My wife and I married young and have been married for 13 years. We have five kids together. I am good to her, changing diapers, cleaning the house, doing the grocery shopping, sitting home with the kids while she shops. I make good money and am the sole provider. I love her and she is my best friend. I tell her all of the time how beautiful she is and I mean it. She has never felt pretty, not once in the 15 years. The issue is that she never desires me. She never chases after me or initiates sex. She also denies me quite often, even when I have hinted around about it most of the day. She does not achieve orgasm from intercourse but I have always been able to please her with oral and love doing that. I would do anything to make her happy. I have made attempts to get her interested in finding a way to orgasm with intercourse but she is unwilling to experiment. She has never asked me to perform oral on her and uses the "I didn't ask you to..." excuse when I ask her to return the favor. For the last year, she isn't even interested in having me perform oral on her, even with me initiating. I get sex only after chasing her around for a week and I get like 2 minutes of head maybe once a month but only after complaining and begging. So of course none of that is any fun because I know she has no interest. Once a month or so she will masturbate after we have sex but mostly sex is quick and just for me. I can last a while but she just wants me to hurry up and cum. I hate it so much that I am thinking about looking elsewhere for sex. She knows I am miserable but does not seem to care. I love her and see us growing old together but the situation has been bad for so long. What should I do?
Most Helpful Girl
Hi I'm the same anonymous girl as before (just need more room to type).
1.Check your house phone bill to see who she's calling. link link
2.She could also have an extra phone for cheating.If she can cheat once, she can do it again!3.Please don't ignore your gut instinct.
4.Keep your snooping on the downlow.
5.Here are some signs of cheating: new wardrobe,new exercise regime,secret phone calls,hidden bills, aloof and uncommunicative, seems preoccupied,stays away from home more often,mood swings,stories about their guy friend. link
6.The main thing is to watch her actions and behaviours. Write down anything unusual so you have a concrete list of "odd things" that are occuring to form a credible case. I know this isn't a court case but its a good idea so you can say "well I definitely do have a point here, my intuition is right and I'm not being paranoid".
7.Finally if you find out she is cheating, personally I would leave. Why give her a 3rd chance? But make sure you stay civil to her whatever happens for the sake of your kids. Don't get the kids involved in a tit for tat battle. Check out the links I've sent-I'm not married so I've googled some articles for you. However, I've seen married people being cheated on and what I would say is face up to the problem, whatever it is now. Because it won't go away-it WILL pop up eventually so why not just face it now. Make a decision about what you are going to do either way (when you get to this stage).1