I'm transgender and debating about transitioning my wardrobe.. Thoughts?

It's not that I can't make up my own mind, it's just that I need a wall to bounce my thoughts off of and I figure talking with more than one person would be a big help in weighing out the pros and cons.
Basically, I only "came out" as being trans to everyone last year. I tried wearing "drag" a few times and felt more comfortable than EVER. Lately I've been debating about changing my wardrobe completely to include only "masculine wear" so I can go on to pass constantly as my gender. It's not that I feel I need to follow a stigma to be counted as my gender, it's just that I feel most comfortable in stereotypical "mens" clothes. I don't want to perpetuate stereotypes, but I can't deny the fact that I feel most comfortable as a man in stereotypical mens clothing, not as a man in stereotypical womens clothing. Then comes the issue that l don't want to disappoint anyone. I want to be authentic to myself, but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, and being authentic makes my roommate complain because he likes my female body and wants to be able to see it &stuff. We're friends and I don't want to upset him, but I don't want to have to be something I'm not. I know what I want to do and it's easy for me to say "well fuck them and do as you want" to everyone and to myself in every other situation, but for some reason this is different. I guess I just don't want to close any doors. As weird as that may sound. Advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Do what you want to do. :) Don't let society, or other people's opinions chose for you. I'm female, and I identify as female, however I frequently shop in the men's section for clothes because I like a lot of the things they have. I wear men's shoes, men's sweaters, sometimes even men's shirts, because they have interesting designs that I sometimes enjoy more than the girly stuff in the woman's section, haha.

    If it's something you want to do, and feel comfortable with doing, then do it. If the rest of the world has a problem with it, who cares? As long as you're comfortable in your own skin, then do that which makes you comfortable, and fuck the rest of the world. :D


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think what's disappointing here is that stereotypes define what you want.

    Buy clothing that you like. And not just because it's "man clothing". If it isn't something that is blatantly "off" (which is pretty difficult to reach as a female, considering males are beaten to death for pink skirts, but there isn't such a thing for females), then you should be fine.

    • "Which is pretty difficult to reach as a female, considering males are beaten to death for pink skirts, but there isn't such a thing for females" I may have the biological sex of a female, but I'm a boy. And I went to school with a boy like me who was rapes and beaten to death in the schools bathroom. Transgender males are actually most likely to be raped than any other subgroup.
      And the thing is, stereotypes don't define what I want. I'm bothered with that I feel most comfortable in something so stereotypical. THAT is my issue. I don't want to fall in to a stereotype, but it happens that what I want happens to be directly correlated to a stereotype, and that pisses me off. Because I don't want to admit that I might fit a status quo of any sort. Because I hate labels.

  • Are some clothes exclusively masculine? Plenty of women wear clothes which once would have been considered "mens clothing" - I don't think there is mens clothing anymore, some clothing is just exclusively for women. (If a man wears a dress people are going to ask questions - if a woman wears pants no one will think anything of it.)

    • Yea but my issue is that I'm a male in a females body and previously I was of the mind that I had accepted all of it and that I didn't need to be accepted by anyone, and I still believe that, BUT I'm learning that I may not be so okay as I thought with being constantly treated like a woman and having to explain and defend my gender to everyone

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    • Are you comfortable with your roommate being attracted to you?

    • Solid advice. Thanks.

      I don't know, I don't really care, I'm just not a big fan of when he's gropey. It's like it puts me back into a feminine role that doesn't fit me, but I don't want upset him, yknow? Like I know he wouldn't get violent. He's only hurt me like two or three times in a year and they were just from him not knowing his strength so it's whatever. I just don't want to make him a downer. Saddened or however you'd call it cuz he likes boobs. Not that I can really blame him, boobs are nice. But I wouldn't touch anyone's if they didn't want me to, yknow?

What Girls Said 5

  • Excuse me you don't owe your ROOMMATE anything. Unless you're fucking it's none of his business. If you wanna dress like a guy and it'll make you happier go for it! Life's too short to hold back.

  • 'being authentic makes my roommate complain because he likes my female body and wants to be able to see it' .. Made my blood boil lol!

    This is who you are, and this is your body and your choices in life.
    I know you say you don't want too make anyone uncomfortable, but honestly it's gonna be the genuine people who support your decision, anyone who feels uncomfortable and tries too make you someone you're not isn't someone you need in your life.

    This is your life babydoll! You need too live how YOU want too make yourself happy :)
    Have you been out in public a lot wearing male clothing? Just make sure you're fully comfortable in all situations before you do a total re-wardrobe :)

    Good luck!

  • The good thing is that there isn't really any mens clothing that a woman can't wear. I think you should wear what ever makes you feel comfortable and not care about what your roommate thinks. He has no right to your body and should definitely not decide how much curves you need to show. If he really is your friend, he should accept you for who you are without getting upset.
    I hope everything works out well for you.

  • Yeah I think you can wear what you want start off getting some bras panties skirts leggings a couple woman's shirts and leotards

  • You're confusing the hell out of me lol. I have a trans friend. She was born a boy & she really do think she's a girl. She's wouldn't dare put on boy clothes are identify herself as a man or gay male. She call wearing women clothing drag. Are you GAY or are you a TRANSGENDER? Do you know the difference between the two?

    Anyways you can't please everyone. Don't make yourself unhappy or uncomfortable trying to please someone else. Do what makes you happy as long as you're not harming anyone else in the process.

    • Ugh typo... she DOESN'T call wearing women clothes drag. All she wear is women clothing and she identifies herself as a woman.

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    • Okay, thanks for clarifying that, I was just curious.