How do you feel when a guy comes up to you that you are not interested in?

Ladies, how do you feel when a guy comes up and talks to you and he isn't that attractive?

Do you look at him and think "this guy has no chance"?

Do you feel uncomfortable?

Do you want to get out of the situation as fast as possible?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with the ladies so far. Of course it depends on how the guy approaches me. Usually when this happens to me, the guy is real casual about striking up a conversation and I'm not usually presumptuous enough to assume he is hitting on me. And I am a friendly and fairly outgoing person that loves to meet new people so I will talk to him while trying to be clear through my body language that I'm not interested in him "that way". And usually the first opportunity where it feels natural I will let him know that I have a boyfriend (or now, that I am married) so that he can get out with his dignity before he actually starts doing anything more obvious.

    But like the other ladies said, I won't dismiss a guy based solely on his looks unless he looks REALLY hideous. And I gotta say I haven't met too many guys who I think fall into that category. But I have an uncanny sense for people's character and can almost always tell in the first couple minutes whether I like someone or not. A guy who I don't feel something for in the first few minutes. I might grow to appreciate him down the road as I get to know him. But "giving him a chance" never works for me in those situations. It inevitably fizzles out fast. I know it sounds crazy but I knew 5 minutes into my first date with my husband that I would fall in love with him. Didn't know we'd end up married but I knew where my feelings were going to go. So my answer is based on finding a guy attractive or unattractive in this way. Not based on his looks.

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What Girls Said 7

  • The only way that I actually say that a guy "has no chance" is if he's been overly creepy or moving too fast. I don't turn down guys because they're unattractive. In fact, some of my biggest crushes have been on guys that my friends had NO idea what I saw in that person because they didn't find him attractive. Now, if I don't know a guy, and he's unattractive to me, I'll be honest, he's got more of a challenge ahead of him. Because I'd be lying if I said appearance didn't factor into it. But I'll give a guy a chance. Even if we don't have any sexual/romantic chemistry at all, he might be a good friend I just haven't met yet. :)

    Now, if he starts getting creepy or weird on me, then I'll usually make an excuse to get out. If I'm at a club or something with friends, I'll take one who doesn't have a guy at the moment and drag her off to the bathroom with me, lol. And yes, I've been known to tell the "I've got a boyfriend" lie if a guy is too relentless. I even told a guy I was a lesbian once so that he would go away, because he seemed like the sort that the boyfriend thing wouldn't faze him. It was only half a lie. ;)

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  • I usually try to be kind without leading him on. I'm willing to give someone a chance even if he's not that attractive, but he would need to demonstrate his super personality pretty quickly before I lose interest. It makes me uncomfortable, but mostly because I don't want to hurt his feelings since he got up the courage to come talk to me. I am willing to carry on a conversation or whatever, but I usually try to extricate myself pretty quickly since it can be pretty awkward. I really don't want to discourage him from talking to other girls in the future, so I try to do it in a nice way that won't make him feel like he drove me off.

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  • Do you mean a guy you're not interested in (don't have chemistry with) or a guy who's unattractive?

    Either way, I'm probably not going to tell him just to get away. If he acts friendly and interested in getting to know me (he doesn't just talk about himself or just talk about how pretty/sexy I am) then I will be glad to talk to him.

    If he isn't the kind of guy I'd immediately pick out from a distance (and remember, girls have very varied tastes! ) but he takes care of himself, I'll probably get a little crush. If he just doesn't care about how he looks, I will not ever be attracted to him.

    So feel better--approaching a girl and acting friendly is hugely attractive, but this doesn't give you license not to care about how you look at all. Because even if you aren't "OMG look at that hot guy" attractive to every woman on earth, having a little style and hygiene will get you far with a girl you're treating well.

    Good luck!

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  • This is the first thing I think: "Oh! Not again! :( " I hate to be a heart breaker, So that's why I act nice and tell them that I respect both him and his feelings but I have a Boyfriend who I am in love with. Then I apologize and then if he is one of my friends I tell him that we can remain friends and I quickly add a smile and a nice goodbye.

    If he is some stranger in a bar or a club I apologize saying I have a Boyfriend! And that's it.

    sometimes white lies are necessary:p

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  • Well even if the guy is ugly, I'm partly flattered that he was interested in me. It's a good boost for the ego. I would probably just chat with him for a little while, (I like to talk! ). I wouldn't be mean to him unless he was too aggressive or disrespectful. The only way I would be like "Ew" is if he looked like he didn't take care of himself or if he was creepy.

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  • Well when there is a guy that likes me but I don't like them I sometimes feel uncomfortable but it depends on the way the guy acts. If he is nice and friendly then I might have a little conversation with him and might just become friends but if he comes on way to interested in me I would prob just say "sorry I have a boyfriend" or some lie like that.

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  • Well I am usually am nice to him, just because he is ugly I don;t shun him off, that is low and shallow. But if I am not attracted to him I don't think anything of the conversation. I just think he is being friendly, but if he keeps on and acting like he likes me I try to let him know through body language and things like that I don't like him. But anyway, no I don't think he has no chance just because he is ugly. I could get to know him and begin to like him. I don't know out with people because of how they look, but it is important to be attracted to them physically and emotionally. If they are ugly, that doesn't mean I won't be attracted to them. I hope that all makes sense to you.

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