Never good enough?

I've a very driven, ambitious person. However, no matter what I do I still feel I'm just not good enough. I graduated from a really good university and now attend a good grad school. I'm studying to be a journalist and I've done everything I can to make it. Recently, I interned at one of the country's top-rated news shows. I also just got an article published on a popular news web site that is partnered with a famous newspaper. In uni, I was the president of the school debate team.

Still, sometimes I put myself down and I'm very critical of myself. I feel like I'm confident and happy on the outside, but the opposite on the inside.

I compare myself to people and feel inferior.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I totally agree with Cartiphilus, who also commented here. Comparing yourself to other people will drive you nuts. You need to set your own goals, judge yourself based on what you know you are capable of, and forget about everyone else.

    The problem with using other people to gauge your achievements is that you will end up noticing the best achievements from each individual, then feeling inferior. One person might have a great husband, someone else might have written a book, the next guy might be the youngest reporter to be hired at his newspaper. Each person has failures as well as successes. No one person has achieved all of the successes. This situation is similar to one that a girl in high school asked about a few days ago. As the only one without a boyfriend or a car or a job or whatever, she feels left behind by her friends. I told her that one person might have a car and someone else might have a boyfriend, and maybe someone who is lucky has both. I told her to set her own goals and not worry about anyone else.

    I am a teacher/researcher at a pretty intense university, and I can sympathize with you. I know what it is like to feel like a failure even after managing to do some pretty cool things. I can tell you that you will become mellower as you get older. Right now you are still at the stage where you have to prove yourself and establish yourself as good at what you do. Eventually things will become less intense. There will be people who think you are great at what you do and you will have the background you need for the career you want.

    Until things do mellow out, maybe it will help you to remind yourself how far you have come and how happy you are to be doing what you are doing. And how little most other people care about what you do! Even if you win a Pulitzer prize, most people around you will be more concerned about what to eat for dinner or other things going on in their lives. Relax! Good luck!

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What Guys Said 3

  • You need to stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people smarter, faster, and bettter than you. You will also be smarter, faster and better than many people. Give yourself a break and be content.

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  • The bad things about yourself that you see are probably exaggerated by your mind, you should try to realise if these feelings are rational. If so, do something about it, if not try to forget about it and move on. You also have to realise no one's perfect and to look at your good sides and appreciate yourself. You only have to prove yourself to yourself and you're your own worst critic. Aim to be as happy as you can.

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  • YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF !

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What Girls Said 2

  • well that is because you can't appreciate yourself for just being you. You list all of your external accomplishments and, yet you don't mention on thing about your internal accomplishments. For example: I make people happy, I am very funny, I am compassionate. These are internal accomplishments that do not change no matter what you do in life. Start focusing on your internal accomplishments and you won't feel so inferior to other people. If it still persists you might think about going to a therapist who can help you.

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  • I know it maybe a bit vain. But you should also concentrate on the exterior to be completely happy. No one whose fat and bad looking is completely happy, regardless of what they say, they would all love to loose weight. It doesn't matter how smart your are, you can't be completely fullfilled. Focus on the exterior as well. Its human nature, everyone needs to feel good and wants to look good. You'll see, it will help!

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