Makeup: Is it scaring away guys?

I wear very heavy black makeup. (note my pictures)

I was recently talking with a old friend of mine whom is several years older than me. He says to me that my makeup could be scaring off guys.

I honestly don't really understand what he meant by that.

I doubt it's the cliche "gothic" thing because I do not fit into that stereotype really. And I am not a fan of stereotypes at all. I believe that they should stay in high school.

Anyways, explain how my heavy look could be scaring away guys.

Please and thank you.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, if you're over 18 you look like an immature teen. If that's the look you're going for than whatever. But you need to look like an adult if want a specific kind of guy in you age bracket. That look tells me a few things whether it's true or not. List: highly emotional, drug addict, unemployed, punk kid. Unfair, so what, that's what you're putting out. Perception is reality. It happens everywhere. So please don't be so surprised by certain reactions if you act or dress a certain way. Those things actually matter in a civilized society where appearances matter.

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    • Wow, somewhat true ya

    • I think your correct. Even though it's not right or fair of people to judge, they will no matter what. So how you dress or, in this case, do your make up, is how people will perceive and judge you whether you like it or not.

    • I think I liked your answer the most. Thank you.

What Guys Said 18

  • To be blatantly honest with you, I would not approach a woman like that because I would attribute it to some form of mental illness such as depression, bipolar, etc. Its sort of like a big sign saying "Hi! I'm emo and cut myself when I feel down!" It may not be the actual case but it is the message your makeup is conveying.

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  • From your pictures, you do have a bit of a "Goth" look to an outsider, because it really is pretty thick. I'd say it's a bit intimidating to anyone who doesn't also do it. Some guys may not get a warm or approachable feeling from you. If you generally wear darker colors that might also give the impression that you don't want to be bothered.

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  • I'm totally used to it... my brother used wear dark eye makeup ala Captain Jack from pirates fame. But some men simply equate it with 'goth' and want nothing to do with it or the culture. You may not be a fan of stereotypes, but they exist nonetheless. It's something we just have to deal with and work towards eliminating the stereotype. That takes time.

    As long as your happy and comfortable with yourself, you will attract those who have similar traits. But you can't change the way certain people will react and it would be naive to think otherwise. Some guys will instinctively think about how their mother will react if they bring you home :) it happens. YES we are not all pigs and ass's and do consider our parents when courting a woman.

    Hope all this rambling helps. Good luck and cheers!

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  • I might be a bit weird, but here goes.

    1: Too much make up = turn off. (what defines too much is anyone's guess. If it looks caked on, too much).

    2: This might just be me, but I get turned off at any female that uses anti-aging stuff. Why? Because it's not real. It's all fake gunk and any effect is only in the mind of the beholder. There's like 2 or 3 anti-wrinkle creams that work, and all 3 are prescription only (you have to see a doctor), because they work in the dermis level. So anyone buying anti-aging crap I consider to be incompatible with me... to put it nicely. (I'm a nerd and a sucker for science).

    My Girlfriend wears occasionally make up to look nice, mostly a light blush and a natural looking lippy, but that's pretty rare. Most of the time she doesn't wear a thing. :P

    PS. From your picture you look fine with what make up you have on.

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  • well to be honest your very attractive but you need to lay off the makeup. guys like girls who look like they enjoy life and with lack makeup girls kinda look like they are depresed. And just like darwin stated about woman, men want healthy happy woman who they can go somwhere with they won't start a relationship with you if they think your going to have problems ehs going to deal with down the road. I don't mean to sound like an ass but that's how the male mind works and I'm trying to get right to the point

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  • I am afraid it IS the gothic thing. You may not like it, but everyone makes subconscious evaluations based on looks. Your thick makeup makes you seem intense and serious, as well as a bit antisocial due to the style's counter-culture history. If that isn't who you are, then think about altering your style. Doing just the top eyelids and/or just by the eyelashes can make it more stylized and sexy, while still bringing focus to your pretty blue eyes.

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  • Yea don't take this too hard, but if I saw you at a party I would make a mental note to stay away. You're really pretty though so why don't you try just going out a few days without makeup and see if you notice a difference?

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  • That sort of look is cool for high school. Once you grow up you'll realize that it's really not as popular out here. Perhaps it will take some time before EVERYONE is used to it.

    Lots of guys LOVE a natural look for girls. I've never been a fan of make up, it just makes things seem "fake".

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  • Probably a biased person here but I like your make up. You have bright eyes so dark eye make up really brings them out. As far as the whole depressed emo bull forget about it. You like your style. That's all there is to it.

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  • Heavy makeup actually scares some guys. It kinda makes you look trashy or emo which most guys think emo girls are creepy. I actually prefer light makeup on a girl. Take some of it off let your TRUE beauty shine through. Makeup is fake but your features are real. Show them off. What are you masking behind there? There's nothing to hide let others see your face :)

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  • ALL I'm gonna say is that there is a thing as too much makeup.

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    • And girls sometimes do not know when they cross that line... :/

    • But then again, goths wear a lot of it anyway, so I guess it depends on the style... there are a lot of factors that determine if it is too much on a girl but I guess makeup isn't nice to ur faces through time since you use so much.

    • Yes there is, I do agree. I see it on other people just not myself.

      Strange eh?

  • depends on the guy really

    for some guys it scares them off

    for other it's hot

    for me it's one of the ways which the person is expressing himself and it doesn't scare me off at all

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    • I agree! And if some guy is going to judge you on something so relatively insignificant as how you choose to wear your make-up, then I'm betting they aren't worth it in the long run. As far as giving off a goth vibe, I think as long as you don't go overly goth with your clothing and attitude, you will be fine. "Goth" and "Emo" extend far beyond just some make-up. And what most guys want in the end is a girl who digs herself and the way she looks, heavy make-up or not. Screw the nay-sayers!

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    • Sure but it depends how her bf/friends feel around her (unless they ain't goth or whatever fashion style she is) because face it, everyone is affected by outside influence (people, media, friends, strangers even, etc...) So you know, based on common sense, I can wager her friends are mostly goth or have heavy makeup as a lifestyle so they "get along" in society together more "comfortably" in presence of others.

    • Hence, (yes hence) the boyfriend would be indeed either into the style or is wearing it.

      but goth is more than a fashionstyle.

  • First of all you look very pretty and guys like when there girl gets all dolled up...but I think most guys like a girl with the least amount of make-up on as possible... I don't want to wake up to something scary in the morning lol or not know who she is cause I have never seen her without it ...

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  • i think it depends on the girl really on whether or not it "scares" people off but is suits some girls and from you picture your one of those girls but it does look a bit gothic-esque maybe your just looking at the wrong sort of guys

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  • Sometimes less is definitely more IMHO

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  • Here's how: Heavy makeup sends the message "I'm so independent and empowered that getting with me is like playing lottery and the jackpot is AIDS."

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    • Alright. Now explain to me how it sends that message.

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    • Wow 10 down arrows? I'm gonna up one for you just 'cause I feel bad. lol

    • You are crazy. :P

  • No one else has said it, so I will: it depends on what sort of guys you are interested in.

    If you're interested in squishy, timid guys with little to no spine that would be "scared off" by your appearance, then you should reevaluate what you're wearing.

    If you're looking for the sort of guy that isn't intimidated by something as small as your makeup, the sort of guy that will like you for you and have the balls to talk to you without shivering, then you're just fine exactly as you are - don't change a thing. You look great.

    Forget all these answers telling you that your older friend is right and that your look scares people away. The only guys it will scare off are the spineless noodles that, I'm betting, you don't want to be with anyway.

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  • trust me, even if guys compliment it's still gross because it's not natural, why would a girl as pretty as you hide her face in "heavy" make up! the more experienced guys and wiser ones understand two things: the girl is either ugly and wants to hide her face and her facial features no matter how... or that she has complexities that no one can work them thru with her... So! girls please, for the love of all the religions and the nations and the creatures give us a break and look natural because those things you put on your faces and nails are really disgusting, you are a human being and not an alien!

    we want to see some beauties with our own eyes not weird eye sights that will give us nightmares!

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What Girls Said 18

  • It could be. It depends on what kind of guy you're going for, most likely. I think your makeup is too intense. It's so severe that it distracts from how pretty you are, and you really do have lovely eyes. You should try to soften it. Don't get me wrong. I love playing with makeup. Dark, colorful, elaborate, whatever. You obviously love your dark eye makeup, but I think there's a better way to do it, so that it enhances your eyes, but is still a style you feel comfortable with. You'd benefit from some practice as well, particularly in blending. I think what you're doing now looks a bit sloppy. Something like these would be infinitely more flattering on you:

    link

    link

    link

    link

    link

    The fact of the matter is that people judge based on appearance. But if someone is going to write you off completely because of how you wear your makeup, you probably don't want them anyway. I don't think you need to give up your dark makeup, you should just improve your technique. Play with it, have fun with it!

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  • Your eye makeup is *really* intense, and it doesn't look natural at all, which is what guys usually prefer to see. Honestly, it's the first thing a person is going to notice when they look at you. Not necessarily your eyes (which are really nice, by the way), but your eye makeup.

    I'm not a huge fan of Avril Lavigne, but she always did the same thing.

    Here's a picture of her with heavy eye makeup: link

    And here's a picture with it toned down: link

    See the difference? In the first one, it's like the dark makeup is just there, it's not really accentuating anything, which is the purpose of makeup. In the second one, she's actually highlighting her eyes, and with less makeup. It makes such a huge difference in her appearance.

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  • The problem is it doesn't look natural. There is a way to wear more make up but it look natural. I wear a mineral foundation, light eyeliner, mascara, and the occassional very light eyeshadow (I buy the expensive stuff to bring out the green in my eyes but still looks natural). My husband loves it because it brings out my natural look and doesn't look like I'm wearing all kinds of make-up

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  • link

    i don't think it's your style that scares off guys, I don't even think you are 'scaring' guys off... but you aren't exactly achieving the look correctly to enhance your beauty. instead of just drawing black circles around your eyes, you should try some of the tips on that site.

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  • Going from your pictures you have gorgeous eyes! You are definitely on the right track with wearing eye make-up to accentuate them, but I feel that all of the heavy black is too much and a little too harsh on your skin, and might therefore be a turn-off.

    My advice is to still wear eye make-up but opt for browns instead of all black. Here's some examples of some looks you might like to try.

    link

    link

    link

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  • Well from what I understand...guys don't like when girls wear a ton of makeup. Most guys even prefer girls when they think they look their worst so no makeup lol. By you wearing heavy black makeup they could be getting the wrong impression of you maybe being that you don't respect yourself or that you're a mean girl, not saying you apply to either of those. But a first impression is everything!

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  • ohk...first off, you don't look like you wear like ALOTTA LOTTA dark makeup. I think you're pretty nd plus, who the hell wants to be wit a guy whos shallow enuff to judge based solely on something as ridiculous as how much makeup you wear neways? don't change for anybody and one day, there'll b that one guy who won't give a damn how much dark makeup you wearr

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  • It probably does but you can still fix it! Without stop doing what you like, I would say that if you only would wear eye liner on your top and bottom inner eye lid it would look bettter and some good mascara, it could be that you even use a lot of it, itwill give you a dark look, but not that dark, and you will still look pretty (= without scaring guys away if that's what you afraid of. Byt the way you have sum nice eyes.

    I hope this helps try it out if you don't like it just be you ;]

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  • It depends on how you put your make-up on. If you put up make-up to HIDE your face. It will look like that. If you put on make-up to accentuate your natural beauty, it will look wonderfull.

    The make-up you wear... it doesn't suit you. You look like, sorry to say, an emo kid. I think you have a very cute face, but you should either change the way you make up yourself, or just let it be.

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  • it just looks REALLY scary and goth.

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    • Nah its not scary... its more.............. ha ha funny to me lol. like they want to grab peoples attention because they lacked it as a child, or because of negative views on life, poor social standings and etc. they choose a path that expresses darkness, sadness, anger... negative emotions that are not at all optimistic or positive (barely.)

      we all got styles, but I don't have a need to show myself as a rebel, a deviation to the norm of society to feel like an individual.

    • But I guess, there is more than just fashion or style or frame of mind that comes into play into this topic :S

  • i also wear dark makeup. it scares away some men because they know from looking at us that we are our own person, and don't need to be like every one else. and some men are intimadated by that.

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    • Now, why would a man be intimadated by that? Isn't it a good thing?

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    • Some people just like there makeup like that. I like the way I look with it.

    • Well its been a month but I wanted to add to WeaponZero. I'm depressed and bipolar and I go to all these meetings and all the people there look so normal and also not all goth/emos end up working a deadbeat job. I see teachers and doctors at the cyber goth/goth bars. so don't be so quick to judge darlin

  • Dark eye circles = scary, which = intimidating, which = less boys approaching.

    My advice: throw out the eye shadow. It's not doing you any good.

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  • your eyeliner makes you look emo and dark and scary

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  • Yeah, I think it is just the makeup.

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  • it might be that you put makeup on like the dude next to you, thus making you look like a dude. try putting on heavy makeup in a way that's flattering!

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    • Actually, NONE of my friends wear makeup...only me. Expect Austin and he only did that because I begged....LOL.

    • Well drawing circles around your eyes just makes you look like a raccoon. I know emo and goth girls who know how to put on beautiful makeup that doesn't look like crap.

  • yeah it's intimidating to guys.

    1) it's less attractive than say the natural look

    2) people could get negative preconceived notions of you

    3) less feminine

    unless the guy is gothic or alternative or whatever its probably gonna be intimidating and unattractive to him

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    • Lol I don't find it intimidating... its just unattractive when a girl wears too much of anything. :/

      i have a story. I was with a girl one night long time ago, met at a bar, we hooked up, I remember her wearing quite abit of makeup and we were "sweating" haha and yeah, anyways, we both spent the night at her place, in the morning, she took a shower and then I noticed she was a completely different person. Now that scared me.

      girls shouldnt have to wear so much as to become a different person.

  • yea I really think it could scare away guys. there is this girl at my school & she piles on the black mascara & eyeliner & she's so scarry looking! it makes her eyes look so unfortunate looking! so try not to wear it!

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  • it looks so ugly its scary

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    • Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine. But thank you for your opinion

    • Lol no I meant you have BEAUTIFUL EYES. the black is kinda dark and makes you un approachable like you'll rip through my soul if I speak to you.. ughh shiverrs

    • Lmao that's funny

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