I occasionally hear secondhand (from my friends) that one of their guy friends will think I am...

I occasionally hear secondhand (from my friends) that one of their guy friends will think that I am "cute," or something along those lines, but these guys will seldom strike up conversation with me or show any type of interest. I didn't think that guys were that shy, especially if they find a girl "cute." Could it be that they are not interested? I find that people will go after what/who they want. It is frustrating because guys seldom pursue me. I used to be shy, but I am not anymore. I am 23 and I really want to find that special someone. I put myself out there and I don't know what else to do to find a decent guy to date.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Age 23? While your age states that you're under 18 here.

    Well, if you want to find some decent guys to date, you're right when you need to put yourself out there. Hang out a lot with your friends. Plan activities with them and allow them to invite their friends. You can meet some decent guy if you're always going out and be socially active.

    You can also spend your time at some coffee shops/parks alone. Girls at these places are always approach by decent guys.

    • woops I just signed up so that was a mistake. I am 23 though. Regardless, thanks for the advice... but I always go out and I am still single.

    • Come here, I'll be your boyfriend. Kidding. ;)

      Perhaps, you can do something on how you present yourself, how you dress, and how you groom. This are attractive to men because they know in an instant when they see a girl if she's someone they can spend their time with or not.

      Or when a guy approaches you, you may be giving him a cold shoulder, and not hinting any interest though deep inside you want to be with him so badly. Turn things around. Don't let guys be confused on how you really feel.

What Guys Said 8

  • just be yourself and that person will come. you just have to be strong enough to wait and not depress. Everyone can have a relationship. you just need confidence ;)

    Although, you also need to have great friends... nowadays that's kinda messed up xD

    • Yeah that is true. I have great friends so there is no problem there :) Thank you!

  • Wrong but right. Guys today are wimps 10 percent (made up) get like 90 percent of the women. Asertive guys like myself are a dying breed because there so wound up over a girls opionion of them. Rejection is a part of life but most guys woyld rather play coy than risk taker and they suffer hard for it

  • In a perfect world, guys would go after what they want, but in reality that is not the case. You need to show some interest if you want attention. Tell your friends you also like the guy, let them pass it on to him, and then see if he approaches. Or give him some eye contact/smile. Or, god forbid, say hi!

  • Don't worry about it, you're not even over 18 yet. If you're average or above average looking and in shape you will have plenty of guys hitting on you in college/work ;)

    • I am actually in my 20's lol.. I don't know why it says under 18...minor mistake. But why would guys my age tell my friends that I am attractive but not even talk to me? I am friendly and not intimidating at all!

    • Oh well hey there bby ;). Lol jk but I don't know, maybe you just have bad luck with meeting shy guys or maybe you're not going to the right places? Just to test things out, try going to a bar or club with some friends and see how many guys hit on each of you. That is by no means a good place to meet guys but I mean just as a test since most guys will flirt with girls in that situation.

    • Always the creepiest or oldest guys at bars have "hit on" me. When I go with my friends, I don't go to meet guys. At clubs it is easy to meet Meatheads

  • Something is intimidating them. Figure out what it is. Why shouldn't guys be too scared to talk to girls?

    • Or maybe they don't really find me cute at all and it is just b.s. Sorry I get fed up after it happening more than a dozen times. But thanks for the honesty :)

  • When you put yourself out there is it forced or did you find the inner you and are comfortable around people now so your words flow freely. I'm a bit off put by a woman if what she says sounds forced. If she tries to hard to let me know she's there it is also a bit off putting. She could be cute but if she does either of these it's not likely I will pursue. I don't know if this is the case or not., just a thought.

    • I am genuine and I smile a lot. Maybe I am not overly flirtatious but I am friendly.

  • Guys don't chase as much these days. Just, why do it? And I don't know how "social media" is making it easier.

    • Well if someone told my friend that I am "cute" (or so they say), and I told my friend that the guy is cute, why won't the guy make a move? It is so childish.

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    • We're in an age where women are held up as being equal or smarter/strong all that than guys. Maybe the younger generation of males is taking that to heart. Try putting yourself out there if you like a guy. It's fairly close to misery, which is why I'm guessing you want the guy to do it.

    • If a woman has to pursue, doesn't that mean that is guy is "not that into you?" I wouldn't even know how to pursue a man.

What Girls Said 1

  • Guys are shy. Only the most bold will really approach or hit on girls most of the time. I personally have never really liked most of the guys who make all the first moves. They can often be creepy or douchey. To get the good guys, the girl usually has to do SOMETHING to show interest.

    It sounds like you *are* cute. Guys just need a little more help getting to know you.

    • aw thanks I really appreciate your answer! I read too many magazines and such that say "if the guy doesn't approach than he is just not that into you" and all of that, and it discourages me at times :(

    • Yeah, that's all a bunch of crap. Often, the more a guy is into you, the less likely he is to approach you because most guys get NERVOUS around girls they like. If you show a little friendly interest, you should get more bites :) You are probably really pretty, and that can make it hard, just try to act a little silly and funny and guys will loosen up.