which involves trying to avoid her and focusing on other things. Like the anon below mentioned - focus on yourself and your happiness.

  • Continue dating

    You will meet someone better


What Guys Said 5

  • I can't believe you haven't gotten over her, because of the fact that she now has two kids. Maybe I just don't understand your pain enough. I've been dumped and the only way I've managed to get over things and move on, was by avoiding her. In your case, you need to avoid your best friend, if you don't already. No best friend dates his friends girl, whether she's an ex or not. I'm sorry you feel this way, but you really have to let her go. It's been years, and that girl you fell in love with... no longer exists.

  • It's best to move on. You can't have her as your wife and she's bringing home your plumber, and making love with him while you're away for work, do you?

    The best you can do is to move on. There are a lot of women who will genuinely care for you and your feelings, who will never give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

    • Thanks bro, that's the exact kinda stuff she did while I was at work, It just makes me feel like all young women can't be trusted and have a promiscuous dark side they like to hide

  • Sleep with your ex's best friend or move on. Simple as that.

  • Move on, if you ever catch yourself thinking what it would be like being with her again, just remember that while her husband think he got the golden ticket, she will be screwing every other guy. As a Girlfriend it hurts, as your wife it's worse.

    You will easily find better.

  • Just think in a few yrs, or sooner the sloppy cheating bitch will be used up, her body gone to the birds & the guy she's with now will do the same to her. According to stats, it's inevitable

    Then you can secretly, or point & laugh at her when you see her pushing her fat bod & 3-4 screaming kids around at Wal-mart, alone.

    It's all mind control & how you think so snap out of it. Stay in shape, concentrate on you, find yourself a decent girl & count your blessings you didn't waste your life on that.

    • Man that is so true, she sure ain't what she used to be, that's the best advice I've ever been given thanks a lot