I've had a recent revelation. I talked with someone about losing a couple pounds and they simply repeated to me, "You are not a better person because you are smaller" and it really hit me. We focus so much on looks. I, along with other girls I know, tend to judge others too much on looks. I hear people make fun of other people because they've put on a few pounds, or they're too skinny, or want to be friends with them just because they look good. But just because they look good doesn't mean they're a cool or good person. It just means that somehow their DNA and genes formed in a way that is pleasing to your eyes. It says nothing about the actual person. All over GAG there's people asking if they're attractive or not, and I'm sure the opinions they receive have an affect on how they view themselves. But it shouldn't. Why do we ask what we can improve in our looks instead of in our personality? The old cliche is that personality is the only thing that lasts, but that's so true. It is hard to look past looks sometimes but in the end they don't matter that much. Many of you probably understand this, but it's new to me. Just a thought.
Most Helpful Guy
And a very well spoken thought, asker.
How a person looks in terms of things which are strictly genetic (facial structure, eye color, etc.) says nothing about that person's character. I'm a big believer in treating people equally in regards to respect. I have a friend with FAS who is very sad and lonely. I've another who just never had much of a pretty face and sadly she has been talking suicide. My brother's friend, who had osteogenesis imperfecta, recently died a fifty-something year old virgin and she had a very sad life, I fear. Now, I am in no way suggesting that men and women should force themselves to find them attractive, but I do think that people should be aware that they are very hurt when people get upset when they called someone pretty or handsome. I can understand not being attracted to them, but actually getting upset or angry that an unattractive person is paying someone some unwanted attention is stupid at best, cruel at worst. And they face other issues. People laughing and bullying them. That's just spectacularly cruel.
Now, that being said allow to respectfully disagree with you on some things. Firstly, sometimes (please note I said *sometimes*), being overweight does say something about a person's personality. Secondly, their fashion sense also sometimes (again, please note I said *sometimes*) says something about an individual's personality. For the record, my fashion sense was a constant point of contention with my wife. I wore things that made her roll her eyes to heaven and beg me to go back upstairs and change. That DOES say something about me, chiefly that I didn't care much for pop culture (she changed that a little... not much but a little). So, the aspects of our appearance that are within our power to change DO sometimes say SOMETHING about us as people.1