Am I Being Shallow?

Okay, so the guy I've been in and out of a relationship with over the past four years has really made me think twice about myself lately. I've loved him and hated him for his personality and I keep coming back for more. But I can't help but notice that his personal style is less than flattering. I've tried to let him know that certain outfits just don't work for him or that he needs a tan but he just doesn't seem to get it...

I've dated guys who have better style and social graces and although he's been good to me, in public its hard for me to get past those things. Is it wrong to dump him just because of his style? And not only that, but he doesn't take care of himself physically either, I'm very health conscious and he can't even skip rope without coughing up a lung. Am I wrong just because I'd rather have a guy who looks after his style and physical appearance a little better?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not wrong, and you don't sound at all like you only care about appearances You should make it obvious that you want him to make more of an effort, and then the ball will be in his court. As I see it, one should at least try to work with what one has, and not be an untended garden.


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What Guys Said 1

  • "he can't even skip rope without coughing up a lung" That's funny!


What Girls Said 1

  • No. There are a lot of people who say they don't care about he physical stuff. They are liars. The outside is what attracts you to the inside. If you want someone who looks cleaner and takes care of him self. Then that's a good thing. Because I'm sure you deserve someone like that. Someone clean and good natured. It shows you respect yoru self. And that you'll stand by what you want. You're nto shallow, you're just honest.

    • Thank you for your answer. I know you can't change people, but a huge part of me just wants him to evolve into that person I seek. he's got a great heart and that's why I love him, but when we are together, it seems like its those physical elements that are driving us apart. Any advice on how I should talk to him about breaking up?

    • Just talk to him. Don't plan it or anything it'll make you forget why you're doing what you're doing. Just wait for a pause iin conversation and say soemthing like" So.. I was thinking.." And say what you want to say. Maybe befor eyou break itoff you should voice your complaints on his physical appearance. But youa re right You can't change people. So just See if he tried. He at least deserves a fair shot to keep you. Other then that. I would just wait until you feel comfortable enough to do it.