In need of advice for coping with a newly broken heart...

Alright, so I finally broke it off with my boyfriend. If you would like to know why or are interested in our history of issues you can check out the other two posts where I try to resolve our issues without breaking up:



Anyway, I basically walked out the door and hopped on a plane because he could not make up his mind on what he wanted in his life. The suckiest part of all this is that he told me, "If we were to break up, you would have to be the one to do it because I'm not strong enough and I don't have it in me to ask you to leave. (Although he made it clear he wants me gone).

So, he wanted me gone. I left.

I am now well over a thousand miles away, back in my home town, trying to mend my broken heart. I need tips, tricks, distractions...ANYTHING you can dish out at me that will help me nurse myself back to a reasonable state of mind.

I am suffering from major heart-ache syndrome: No desire to eat, no desire to do anything but mope, wanna call the ex, wanna curl up in a hole and disappear...I know all this is quite normal to feel after a two year break up but it's not healthy any I need some advice to make this tolerable.

Please and Thanks.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Im sorry to hear that you are feeling like this.

    I find the best way to get over someone is to first of all aknowledge you are ging to have to hurt for a bit-sit there and have a good old cry and let it all out,this is part of the process,its inevitable so you have to accept that.

    Then get a pen and a bit of paper and write down all the reasons you left that person,seeing it written down on paper helps make sense of things-someone told me that once and I really found it to help.

    You then need to focous on yourself and how to make yourself feel good again-get a new hair style,get your nails done,think about your career,listen to positive move-on anything you think will cheer you up even if it is just tempory.

    I would also think about some new hobbies/interests,this will give you somthing to do to take your mind off him,its positive and it will also make you feel good about yourself.

    Heartache is horrible,but everyone goes through it at some point-i find remembering that can be helpful?

    There are lots of things you can do to take your mind off it for a while-read a book,join sites on the net,watch a movie,go for a walk,write a book,spring clean,clean out your wardrobe,hook up with mates...whatever,anything helps.

    Talk about it,ring your mates nd chew their ears off about it.

    The only way to get over it is time,and telling yourself that is half the battle,everyday it will hurt a little less...goodluck I don't know if any of these help but I tried.

    • That helped a lot, thanks for taking the time to share your insights with me. I usually keep a journal but I've been so self-absorbed with my emotions that I hadn't thought to write in it. I shall get on that. :) Thank you.

What Guys Said 1

  • You're correct, what you're feeling is normal, and it's mostly a matter of time.

    My suggestions are a) stay active, especially with daily exercise and b) don't talk about the ex or the breakup too much. To an extent it's normal and healthy to vent some steam. But it's also easy to start wallowing in it ... I've done it, too. c) Don't contact him, because no good will come of it.

    • Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it. Not calling him is going to be the hardest, but I will try my best.

What Girls Said 1

  • A heart can be broken; but it keeps beating just the same. I always like to do things that I didn't do in the relationship because it annoyed the other person, or they didn't like it (but I really enjoy it). An example would be going out to eat sushi or listening to dance music really loud or drawing happy faces on the bathroom mirror after a hot shower. haha just do the little things that make you happy :)

    • That is some excellent advice. I am going to sit down and make a list of all the things I enjoyed that he didn't and get busy. :) Thank you so much.