I'm not pretty. What should I do?

Okay I know this sounds like a completely shallow question, but my lack of being pretty REALLY gets to me. My mom took me out the other day to buy a new dress because I have this formal I need to go too. We ended up finding one, but I left the experience crying because I hate my body. I think my face is so ugly. I can't even stand mirrors.

I mean I'm not obese, but I hate my body so much it just makes me want to give up. I know I should take my ass to the gym, but I feel like it wouldn't help. I have a athletic build, and it is anything but feminine. People make jokes about how I could be a body builder . . etc. I laugh it off, but I hate myself so much. I want to improve myself and have a body I'm proud of, but I don't think it's possible with my overall build. I know this is really shallow, but it gets too me so bad. Like I won't date or even go out because I hate the way I look so much.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First things first. Forget the gym and find yourself a great set of girlfriends. Find a wonderful support system. This sounds like a large problem for you, so I'd suggest counseling. It's not what everyone thinks it will be like. They let you vent all your frustrations, then they break up the issues you have, and have you work on them 1 by one, giving you "homework". It's brilliant. Not creepy at all. I promise.

    Also, chances are you're not wearing clothing that's flattering. I feel so gross when I go out in a sweatshirt and baggy pants (even though it's comfortable). Find some quality clothes that show off your assets. No matter how big or small, everyone has 1 body part that looks nice. Showcase that 1 item. A nice long pair of jeans with some slenderizing heels to show off that bottom. A pencil skirt to showcase those legs. A slimming v-neck top to show off some cleavage or clavicle. If you're wearing properly fitting clothes, you'll feel better!

    Take a look at how you do your makeup? Is it natural? There's HUNDREDS of books out there on how to naturally increase what the good Lord gave you. I love Bobbi Brown and Carmindy's books... it's all about making yourself up naturally- to give you a natural flush and make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. Also, what does your hair say about you? These little changes will make a WORLD of difference both to your looks and your feelings about yourself.

    Life can be unfair in the genetics department, but you have to learn to love your body. I know it's a struggle for me. I suffer from acne, and struggle with my weight. Every day I wake up and have to deal with it. But I decided to be positive- and now I'm training for a 1/2 marathon. It's all mental. You can do this! :)

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    • Exactly! This was perfectly said! :)

    • That's great advice. heed it. And the more you learn to separate physical issues with your body and be a dynamite person, you'll begin to exude beauty from a different place. Self esteem is tricky. It should NOT be based on physicality alone. No way. I mean, since when are we the sum of all our physical parts?

What Guys Said 3

  • OK this is going to sound so creepy but can I see pictures of your body.

    Let me rephrase that to not sound like some pervert, could you possibly upload 2 photos of full body shots, you can leave out your face if you wish to remain anonymous.

    A picture from the front and one from the side is best and wear something that is easy to see your build and shape.

    Please if you don't mind update your question with links to the pics, use this site for uploading the pictures www.imageshack.us

    It is easy to use and doesn't require you to join up, I have used it for years for hosting pictures.

    Without the pictures I don't know if you have a genuine issue or that it is just in your head due to low self esteem, with the pictures leave your head in the pictures but if you want to remain anonymous just use paint to black out your face, with the head in the picture it will be easier to see what will work for you as hair can change an overall look easily.

    I won't patronise you with "oh but your gorgeous" as even if you are a lot better than you make out to be you are still obviously in need of some help improving your look to give yourself a long overdue confidence boost.

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    • Put some pictures up! Virtually every girl I have ever known seems to have body issues...at least you care about yours, which means that you would spend time improving yourself if you have to. But maybe you don't?

  • Hi there let me tell you this before one month I was 105 kg so I had to step up and do something because I couldn’t get with any girl I didn’t even find a job because of the way I look and I am a master degree holder but today I am 94kgs and I am in my way to be 85 , look girl if you wanna change, you can change but do one thing don’t ever think that a change that you will make to your self will make people happy about you , you are who you are also if you don’t like yourself no one will like you so you just start by thinking of this points ..you say your body is bad think about people with one leg shorter then another you say you don’t like your face what about people with one eye or people can't see , girl since you are ok and healthy don’t give a sh** about anything els people who made fun about you might be good looking but they might have no brain , trust yourself and you can do anything in this life , one more thing I used to go out with that girl she was 2m and I am 1.74 m and everyone was making fun but I used to like it because it was something good to attract people we went out for 5 years , just love yourself the way you are . T.C

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  • self image problems are usually best left to a psychiatrist. they usually have deeper issues relating to it that anonymous internet question sites with little information related to your psyche posted can assist you with. check it out, it will probably help. nothing to be ashamed of, my dad was a psychiatrist, and I'd probably see one if I had any money

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What Girls Said 5

  • people are so mean! if they made fun of me, I'd tell them to shut up. just emphasize what is beautiful, downplay what isn't. I have parts of me I love and parts of me I don't love. you got to love yourself before anyone else does. try makeup, shopping for clothes, doing your hair differently, that's what I do.

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  • It's not shallow. You just need to learn to accept yourself. You have to love yourself before others can. If you really want to, you could possibly try getting a bit more out of shape? But some muscle is always good. Find a way to look feminine but also keeps your strength. It'll be fun to beat all the guys at arm wrestling but still be datable. :)

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  • hey there.. trust me... you are lucky... I mean 'athletic build', there are peopl out there dying for that kind of body , myself included...and here you are discriminating yourself.. you feel how you look... trust yourself... tink positive... show off the parts that flatter you, like your legs and slender frame... trust me, some people think they look ugly because the clothes don't look good on them...but come on.. peopl look good in clothes.. clothes don't make people look good... gets some close-fitting clothes, avoid baggy.. go for flared and pencil skirts... don't wear baggy tees... check out some sites by fashion experts.. and make sure you know that you look great and tons of peopl out there want to be like you.

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  • Considering you didn't include you weight, I'm not sure if this is a genuine problem where you should be getting active or if your in fine shape and are just not comfortable with the way YOU think you look. Many, many girls think they aren't pretty, even supermodels think they're ugly, you hear them say it all the time. If you feel your genuinely going through an 'awkward' stage, then ask your mom (or go yourself) to go to MAC (or a makeup counter like that) and have them give you a makeover, they don't cost much [if anything, from what I can remember] and then if you like the way you look, buy some of the make up they used, also, if you go to MAC have you ideal make up regimen in mind because they'll follow that. Getting a new hair cut or styling it different helps. As well as keeping your teeth, face, and health intact. If you want a more girlish figure considering getting a push up bra (victoria's secret) and doing some squats for a bigger booty, so you can have more curves ;)

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  • Any updates for us?

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