Guys, I need your opinion please!

My boyfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago. We recently talked on the phone about the reason we broke up. I found out he's been lying a lot to me, but that's aside the point. He told me that he doesn't want any relationships right now. So my question is guys, what are some reasons you might not want a relationship with not only your girlfriend but any girls at all?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well.. think logically and honestly about it.. what are the three reasons people are motivated to get together and stay together?

    - money

    - sex

    - emotion

    It's all about supply and demand.. the more of each that someone can supply, the more attractive/desirable they are (the more motivation they create for someone else to want to be and stay with them).. the more of each that someone demands/wants, the more attractive/desirable those who can supply those things will seem to them (the more motivated they will be to want to be or stay with the supplier)

    in the case of money.. the supply usually INCREASES as a function of time (career/professional growth), as does the demand (high lifestyle, family obligations, planning for future, etc)

    in the case of sex.. the supply always DECREASES as a function of time (people just get older).. as does the demand (as men break out of their teens and move towards their 30's.. testosterone shoots down.. along with higher stress and responsibility.. libido and sex drive is almost non-existant)

    in the case of emotion.. the supply is more or less CONSTANT (people are who they are.. and can only change or improve themselves so much).. but the demand for emotion always INCREASES through time (people need more emotional closeness, companionship, affection, attention, comfort, caring, loving, tenderness, etc as they get older.. with more responsibilities and stress, and with family)

    Now let's just zoom in and consider a guy's point of view..

    Money: a guy is a very efficient asset.. on average, men earn and produce more than they spend, and on average, their personal net margin, rate of equity gain, and savings are higher than those of women.. apart from a few exceptions (kevin federline) cough cough.. men have a lower desire for the material.. and can supply themselves much more than they desire.. so there are not motivated to seek a relationship with women in search of someone who will sponsor the lifestyle they seek much can't finance on their own

    Sex: which a man/woman can achieve sexual release on their own through masturbation (maslow's physiological group), both men and women require a second person to achieve sexual intimacy (maslow's loving/belonging group).. however, one need not be in a relationship to have sex.. so men simply ignore women who try and use "morality" as a way of withholding sex in exchange for a relationship.. and just have sex with women who just want sex themselves.. that way.. everyone is honest and nobody gets hurt

    Emotion: this is really the only motivation a guy has to get into a relationship.. no matter how hot or rich a girl is.. if she can't give REAL/HONEST/GENUINE emotion to a guy.. there's just no motivation to get into a serious relationship with her..

    So the ONLY reasons he wouldn't want a relationship?

    1. He doesn't WANT emotion yet!

    2. He wants emotion, but doesn't see you as being able to offer it.. or maybe seeks you as FAKE/DISHONEST..

    • Exactly.

      Money - We don't have that much money to spend on you!

      Sex - Self explanatory

      Emotion - Sometimes we can't figure out ourselves or we don't like a particular emotion which we avoid

What Guys Said 5

  • Well, I have actually never been in that boat and I don't see myself in it in the future. I've always been in a relationship, seeking one, or at least open to it. However, I can see that a lot of guys might see raltionships as troublesome (especailly after ending a rocky one) and be a little sick of it. Also, having a lot of personal struggles can cause some1 to want tow tihdraw and deal with themsleves before they engage in anythign with anyoner else. Then thers another less admirable eplanation, they guy just wants to be a player.

  • At hard times itz one less thing to worry about. I mean I am having a crazy time with this girl I've just been talking to and want to be in a relationship with and that alone has made me ask myself do I really want one right now because she's driving me crazy so sumtimems we're are weird and we just wanna be alone for a little bit

  • hi, to be honest, t think the only reason is so one can "play the field" so to speak! Some of the other reasons could be that he want's more time to spend with himself or friends know being in a relationship (not all the time tho) can put strain on other (friend) relationships when your young for eg I was in a realationship for 9 1/2 years from the age of 21 up to the age of 30 right, we spent a lot of time together in the begining but that was cool cos we were inlove! however this caused me to not see so much of my friends cos I spent most/all of my time with mygirlfriend! BIG MISTAKE -make sure you give each other space for one another have time on their own or with friends... this can lead to other problems tho ie my girlfriend didn't trust me when I wasn't with her and so on...but trust me if its not ment to be it's not ment to be! don't waste time in trying to make it work like I did just move on and enjoy life! (easier said then done, I know) - from my experiece its the only way! hope this helps!


    • Yeah I totally believe now that because we broke up is so he could hang out with his friends more. I mean we have the same close friends (that's basically how we got together) so I've heard from them that he's been doing nothing but going over to their houses and drinking and having a good time. He did mention that when we broke up he wanted things to be like they used to when we were all just friends. So basically, he just wants to live it up with his friends right now.

  • Because then you have to worry about the responsiblity of a relationship. Sometimes its easier to not have to worry about someone else on the time, and just focus on yourself. After I broke up with my first gf, I relized how much time I was putting into her and not my own life, or my own friends. Trying to maintain a relationship can be hard work, because you have to constantly think about every action you do in relation to the other persons feelings.

  • he may have just wanted some alone time and it got to the point where he was willing to throw away a relation ship but that's just a guess I only mention it because I have been there.


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