What does it mean if a guy looks at you?

The long and short of it is this:

I work in a medical library and there's this doctor who I think is cute but we've not really spoken. He's been in a couple of times to renew books and I decided to remember his name (because he's cute. ) Anyway, he came in a couple of weeks ago to renew his books again and instead of asking him for his name I just typed it in. Wasn't expecting him to comment on this but he did; he asked me if I'd remembered his name and I said yes. The next time he was in (about a week or so later) I caught him looking at me three times, and each time our eyes met and he didn't look away. The first time I hadn't realized he was there, but then it was like he wanted me to see him looking, because my back was to him and I was 'casually' turning round to have a look. I tried to tell myself that maybe he was just randomly looking in my direction but I thought 3 times was a bit too much for it to be this. He hasn't been in since and I'm slowly going insane thinking about what it means. He's a doctor so of course he's busy and can't be in the library whenever he feels like it. I know I need to smile at him and see what happens but the longer I wait the more I doubt myself and what I saw!

(Oh and I don't know if this means anything, but when he came in and asked me to renew his books he was sort of leaning in to speak to me when really he probably didn't need to. )

So yes, that's it. I was just looking for a guy's opinion on this- would you be flattered if someone remembered your name? And would you stare 3 times at someone you didn't find attractive? I know you can't get inside his head but please, help a gal out! :D


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, sounds like this doctor finds you attractive. Yes, you DEFINITELY need to smile at him next time you see him, and do your best to be friendly (without seeming too aggressive). But what else should you do? Well, you work in the medical library, and you know the doctor's name. It shouldn't be that hard to find out a little more about this guy (including when his books are due, how often he borrows books, when he's likely to be back in the library next, etc). I'd start there, with some basic research, and then do your best to arrange another "chance encounter" in the library, and see how that goes. If that doesn't work, you can go to Plan B. But I'd start there.

    • Thank you for your help! Lol I'd already sort of been working on a 'plan' which is a lot like what you mentioned. I know when his books are due back, and he usually brings them back/renews on time so today I was all ready for him to come in and he didn't!. Also, I know which ward he is on but I don't have a reason to go up there. The centre I work in is where he has teaching twice a week so of course I'm lurking as much as I can during lunch. I don't know what else to do. It's frustrating! :D

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    • That would explain things- that doctors are used to being in control! It totally seems like he's got the 'upper hand' with whatever's going on here! Patience is not my strongest point but I am going to try. Usually I would be put off by not having seen him, and think that perhaps it was a sign that it wasn't meant to be, but I'm not getting that feeling this time. Thank you again for keeping me thinking positive-- I'll keep you updated! :D

    • Yes, doctors tend to be controlling people (since they are used to calling the shots regarding all aspects of care for their patients). But this doctor also happens to be a guy who appears to find you attractive. On that assumption, you may well have quite a bit of power and control here yourself. You just need to be patient, and let this guy realize how attractive you are, and how much he wants you! Again, keep flashing that sweet smile, and good luck!

What Guys Said 1

  • I would be extremely flattered if a girl remembered my names, especially if I didn't tell her or we hardly see each other. I doubt I would stare at a girl if she wasn't attractive to me. I have an interest in one now who I see at the bank and I could just watch her for endless hours, she's so amazing with personality and looks. Ask the guy out, he's probably like me and am not sure of how you feel toward him. Flirt some to bait his feelings out. Good luck.

    • Thank you!! It's great to get a guy's perspective on this! :) I was wracking my brains and worrying that he would be weirded out by my remembering his name but if he was he wouldn't have looked at me.

      I don't know if I would be confident enough to ask him out!! I guess this looking at each other is flirting, but other than that I don't have a lot go on :( Still haven't seen him but I'm all ready to flirt/smile! He's busy, I know...

      I will be posting an update if anything ever does happen!! :)

What Girls Said 3

  • I wanted to comment on this even though I'm not a guy lol sorry.

    This isn't 6th grade hon, he's a doctor and his schedule is probably packed. So if you want to know what's going on with him just ask him out. Your eyes met which is good, but if after the third time and both of y'all didn't say anything then you're both too shy and that's cute but obviously that drives you insane. So next time, just ask him out. It's gonna be worth knowing whether he says yes or no.

    p. S. Don't take looks too seriously. I mean really, how much can you tell from a look?

    • LOL I know it's not 6th grade! I am just incredibly impatient!

      I don't know that I can ask him out. I've asked guys out before and got nowhere so it makes me wary. Also, this is the first time that a guy's shown interest in me first and stared at me (rather than me staring at him) so I'm in what you might call unchartered waters!

      (And don't worry- any help at all on this is appreciated) :)

    • Haha that's so cute :D

      well ok. Then this isn't 8th grade prom where you and a hot guy are staring at each other across the punch bowl. By this I mean, by the time you graduate out of junior high you have to be more outspoken to be noticed. Don't let every time you see him be the same as it was last time. So while other guys have been stupid enough to reject you, don't be too cautious because while dangerous people don't live forever, the cautious ones never do.

  • I agree with epavlova you have access to information about him so you can sort of find out when he'll be there next. Another thing is if he does like you he'll probably come in when he knows your gonna be there like on the same day/time he saw you before. But he's a doctor so if this doesn't happen its probably because he's busy not because he doesn't like you because it sounds like he does. Good luck!

    • Thank you :) Well, I've already done a bit of digging (I have no shame!) and figured out where he's working, when he's got teaching etc. I can't go out into the hospital (no reason to) so I have to wait for him to come in the library.

      I am really paranoid and got it into my head that he was freaked out and that's why he hasn't been in, but I know doctors are very very busy so hopefully you're right and that's why he's not been in :) He's late with his books so I think that suggests he is busy.

  • Well I would say he was totally hitting on you:

    1 time- slightly interested

    2 times- definitely notices you

    3 times- flirting

    Also, when he asks if you remember something about you they want to know is you care and since you said yes then he knows your interested to and that's good!

    Good luck!

    • Thank you :) Someone else said that to me, about him knowing that I am interested! I myself completely overlooked this, lol.

      It's off putting when others tell me that he might be a complete... idiot, shall we say?! and already have a girlfriend. Or that he was just looking but that was it. I think there was more to it and it's reassuring to know that other people agree. So thanks :)