People see me as stuck up, not the brightest and a bit of a bimbo. I'm none of those things, how can I change that?

Recently the subject of "first impressions" came up with some friends and since I've only known them for about a year, two of them told me their first impression of me. It's a bit the same, they thought of me as a beautician, hairdresser, ... a bit stuck up, not the brightest girl in the class, etcetera.

Now I like to dress nice, wear make up moderately, I'm mostly quite elegant (e. g. I usually sit with a straight back and have my handbag near me, not that I sit like this: blotebenen.files.wordpress.com/.../etiquette.jpg) But I'm tired that people judge me on my looks. When the very few of them do make an effort to get to know me and ask me what I studied, the look of surprise comes across their face when I say I have a masters degree in criminology.
I don't want to dress different or stop wearing make up or change who I am, but I'm fed up with people seeing me as a bimbo or someone who only cares about looks or talks about shopping.

Any advice on this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, if that's really you in your profile photo, I don't think you look stuck up, dumb, or a bimbo at all. You just look like a normal girl. I'm not sure why people would be getting those impressions of you but maybe it has more to do with how you act rather than your physical appearance. If you are somewhat quiet, reserved, and "proper" (like sitting straight up as you said), then perhaps they just assume those things.

    I don't think you should change though. There's nothing wrong with those things, and you shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone. Like I said, I did not get that impression from simply looking at your photo so I'm sure not everyone thinks that upon first meeting you.

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    • Thank you, it's nice to hear someone say that :) Yeah, that's me in my profile pic, I was working for an agence as a hostess. Usually I'm wearing a black blazer (I have pink ones as well though I lost the courage to wear them since I heard that) and my handbag at the "crease of my arm", probably that way of wearing it gives off a bit of a stuck up vibe.

      I don't think I'm quiet or reserved, I love to talk and make jokes (stupid ones and I laugh easily as well).
      It just sucks hearing that knowing quite some other people think the same way and consider that a reason to not get to know someone.

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    • Thanks for the advice! :)

    • No problem:)

What Guys Said 4

  • It really took some thinking to answer this question. The complication is: imagine your dressing style is the "root cause" of the first impression people have from you... that your question would be like "I want a safer driving style but still want to reach Antwerp from Brussels in 12 minutes".

    However, thinking about it and looking at your pofile picture... the first impression the picture is giving is a young, spontaneously smiling person. So I think the best idea is: ask these friends which aspect of your look triggered the first impression. Than consider to change little details in your style.

    Perhaps an idea could be to look at pictures and/or visit some internet fora or blogs, from ladies that need to have a professional look for work: hostesses, stewerdesses, restaurant waiters,...
    There may be little things in their style which could be inspiring.
    Wish you best luck with it, take care!

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  • you can't change that. they see you as they want to see you.

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  • How outgoing are you?

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    • I'll talk to anyone present. At first it could be possible I'm not as outgoing to someone as I usually am, but most of the time I do my best to talk to everybody in the group.

  • It's difficult to say without actually interacting with you.
    The one comment I do want to make is that I know a girl that is always dressed up, sits with her back straight, legs crossed, handbag in her lap, and no smile. Now that's someone who looks stuck up! Not because she's dressed up and sits straight but because of the rest of her body language.
    We joke that she's the ice queen because she really is stuck up, I've had issues with her nasty attitude and now I ignore her.

    You sound nothing at all like a girl like that. by the way your links broken, take out the ")" at the end of the link.

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    • I do laugh quite a bit, but when I'm just looking around I can look quite angry/mad apparently. That I come across as stuck up doesn't bother me as much as coming across as a bimbo though :/

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