I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, any help?

I have been wondering this, since I moved back to my home town, things are a bit different from big city life to small time life. I have noticed that on the weekends you have to go to the bars to meet anybody, I try to meet girls at the bar, and I have had some hits, but nothing that I think will ever come of it. I do like to drink, but not get drunk, I am that shy guy, that life of the party after a while and everybody knows me, I am that big brother type, but I can't seem to keep a hold of any girl in my life, I don't know if it's because I am a nice guy, and they are just not use to it or what? But they always leave for that bad boy type (which I am, I just don't treat them like a piece of trash).


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Bad women aren't the only type of women that go to bars. Granted, it's a lot easier to find a great woman if you meet at a venue of a similar interest, I. E. A bicycle club or concert or something. But as far as bars go, hows your body language? Do you convey yourself as a strong interesting guy, or do you come of somewhat needy? How much fun do you have at these bars? Are you sincerely enjoying yourself or are you too concerned with trying to meet a nice girl. If you meet a woman, don't show interest right off the bat unless there's something you sincerely like about her. Do you touch these woman you meet? People in general like being touched, not in a creepy way, but in a casual way. Find little reasons to touch her, but don't be clingy. Be flirty and fun. Remember to have fun, that is key.

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What Girls Said 4

  • The bar isn't an ideal place to meet a woman. Plenty of mature, stable women are attracted to nice guys who are not necessarily the life of the party. A guy who maybe reserved and shy, but when you get to know him is wonderful. Kind of like a kinder surprise...on the outside it is full of foil, and when you finally break into the middle it is full of surprises. A woman who is patient and willing to put the time and effort in will want to know you to the core. That is more important than anything else. As their are stupid, bad boy types their are plenty of a women who go after them. Sad, but true. These women are only interested in surface relationships devoid of any real meaning or maturity. Believe me, their are women out their who will appreciate a guy who is a strong, silent type who runs deep with genuine kindness. She just needs to have the proper patience and maturity. I hope that helps you some.

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  • You just gotta give it some time. Plus I don't always think the bar is the best place to pick up women. What about meeting someone at work or class? You sound like a quality guy but I mean searching for the right person takes a lot of time.

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  • Well that's a good thing that you don't treat girls like trash, later on the girl that you have will appreciate you because you are sweet to her. Don't go to bars to find a nice girl, that's the first place you should NEVER look for. Only bad girls go to clubs, from my experience many girls that I know here, they always go to clubs on Fridays or with their friends every night, (bad idea). Go to libraries or coffee shops, etc. You could always find a sweet girl there.

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  • You don't have to treat them like trash and if you get a hold of the right girl that likes shy boys you will have one ok because you don't have to be bad to get a girl

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What Guys Said 3

  • If you stick your hand in a trash can, most like you're going to pick out garbage.

    How's your friend base?

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  • You need to find the fine line between nice guy and bad ass. Not many like either extreme.

    I've heard s couple girls say that nice guys immediately make them put their guard up because they feel like the guy wants something.

    You can also try going back to school, or moving somewhere else.



    Cheers

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  • The problem is, most of the girls you meet in bars aren't the kind you want to form relationships with. Casual relationships at best. You need to broaden your horizons, and look at some different places for dates.

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