Am I intimidating?

Ladies is it intimidating when you see some dressed all goth/punked out? I'd like to consider myself to be a nice guy, but I have a style that I like and I'm just curious if it's scaring the girls away.

On an average day I normally wear mostly black, maybe blue jeans that are ripped. My hair is always in my face even when I spike my mohawk up I still have my bangs down. I also accesorize a lot, wearing numerous bracelets, a necklace, piercings, etc.

If you were approached by someone dressed like that would you be intimidated?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know the boat your in man, I have a shaved head (aka, not a buzz but straight razor) a 6g septum ring, 1/2 inch lobes and a couple other piercings. Most people think I am a skinhead/white supremacist from the 1st glance.

    Most of the time people will tell me that they were scared of me at 1st, but think of me as very nice and such after they talk to me.

    I keep in mind that if people are going to ignore me because of my style alone, then they are most likely not worth my time, which means most of the people I do hang out with are VERY excepting and great friends.

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What Girls Said 33

  • I wouldn't be intimidated at all, because I know how you feel. I get told alllll the time that people think I'm super intimidating before they actually talk to me. And it's definitely how I look, because if you were to see me in public, I'm always smiling and laughing and I'm friendly toward just about everyone, so it's obviously not my attitude that's off-putting. But because I know what that's like, I give pretty much anyone the benefit of the doubt, regardless of what they look like.

    I don't know, I don't really mind though because it helps weed out the kind of people I wouldn't really want to be friends with anyway. All of my friends are super open-minded and accepting, and we're all completely different from each other for the most part. It works itself out, haha.

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  • Goths and metalheads are my addicition! guitarists the most! I love them

    but after all I fall under this sterotype anyway since I am a metalhead and simple goth but not to the extreme, piercingsm black clothes mostly, make up and attitude!

    i don't like emos at all whether its a guy or a gurl its just urrrghhhh makes me wanna slap them! but they re just not my type...not because there is something wrong with them!

    you sound hot to me I love mohawks, ripped jeans, piercings and the whole thing!

    Gurls who might be intimidated are the ones who still think that >

    metal = evil

    hardcore music =satan worshippers!

    I don't think you re going to be with any of those close minded gurls anyway!

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  • You have to understand that the clothing and style you wear absolutely sends a message out to the world, regardless of how superficial a person may or may not be. Seeing as your physicality is the first thing someone notices, if your clothing, hair, and general vibe suggest 'don't mess with me', then you can't have unrealistic expectations about people not receiving that message or taking it whichever way you want.

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  • not at all lol. I find that the guys who have the really tough exteriors are usually sweeties. I used to date a guy with a mohawk and bicycle chain necklaces and studded bracelets, he was a teddy bear, but his appearance for some reason made people hesitate to even look him in the eye.

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  • Here are my thoughts..No, people who dress this way are not intimidating at all. Although I like the way it looks, it appears as though you are wearing a uniform. I see many people who parade about looking the way you described, so there is nothing "individual" about it... It then becomes a fashion and trendy...which is the very thing punk was never supposed to be. True rebellion is a state of mind... Going out of your way to dress a certain way just for the sake of rebellion seems a bit silly doesn't it? You are essentially conforming to a non-conformist society... That is something to ponder..

    In any case, I do think that people should not be so quick to judge you solely based upon appearances.

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    • Haha I don't dress this way as a form of rebellion or to be trendy. I like the look and I think it's fun to decorate my clothes.

    • That is cool then, especially if you decorate it yourself, shows you are creative.

  • I think that people look best in whatever they are most comfortable in.

    That being said, I would never be interested in a man wearing "goth" or "punk" clothes. I probably would not approach him or even give him a second thought/glance. It comes across as "high school".

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  • Not intimidating in the least.I actually really appreciate seeing someone who dresses the way they like regardless of the scorn of others as it seems to be almost rare anymore.I would find them very very interesting.Though,as some of the other answers have stated,I do kinda know how you feel.People seem to be quite intimidated by the way I dress.I am more than often labeled 'juvenile delequence' which is really stupid because,for the most part,I stay out of trouble.My point is,no matter where you go there will always be someone to judge you and even poke fun at you.All I can say is you gotta just keep going.Its not immature,not stupid,not scary, and not intimidating.It's just you.

    Good luck!

    Punkie

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  • i would not be intimidated. I would think you're a bit immature and should grow up. and the whole goth look is a bit white trash. I would be more intimidated by a guy who takes good care of himself and wears expensive nice clothes. take it from me. I was all gothed out when I was like 13-16 and I look back and see what an idiot I looked like.

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    • Ouch harsh, but to each their own I guess. But I don't see what's so immature about having your own sense of style. and to clarify when I said goth I was reffering to what's closest to my style. It's more of a mix between goth, punk, and grunge.

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    • I lol'd at mr.nice guy, but he's right. I checked out that website. NO WAY IN HELL am I buying a pair of jeans for 65 dollars. Hell my whole wardrobe cost less then that.

    • Wow people still use the word prep?

  • Yeah, I think I would be, at least a little... but people with rough exteriors are usually REALLY nice... so I would totally give you a chance... Some of my closest friends are really intimidating, but still super nice! Plus, if someone is intimidated by you to the point where they do not want to talk to you, who gives hoot what they think... they are stupid anyways!

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  • I know I wouldn't, but that is because I actually give people chances though. And I have been friends with some people like you! But I get along with everybody and I know that goth/punk guys can be real sweethearts. : ) And I'm open to anyone!

    But I can always tell you, I can see if a girl would be intimidated by you, in general she might just be scared - because people look at other people judging them based off of what they heard or perhaps dealt with. That's why some 'genres' ruin things for people who are just being themselves. And some of them are bitter and rude - trust me dealt with some : ) But depends on the girls that you are approaching too...she might just be too judgmental.

    So I believe you probably are intimidating...not in a bad way - I wouldn't say. I am too, so don't worry 'bout it. ;P

    I think you should be proud of who you are! And embrace that, because a lot of people now and days aren't happy of who they are. And it's really neat to me when people are comfortable with how they look.

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    • I love the way I dress and I won't change for anyone. It's just sometimes I worry about the consiquiences.

  • Nope, you actually look similar to one of my best guy friends lol, and I was never intimidated by him. Some other people were though, but it was before they really got to know him.

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  • Not really...I mean it's probably because I have many friends who dress the say you do. It's more how you carry yourself. I acutally think 'goth/punked out' guys are attractive. Well, some of them anyways, as long as the pull of the look well. =]

    My best friend (Chris), he's verrry goth/punk. His hair is black, always in his face, wears ripped jeans, has guages...etc. But he is the sweetest guy I've ever meet!

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  • So I think your style sounds really cool! I like people who are individual...but I will be honest some girls aren't attracted to that...the ones that aren't attracted to that don't even waste your time with them...they only care about looks and how they will be judged by others...let them get to know you first and then see what happens...

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  • I would definitely be intimidated by just your looks alone, but if you came up to me and act friendly, that would be cool. I tend not to stick to my first impressions of people anyways.

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  • No, not intimidating.

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  • I wouldn't be intimidated I just would probably think we might not have much in common. But I can see past exterior clothes so if the guy is hot I would be able to tell no matter what he was dressed like. I just wouldn't be into that style though no offense

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  • To be very honest, I would be intimdated at first, but once I talked to you(I am fearless about stuff like that) I wouldn't give it a second turn of the head...

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  • Im sure it can be intimidiating for some people. I'm the kind of person, who loves all that kind of stuff (I happen to be in a steampunk group) but I know some people who would be put off by that kind of thing, because its not what they are used to, I guess you just have to take a chance!

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  • Nope...not intimidating at all... :)

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  • For me, I know that I LOVE guys that stand out ! I find that it never hurts to talk to people who aren't afraid of being themselves. . But if some girls are getting scared off you have to think, really what kind of person are they. If they judge you on your appearence !

    And if you dress a certain way, you have to be sure that you know what kinda of people you are attracting and just plain scaaring.

    =)

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  • Yes yes yes. You might be a great guy, but I'm not going to want to know you that well if my first thoughts upon seeing you are, "ohhemgeee he's going to kill me!" haha no offense, seriously, I'm not trying to be mean, it's just that I get REALLY freaked out. But then again my answer Is probably irrelevant since I don't think guys like you even try to TALK to girls like me very often...heheheh

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  • i like punks/emos. lol I am :P

    i wouldn't be intimidated. I'm like you but a girl version probably lol

    id just be like 'heyy we have similar interests lets b friends" :P

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  • i love the goth/punks I dress like it punk is my lifestyle. if girls don't like then you don't need to be with them lol

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  • Here's a view point... if you are scaring girls away you scaring the shallow ones who only look at how you look, not who you are. I think that no matter what, stick to who you are and the right girl will notice you and like you...

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  • Personally I would have to say yes... however I have a good friend who used to come to school with a long black trench coat every day and until I met him through work I was afraid of him.

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  • yes

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  • in my opinion no=)! but remember it depends on the girl if they like it on or they are afraid of u...

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  • i love it personally.

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  • No way would it be intimidating hun its free expression, love it ;p

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  • Personally no, but all girls are different.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I know how you feel there man.

    a lot of people even tell me I'm intimidating.

    But if you don't want to continue dressing the way you want to dress, you just have to wear it with stride. Try to walk with your head high and try to look friendly and approachable as opposed to "sketchy" as some people may profile you.

    You want to look like a normal guy with an alternative sense of style as opposed to a strange person with an alternative sense of style.

    The goal at hand is to make people look at you with curiosity as opposed to distrust.

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    • I agree. I'm going to dress my way regardless of what people think. It's just what I like. However the looking sketchy part I'm not sure how I can avoid that other then making the first approach and showing I'm friendly. btw you look like someone I went to highschool with.

  • Girls like clean cut, and the whole goth doesn't work well outside other emo or goth chicks. Its a different ball game from when girls wear it because they can attract more men, then men can attract females like that. If you like the clothes keep them but show your not emo,

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  • unfortunately many people are intimidated because they are lame and afraid of what seems different to them. most people follow the flock and deem anyone who doesn't an outsider. it is them who has something wrong with them, not you.

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