Is this appropriate over text?

So I asked this really pretty girl out on a date and she said yes. I've seen her around but we were more acquaintances than friends. We went on the date, which went OK but it wasn't stellar. Anyway, I see her again later in the week and she's pretty cold towards me. There's a 1% chance she's just shy but I'm 99% sure she's not interested, which was OK with me. I did sorta like her though so I'd like to be her friend, and I texted her that I understand she's not interested in me which I'm fine with, and that we should be friends. Is that too awkward or weird?


Most Helpful Girl

  • No, you did the right thing by telling her how you felt and by being direct and honest with her :)

    That's not weird; you just acted after you saw her reaction.

    It's not awkward either; you're preventing the situation from becoming awkward XD

    If she has a little of common sense, she'll see it that way too ^_^

    • thank you for B.A. :)

    • It's the best answer because its what you wanted to here.

    • you talking to me or the asker?

      And I said what I though was the truth... and only now did I see that I'm the only positive answer XDD .

      But I still told what I thought was right: if he's being honest to her and to himself by doing this, why should it be wrong to do it? And I honestly believe this is not something that'll make things awkward, like other people did... When people TALK to each other, it is rarely awkward. Usually, is revealing, and that is never awkward: is problem-solving.

What Girls Said 12

  • "It's only awkward if you make it awkward..." - I don't know who said it...but I live by this quote...

    Unless she makes it awkward... There are very few things that are naturally awkward...unless it's morally wrong... Like pedophilia or necrophilia... So... No I don't think it was.

    Actually, I perfer guys like you, I hate it when a guy likes a girl and she doesn't like him back and he totally drops her as a friend.

    It's happened to me countless times and I hate it. It's like punishing them for not loving you. They can't change it, so it's almost like hating them for being white, or asian, it's stupid. I could see if you dated them for months or had sex. lol...

    Well, she's kind of pulling a lame girl move for not telling you verbally it wouldn't work... But it probably was just an attempt to not hurt you, even though is is just as bad as saying We humans never do seem to learn from our mistakes.. Haha. Anyway. If it was me, I'd be relieved and apologize for being so mean, and we'd definitely be friends...

    But all girls are different.

    Good luck!

  • No not at all! That's super mature and very smooth. good work! :)

  • No, I don't think it is awkward or weird. Not at all. It is straightforward. More people should be like that.

  • its not awkward. makes you look desperate though. chicks don't dig that ;). "disappear" and let her wonder ;)

  • No no no no no. OMG. Well, you probably just blew that one. People who are disinterested don't act cold. People who are upset with you act cold. I'm assuming you hadn't contacted her between your date and the time you saw her later in the week. She was probably annoyed by that. And she would only be annoyed by that if she was at least somewhat interested in you.

    Never ever ever ever ever tell a girl you know she isn't interested in you, unless you want her to not be interested in you. It comes off as weak and needy. Not attractive at all. Not to mention kind of offensive if she actually did like you.

    • I completely disagree. A girl who would be cold and expect the guy to read her mind after one date is really immature. I mean, who has time to deal with people like this? If she's upset, she should have said so and not have played mind games. But this is a hypothetical situation so I won't go to deeply into it. He was giving her the chance to say she might have been interested and was actually very nice about it. But I do agree with you, saying she isn't interested might sound unconfident.

    • I'm not sure you actually do disagree that someone who is cold might be upset. I'm totally with you on that being an immature way of handling it, though.

    • That's true. I don't disagree on the upset part. I think you're right about that. But that drives me crazy. I've had friends and boyfriends who do this. And it drives me crazy. I'd stop asking them what's wrong because it would only encourage them to continue acting like babies

  • No that's cool. at least your not trying to force yourself on her or annoy her, you get the message. And by texting her you might get to know if the think/feel she same way. Iwish more guys would get that message.

  • Don't tell her you know she's not interested. It sounds like you are not confident in yourself. Just be patient. It would be better to pursue her a little more than give up so easily. Good luck to you.

  • Happens all the time.

    But why did you say we SHOULD be friends?

  • Don't text to ask her out. Text to see if it's okay to call her, then call to ask her out.

  • I don't know if that was really necessary, but as long as neither of you make things awkward it should be fine.

  • i could see it being awkward.


What Guys Said 3

  • Yeah, probably not necessary to text her that. I would think it'd come off as pretty awkward. I mean if you had some history sure, but after one date it just seems like making a bit too much of a deal. Just be cool, if she wants to be your friend she'll come around after a while. If not, oh well. Just be normals and treat her no differently.

    • I was planning on treating her normally, which would involve basically not contacting her outside of regularly seeing her (I see her once a week at work), but I didn't want to come off as rude after not having said anything after a date? I'd prefer not to ask her out on a second date just so she can reject me that way.

    • Yeah, fair enough. Probably would've been better just to not say anything and just act like nothing happened.

  • Nooo don't text her that. Just wait for a while man. Don't ever put yourself in that situation. Just casually talk to her again. Then text her again asking her out on a date. Better yet try giving her a call. I know it's hard to call a girl if you shy but once you do it you won't be as scare the next time.

  • Why the hell do people text these things. Like when something is about a relationship it should be done in person! Ur counter argument: well it is awkward. It's suppose to be awkward! That's what makes it fun and interesting. Ladies, if your asked out don't you sort of want there to be that sort of awkwardness (In a cute way of course)? She will have more respect for you anyways

    • I can't really get to talk to her alone in person without being a stalker (I see her once a week at work, and there's no privacy there). I asked her out over the phone.

    • To me,this is by the far the best answer.I agree 100%...why the hell do people text things that should either be said face to face,or at least over the phone.Personally,I think it IS inappropriate and awkward for her.I think its because this generation is just use to using a very impersonal way (texting) of communicating with someone to avoid responsibility.I think it is commendable that he was honest with his feeling but,I would have taken another approach.