What's most attractive about me, what is most unattractive?

From my qualities, I'd like to know whats most attractive about me, what is most unattractive, what I should be improving on, getting rid off, so on. Any advice or comment will be appreciated, and please be brutally honest because I really want to see myself through the eyes of others, thanks

My general appearance

I am 23, standing at 5"9, about slim to average build weighing around 150 lbs. I have been told that I look average to above average. I dress casually to slightly well dressed.

My positive qualities or things I have going on

1) I will be done with school, getting my BA soon, well educated

2) I am intelligent

3) I have high self efficacy. I believe I can do anything the average person can do or even better. I am born with some natural talent, so I believe

4) I have a sense humor, like to laugh, can pick up comical situations but not necessarily good at making jokes or making people laugh.

5) well mannered, somewhat conservative and reserved

6) I'm honest, ethical, trustworthy, confidential, loyal.

7) philosophical, thoughtful. There is more to life than just money, power, and sex to me.

8) nature loving, I enjoy the outdoor and anything relating to nature, birds, trees, so on.

9) spontaneous lover? I don't have a word for this but I'm the type of guy who loves to take his girl out in the rain for a walk. Dance with her under a starry night high on a hill. I like to be the one who is there and cuddle her during storm and so on.

10) I like to explore places, see what is there to do and eat

My negative qualities or my insecurities

1) I don't really know what I will be doing in the future career wise. This lack of direction is one of my biggest confidence killer. I feel like I can't date or be in a relationship

because of this

2) Although I did say I have high efficacy seem to have self confidence on top, I did not say I have social confidence. I lack confident with people and social situations like public speaking for instance. I can be self conscious in public.

3) I don't talk much because the things people talk about are not of my interest.

4) Some people have said I appear to be the serious type. It's true, but I can relax and goof around only when I see the people around me are relax and like to goof around.

5) I very much have a mind of my own. If there is something I don't like or don't want to do, I will outright say it so. Perhaps Im rigid and inflexible.

6) I also have been told that Im too care-free. I don't put a lot of energy to things unless I see it as important or worthy.

7) I'm not overly ambitious nor driven. I will be happy with a stable career, which I like of course, that can support myself and perhaps the ones I love.

8) I have a small circle of friends

So if a person has these kinds of qualities, would a girl generally consider dating him and possible loving him genuinely? And please answer the questions first listed.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Its funny, you sound just like the male version of me. Minus the physical stats (That would be scary! Lol). But more so, I don't think that any of your "negative qualities" are that negative or abnormal. Seriously, if you and I have this much in common its an easy assumption to guess that there are more out there like us. It shouldn't be a question on whether or not a girl will date you or love you, its will you find the person compatible enough to love you for who you are good/bad and vice versa. In order to find love you have to be positive towards it. Negativity attracts negativity. So stay positive about love and women and you'll be fine.

    • Your words are certainly wise. I am also equally surprised to meet someone like me. At times, I think I'm eccentric and unique, not necessarily in a special way. I kept telling myself that I'll find a friend or a partner like me one day but never have seen or heard of such person. But who knows, maybe you're right. Maybe there are more people like us than I have thought. And yes, I will try to stay positive about future relationships. Thanks, thumbs up ;)

What Girls Said 1

  • We Sound alike, Its attractive that you are outdoorsy and care about nature, you seem romantic also


What Guys Said 2

  • Not too many people are good public speakers.. Matter of fact, I believe it is the single most thing that the majority of people have as one of their primary fears so nothing bad there.

    From an executive point of view for hiring an individual, which sometimes can be seen like a first date - both sides are assessing a good fit, except we'll pay you :) - I'll tell you that out of your negatives, (1) (3) (5) (6) (7) are signs that would kill the hiring process for me.

    1) Not too many people know what they will be doing five or ten years from know but they should have a very good strong hunger for where they want to be! Many people say they want to be successful or rich but they just don't have the hunger for it... They treat it like a lottery. If it happens, it will happen but they don't put /any/ effort into it.

    3) I don't know you but when people tell me that what others discuss is not interesting, I get a feeling that they either believe they are above those people or they just want others to cater to their needs. Any discussion can start off by talking about an Apple then move onto Bees, Cats, Dogs, and end up discussing Zebra's... It only takes a bit of effort by listening, showing interest, and building a bridge from one discussion to another so I don't buy the excuses when people say that "They only discussed items which were of no interest to me"

    5) I'll give you credit for stating what you don't like but you need to be flexible. You'll miss out on quite a few opportunities, in life and relationships, if you'll remain rigid... You may even surprise yourself a few times if you just relax and do stuff outside your comfort zone... at least be open minded and try some things at least once before saying "no more."

    6) Being laid back is good... being laid back to the point where you don't put energy into things unless /you/ see them as important or worthy can backfire. If your girl asks you to visit the parents out-of-state for the weekend and /you/ don't see it as important or worthy, how is she supposed to feel about it? Being that care-free gives me an impression of an individual who is unreliable and in work and relationships, you want to be able to rely on the other individual.

    7) Ties in with (1). You've got to have a hunger... To me the drive of an individual is way more important than their education or even current knowledge set because a person who has the drive of a tank will, and usually, accomplishes anything they set their mind on... If they happen to fail, which happens, their drive will put them back on course and in the right direction.

    As an aside, (7) will actually be liked by a few companies who like to have "lifers" on staff since they enjoy employing people who are just happy with what their given but I always worry about these people in todays economy which is quite turbulent... Lifers don't tend to cope well with unemployment or being laid off since their ambition was just to "work" and that was taken away from them.

    • About (3), I hope I have explained it a bit better with krisjeans' comment. I normally don't mind small talk on those 1on1 talk. But when it comes to group chat, I usually stay quiet and zone out if the subjects not interesting to me. I don't think I'm better than people nor do I need catering. It's just that the subjects are too superfluous and do not carry any personal values

  • I'm a guy. I'm not gay. just commenting.

    your best quality is humor.

    your worst quality is you don't talk much because people talk about stuff that doesn't interest you. that makes you sound like a pretentious tool.

    • I should've made it more clear when I said I don't like to talk much. It seems like people think I'm stuck up and don't respond to people. Truth is, I respond positively to those who talk to me. It's just when they subject of the group conversation is not something I care about, I just zone out or go off to do my own thing